kenmyfam
Supreme Mariner
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2006
- Messages
- 14,392
This is an actual letter of resignation from an employee at
>>Zantex Computers, USA, to his boss. His boss apparently resigned
>>very soon afterwards!"
>>
>>Dear Mr Baker,
>>
>>As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a
>>few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct
>>superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground
>>squirrel.
>>
>>After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-
>>workers and myself during the commission of our duties, I can
>>only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of
>>our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every
>>little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll
>>into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of
>>precious oxygen. I was hired because I
>>know how to network
>>computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide
>>amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly
>>attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the
>>hundredth time.
>>
>>You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly
>>simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also
>>never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and
>>explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as
>>effective as telling you what an IP is.
>>
>>Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You
>>walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault
>>in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that
>>may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually
>>have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping
>>their talent will
>>cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world
>>of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that
>>everyone else eats and laughs at.
>>
>>Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.
>>Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you
>>getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender
>>my resignation; however I have a few parting thoughts.
>>
>>1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is
>>illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to
>>hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends
>>randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you
>>honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
>>
>>2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I
>>know every password you have used for the last five years. If you
>>decide to get cute, I am
>>going to publish your "favourites list",
>>which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your
>>useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not
>>usually viewed favourably by the administration.
>>
>>3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your
>>mothers b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to
>>take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to
>>erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice to say I
>>have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure
>>you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending
>>the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use
>>a spell check please. I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
>>
>>Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of
>>recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow.
>>
>>One word of this
>>to anybody, and all of your little twisted
>>repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with
>>your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do
>>with all that free time!
>>
>>Sincerely
>>
>>Zantex Computers, USA, to his boss. His boss apparently resigned
>>very soon afterwards!"
>>
>>Dear Mr Baker,
>>
>>As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a
>>few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct
>>superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground
>>squirrel.
>>
>>After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-
>>workers and myself during the commission of our duties, I can
>>only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of
>>our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every
>>little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll
>>into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of
>>precious oxygen. I was hired because I
>>know how to network
>>computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide
>>amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly
>>attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the
>>hundredth time.
>>
>>You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly
>>simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also
>>never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and
>>explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as
>>effective as telling you what an IP is.
>>
>>Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You
>>walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault
>>in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that
>>may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually
>>have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping
>>their talent will
>>cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world
>>of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that
>>everyone else eats and laughs at.
>>
>>Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.
>>Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you
>>getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender
>>my resignation; however I have a few parting thoughts.
>>
>>1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is
>>illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to
>>hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends
>>randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you
>>honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
>>
>>2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I
>>know every password you have used for the last five years. If you
>>decide to get cute, I am
>>going to publish your "favourites list",
>>which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your
>>useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not
>>usually viewed favourably by the administration.
>>
>>3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your
>>mothers b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to
>>take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to
>>erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice to say I
>>have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure
>>you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending
>>the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use
>>a spell check please. I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
>>
>>Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of
>>recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow.
>>
>>One word of this
>>to anybody, and all of your little twisted
>>repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with
>>your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do
>>with all that free time!
>>
>>Sincerely
>>
