need dad to quit smoking

[JB]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

Well, if your Dad is anything like my kids' dad begging, scolding, crying or threatening will only strengthen his resolve to not be bullied or manipulated.

If there is any way for you to intervene successfully it would be to offer a reward or payoff that he would want more than a smoke.

To quote my good friend and mentor, Dr. Robert Mager:

Exhortation is the most used and least effective behavior change method known to man.

Threats are probably second place.

People change their behavior only in expectation of desirable consequences.

Offer Dad a desirable consequence. . . .more desirable than a good smoke.

 

[coolguy147]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

mmmmm he likes to watch movies? i mean getting him some movie wont make him quit but watching it with him might

 

[marlboro180]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

I have a deal with my little girl. If I light up and she is around, she is to say _ Dad, you really should not be having a cigarette_ And I am to reply- Thanks for the reminder- and put it out.
Nagging does not work, being supportive is best.

Chantix, WACKO LSD inspired dreams, thoughts too ( it is an SSRI, No?). Crazy dreams with the patch. Hypnosis next....

Good luck Cool Guy, let him know you love him, support him and do not care if he is being a jerk while having nic fits....

Bags of jolly ranchers, pistachios, whatever for hints every once in a while to keep the conversation on the table.

 

[itsaboattime]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

mmmmm he likes to watch movies? i mean getting him some movie wont make him quit but watching it with him might

Hey Cool.........Have him read this thread. I'm reading it and thinking about kicking the habit right now.

My dad smoked Camel shorts(unfiltered) for as long as I could remember. My mom smoked Pall Malls. They killed her in 1996, lung cancer and heart disease. AND like Mphy98's Mother in law, she was also told to start smoking by her Dr. when she was pregnant with my oldest brother in 1957. "for her nerves"

My Dad ran out of smokes the day after he funeral. Hasn't bought any since. I don't have his willpower.

 

[jonesg]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

I don't think its will power, it looks like it is but I have this suspicion it ain't.

Its a low level addiction and that doesn't really respond to will power, if you see someone quit and then they switch to food, its really still there.

Abraham Lincoln said "those without vices are usually just as lacking in virtues".

Nagging doesn't do squat, better to ask yourself why you want to direct someone elses choices. Because the only power anyone has is the choices they make for their own life. So the first and most usefull exercise of choice is to choose not to try and direct other peoples lives.

Even if their choices don't seem too bright to us, they're not ours to make.

 

[ezmobee]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

Nagging doesn't do squat, better to ask yourself why you want to direct someone elses choices. Because the only power anyone has is the choices they make for their own life. So the first and most useful exercise of choice is to choose not to try and direct other peoples lives.

Even if their choices don't seem too bright to us, they're not ours to make.

Are you really asking a son to question himself on why he wants his father to quit smoking?

 

[JB]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

Are you really asking a son to question himself on why he wants his father to quit smoking?

I don't think so. I think he is asking the son to reconsider how he seeks to influence his Dad's choice of behavior.

First of all, we are not effective in making choices for others, but we do have the option of influencing what choices they make for themselves by arranging or pointing out consequences that may influence them to make the choices we desire.

The consequences we may offer or point out must be authentic and more desirable than the present choice to be of any value in stimulating a decision to change.

A more sophisticated way of saying he has to want to quit.

 

[Bass Man Bruce]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

For about twenty years I used to smoke one or two a day. I asked the Doc and he said no problem if you don't escalate.
Then about ten years ago no matter where I hid them the pack was always bent in half. Turned out to be my daughter (what could I say, she was the one who was right, I woulda done the same to her) It was just easier to quit.
Funny part was she didn't own up to for 5 or 6 years.
Good luck!

 

[coolguy147]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

hopely it will get warmer down here in florida. ever since i fixed up my first boat back in 2008 ive been meaning to take him on for a ride. hopely this spring break which is after fCRAP testing in the last week of march. the weather will be warmer and i will take him on the ski boat or pontoon his choice.

 

[DaNinja]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

I like this thread.
I had my first appointment at the VA the other day. The doc prescribed me a new alternative to Chantix. I was very leery about the side effects of Chantix. If I want to off myself, I just keep enjoying my cigarettes.(lol)

He's also sending me patches, so we'll see if I can pull this off. The nurse told me she quit with a clincal hypnosis. Interesting, coming from a medical professional.

My problem is that I like my cigarettes. I know it's bad, but it's part of my routine. It's getting to be an very expensive little hobby though.

 

[trendsetter240]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

I like this thread.
I had my first appointment at the VA the other day. The doc prescribed me a new alternative to Chantix. I was very leery about the side effects of Chantix. If I want to off myself, I just keep enjoying my cigarettes.(lol)

He's also sending me patches, so we'll see if I can pull this off. The nurse told me she quit with a clincal hypnosis. Interesting, coming from a medical professional.

