I'm a full time dad now....I need a bit of help here, pls

[snapperbait]

Re: I'm a full time dad now....I need a bit of help here, pls

<Not a dad, but i'm deathly allergic to dairy stuff...
Read the labels..
Whey is bad..
that is all..

 

[Bass Man Bruce]

Re: I'm a full time dad now....I need a bit of help here, pls

Here's a pictures of my little girl. Now you can see why she is worth everything to me!!!

Good thing for you sixteen is twelve years away!!

 

[Reel Poor]

Re: I'm a full time dad now....I need a bit of help here, pls

BC, I could make this my longest post ever but I won't because I can sum up so much with this on sentence.

What she can't get at home from you she will look for elsewhere as she matures, ie; tv, internet, drugs, boys, ect, ect and the only trouble is by the time you realize there is a problem it's usually to late, she is only searching for what she didn't get from YOU.

Good luck Chris

 

[puddle jumper]

Re: I'm a full time dad now....I need a bit of help here, pls

A lot of people with a lot of hart here so nice to see.

All most kids want is for you to be there for them nothing more nothing less.

If you run into doubt about how to handle something just think how your parents would have handled it and put you own spin on it.Becouse shes a little girl it can be harder for you. Simple things like taking her to the bathroom
in public places can be trying on the both of you.

The best advice i can give you is if you need help is ask your own mom.Grandparents can be the best when it comes to helping you bring up your children. Thay have been there and done that more than once.You cant beat family to help with family.

Good luck From the puddle family

 

[PW2]

Re: I'm a full time dad now....I need a bit of help here, pls

I had two girls, and one lived solely with me from 8th grade on. She knew all there was to know from age 14, but once she got to 22 or so and finally actually knew something I could finally relax a little.

Relax and enjoy them, and do what seems to make sense. Most of all, listen to them. Each kid is different, with different needs. My oldest daughter really liked working with me in the shop. Sometimes an hour job would take 2 hours with her help, but that's the way it goes. And she had her own designated "work dress"

Two rules that I lived by:

One, let them make as many decisions for themselves as is realistic and practical and they are ready for, and mistakes are learning experiences, obviously as long as that mistake has no life altering consequences

Never ask a question where "no" is not an acceptable answer. bedtime is bedtime, for example, and never ask whether they want to go to bed.

 

[brother chris]

Re: I'm a full time dad now....I need a bit of help here, pls

BC, I could make this my longest post ever but I won't because I can sum up so much with this on sentence.

What she can't get at home from you she will look for elsewhere as she matures, ie; tv, internet, drugs, boys, ect, ect and the only trouble is by the time you realize there is a problem it's usually to late, she is only searching for what she didn't get from YOU.

Good luck Chris

Thanks RP, Wow, that sure is a reality check statement! It's true though!

 

[PW2]

Re: I'm a full time dad now....I need a bit of help here, pls

I'm not sure that is true, RP. She, when she gets a bit older, is going to want things from boys that she can't get from her dad. The key is to teach her how to make decisions for herself, and to learn from her mistakes at an early age.

My daughter and I had many talks when she got interested in boys, and I could not count the times I told her "I know what boys are like, I used to be one!"

We survived it!

 

[brother chris]

Re: I'm a full time dad now....I need a bit of help here, pls

I agree pw2. She will need to make her own decisions about boys. I'll help her out as best I can and I will be reading some books on raising girls.

 

[PW2]

Re: I'm a full time dad now....I need a bit of help here, pls

I kind of think RP's thing is kind of a guilt trap.

You're going to make mistakes as a dad. She's going to make mistakes as she grows up. It's called living life.

Most of all, enjoy her, and your relationship with her and use common sense and you won't go too far wrong.

She sure is a cutie!

Of all the things I did with my daughter and for my daughter, one of the things she still talks about with fondness that apparently made a lasting impression on her was a little game we played on the living room carpet when she was about your daughter's age. I would sit in the middle of the floor, and tell her she better not push me over...and of course she pushed me over, where I went flying over backwards while she burst into uncontrollable laughter.

It doesn't take much to make a lasting impression on them--and things and toys and trips to Disneyland and whatever are good to do, and we did them too, but the silly games on the living room floor are probably more important.

 

[Reel Poor]

Re: I'm a full time dad now....I need a bit of help here, pls

PW I think you read a little to much into my post. If kids can't get attention, compassion, love, understanding, and some guidance from home, believe me, they will look elsewhere for it. It's human nature to feel a need for these things.

 

[rmmpe]

Re: I'm a full time dad now....I need a bit of help here, pls

I am so impressed with all written here. It would have been really good to have this advice when I was raising kids. Trial and error sucks.

I'll add that even during a nasty divorce and visitation deprivation my kids always remembered that I said "You never know where I'll be or when I'll be there. But know that I will always be there for you".

They remember it to this day.

Lesson: Kids learn what buttons to push form day one and they'll push them whenever it's convenient for them.

1. They learn right from wrong from you.
2. You have a responsibility to teach them.
3. Be generous with your time.
4. Enjoy every minute of it because it's too soon gone.