SoulWinner
Commander
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2002
- Messages
- 2,423
Johny Depp, in a long awaited press release, forcefully put himself in the same boat as the now unemployable actors who have contributed so much to thier "craft," like Sean Penn and the venerable Ms Garaffello, he gleefully innunciated feelings and opinions about the United States so strongly enbraced by the inlightened left. Backed up and emboldened by such luminaries as Barbara Streisand(sp?), John launched into biting attacks on the American public, citing the intellectual integrity of renaming fast food items to reflect American's collective dissapointment with the French refusal to joint the rest of the world in the 21st century. <br /><br />His agent was later quoted as saying "It looks as though Johny's career may be on hold for a while, at least until these stupid, arrogant Amercian's short attention span and notorius short memory draw thier wrath toward the next exhorbitantly rich, self involved, egocentric loudmouth." When reminded that he himself was indeed American, the agent responded, "uh, what was the question?"<br /><br />When asked to comment on the statements of his illustrius peer, Sean Penn pronounced, "We've lost all but two inches of our top soil, and the industrial miltitary complex is still feeding it's every increasing maw with the smoldering bodies innocent women and children.....and kittens.....what was the question?"<br /><br />Barbara Stiesand was quick to point out that Americans were lucky to have such enlightened voices speaking unintelligeably into microphones and doing our thinking for us. "Bill Clinton cared deeply about Somalia, that's why he disregarded the exit date and strategy that was put in place by the exiting Bush Sr. administration, "why, those nasty ole Army guys were too busy killing kittens to ensure that the emergency food supplies were being properly distributed anyway. Besides, isn't that the Peace Corps job?"<br /><br />Wowed by her insightfull comments, and bolstered by Geraffelo's denial that she doesn't know who Johny Depp is and could care less about right and wrong as long as everyone agreed with her "and by the way, can someone make those "A" holes on Tough Crowd with Colin Quin stop saying nasty things about me??" Johnny stepped up his comments, attacking the "vast right wing conspiracy" for squelching his other commentaries that would have led America's national discussion into realms such as the return of polyesther bell bottom liesure suits and the very real merrits of making bongs out 10 gallon aquariums. "with two air pumps" Johny continued, "those things can pound an awesome power hit!"<br /><br />When aked his feelings about several upcoming scripts being pulled from the table by Holleywood film producers, he responded by sliding out his chair like a runny egg and fell asleep.<br /><br />More on this breaking news as this riveting story developes.
<br /><br />His only intellegible answers, were: Yup, nope, dunno.<br /><br />He lives in France and WILL give his children dope. "as long as it (dope) is at home, under my supervision". <br /><br />What an idiot!<br /><br />Problem is; todays society belives EVERYTHING they see on the idiot box. That includes baby boomers, gen X, and gen Y.