My problem is that I like my cigarettes. I know it's bad, but it's part of my routine. It's getting to be an very expensive little hobby though.

Good for you I quit with the patch about 2 months ago. It?s a 3 step deal if you smoke a pack or more per day. My experience, the first 2 weeks were very difficult but the patch helped. Then I was fine for 2 weeks then the step down to the next level patch I had about 3 days where I was very irritable but that passed. Now I am about to switch to the last level of patch and expecting that to be another challenge.

The most important thing is to persevere. It's a physical and psychological addiction, the patch helps you cure the psych first then the physical second.

It's pretty simple really..You either quit now and work to repair your body from years of pollution or you continue until you get sick and die. The body is a remarkable machine..I smoked for 15 years and after 1 month of quitting I felt 10 years younger.

 

[DaNinja]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

I'm more financially motivated to quit. I listen to Dave Ramsey extrapolate the cost of cigarettes over twenty years and it makes me physically ill.

Not even figuring the heath costs, that money invested would be a small fortune.

 

[trendsetter240]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

I'm more financially motivated to quit. I listen to Dave Ramsey extrapolate the cost of cigarettes over twenty years and it makes me physically ill.

Not even figuring the heath costs, that money invested would be a small fortune.

Personally I tried to quit a couple times in the past for financial reasons. All of them failed as soon as I was doing well with money again. You need to quit for yourself, once you've decided that you NEED to quit you will be successfull.

Remember the nicotine patch is more expensive than smoking in a lot of cases. (although it is only for a 2-3 month period). right now I pay more per week to be on the patch then I ever did to smoke.


Best of luck to you, honestly you will be happier smoke free and I hope you find what you need to make it so.

p.s. same goes for coolguy's dad.

 

[DaNinja]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

Personally I tried to quit a couple times in the past for financial reasons. All of them failed as soon as I was doing well with money again. You need to quit for yourself, once you've decided that you NEED to quit you will be successfull.

Remember the nicotine patch is more expensive than smoking in a lot of cases. (although it is only for a 2-3 month period). right now I pay more per week to be on the patch then I ever did to smoke.


Best of luck to you, honestly you will be happier smoke free and I hope you find what you need to make it so.

p.s. same goes for coolguy's dad.

I agree. My financial motivation could be gone tomorrow. I'm between careers right now, so I hope that motivation carries through when I'm employed again.

The VA is giving me the meds and patches. I'll do my best not to waste the dollars and efforts.

 

[mickjetblue]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

Smoking and quitting is a really "hot" subject, no pun intended.

I agree that coaching, advising, and nagging will not help, and only entertains
the smoker in the mind games played to rationalize the habit.
Nothing like attention sometimes.

I would suggest that you talk about the "future" occasionally, with him.
Maybe he will flip the switch to positive for himself, which is necessary.

Good luck!

 

[thrillhouse700]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

I quit smoking.......5 times. People nagging u makes u angry. Everyone here is right you have to WANT to quit. It really is will power and breaking the habit of smoking. The addiction only lasts 3 days after you quit. Right now I can go weeeeeeks without a smoke. Only times I smoke is when I'm HAMMERED and working on the boat.

You need to have a heart to heart with him. Don't give him a list of bad and good it will just be telling him things he already knows. Talk to him. Its tough to do because dad will think he controls the situation and may try to dance around the subject. Be stern, its your time to be the adult.......... The only way to get him to quit is to not get him to quit, but to get him to WANT to quit.

 

[rjwoodrome]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

Chantex, and Willpower quit 3 1/2 years ago smoked for 26yrs. gained 20 lbs. but I can breath now. granted the sideffects were present but managable.
Dreamed about flying alot for some reason? Thought I would dream about fishing more

 

[ezwitter]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

i've smoked for 18yrs wife and kids stay on me hard about smoking. i really want to stop and i do good on weekend, but monday back at shop around the guys that all smoke and there i go. i need all help i can get to stop smoking really need to go to the doctor and ask for help i guess

 

[ezwitter]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

maybe if i get off this putter a walk around shop i'll have something to do besides smoke and read lol



going in shop bye

 

[JB]

Re: need dad to quit smoking

Interesting coincidence.

While I was reading this thread in came an Email from my only, and treasured, Daughter in Law.

Her Mom's lung cancer has spread to her spine and pelvis. They have changed chemo because the other didn't work. Personal opinion is that they are spitting into the wind.

Is that so bad? It is at least doing something. . . even when there is little or no hope. . .that satisfies one's need to protect and shield loved ones from terrible consequences.

So, please consider what you may face if you fail to try.