coastalrichard
Lieutenant
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2009
- Messages
- 1,255
[SIZE=+1]Deep Dumb Thoughts [/SIZE]
| 1. | How is it possible to have a civil war? |
| 2. | If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too? |
| 3. | If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? |
| 4. | If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? |
| 5. | Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? |
| 6. | If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole damn airplane made out of that stuff? |
| 7. | Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? |
| 8. | The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. |
| 9. | I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. |
| 10. | If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? |
| 11. | Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a"S" in it? |
| 12. | Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? |
| 13. | Can fat people go skinny-dipping? |
| 14. | Can you be a closet claustrophobic? |
| 15. | Is it possible to be totally partial? |
| 16. | If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? |
| 17. | If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off? |
| 18. | When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in? |
| 19. | If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? |
| 20. | Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? |
| 21. | What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants? |
| 22. | Why is bra singular and panties plural? |
| 23. | If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? |
| 24. | Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure? |
| 25. | Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? |
| 26. | When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? |
| 27. | Why do they report power outages on TV? |
| 28. | Insanity is my only means of relaxation. |
| 29. | One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds. |
| 30. | The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body & your fat are really good friends. |
| 31. | Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone. |
| 32. | Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. |
