Stumpknocker
Senior Chief Petty Officer
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2003
- Messages
- 774
Sorry guys, but some of it is true!!! 
<br /><br /><br />Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?<br /> <br />A: Shoot him again.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Q: How can you tell if a man is well hung?<br /> <br />A: When you can barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Q: Why do little boys whine?<br /> <br />A: Because they are practicing to be men.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> <br /> A: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him, or three - one to screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag<br />about the screwing part.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?<br /> <br />A: Trustworthy.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?<br /> <br />A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Q: Why does it take 100, 000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?<br /> <br />A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their mates after mating?<br /> <br />A: To stop the snoring before it starts<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?<br /> <br /> A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Q: What is the difference between men and women...?<br /> <br /> A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.<br /> <br /><br /> <br /> Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your email? <br /> <br /> A: Rename the folder to "Instructions Manuals".
<br /><br /><br />Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?<br /> <br />A: Shoot him again.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Q: How can you tell if a man is well hung?<br /> <br />A: When you can barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Q: Why do little boys whine?<br /> <br />A: Because they are practicing to be men.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> <br /> A: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him, or three - one to screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag<br />about the screwing part.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?<br /> <br />A: Trustworthy.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?<br /> <br />A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Q: Why does it take 100, 000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?<br /> <br />A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their mates after mating?<br /> <br />A: To stop the snoring before it starts<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?<br /> <br /> A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Q: What is the difference between men and women...?<br /> <br /> A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.<br /> <br /><br /> <br /> Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your email? <br /> <br /> A: Rename the folder to "Instructions Manuals".
