Newfie genius...

Stachi

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Jul 14, 2009
Messages
1,671
One morning, three Newfoundlanders and three Albertans were in a ticket counter line at a train station. The three Albertans each bought a ticket and watched as the three Newfies bought just one ticket.

'How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?' asked one of the Albertans.

'Watch and learn,' answered one of the Newfies.

All six boarded the train where the three Albertans sat down, but the three Newfies crammed into a toilet together and closed the door. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around to collect tickets.
He knocked on the toilet door and said, 'Ticket, please.'

The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and moved on.. The Albertans saw this happen and agreed it was quite a clever idea. Indeed, so clever they decided to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money.

That afternoon when they got back to the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip and watched, while to their astonishment,the three Newfies didn't buy even one ticket!

'How are you going to travel without a ticket?' asked a perplexed Albertan. 'Watch and learn,' answered the three Newfie boys in unison.

When they boarded the train, the three Albertans crammed themselves into a toilet and the three Newfies crammed into another toilet just down the way. Shortly after the train began to move, one of the Newfies left the toilet and walked over to the toilet in which the Albertans were hiding.

The Newfie knocked on the door and said, 'Ticket, please.' :)
 

r.j.dawg

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May 30, 2011
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993
Re: Newfie genius...

thumbs_up.gif
 

tallcanadian

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Re: Newfie genius...

That's pretty smart. How do you know about Newfies way down in PA? Unless you are one...:D
 

JB

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Re: Newfie genius...

Pretty slick. :D
 

Stachi

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Messages
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Re: Newfie genius...

That's pretty smart. How do you know about Newfies way down in PA? Unless you are one...:D

I have some friends from there...I saw this on their FB page... I thought it was pretty funny...
 

tallcanadian

Captain
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Messages
3,250
Re: Newfie genius...

A telephone company was hiring people to put in telephone poles. It came down to three groups of guys for the job. An Australian crew, an American crew and a Newfie crew. The boss came out and said whoever installs the most poles by days end will get the job. So they all set out to put the poles in the ground. At the end of the day they came back and the boss asked the Australians how many poles the put in. The answer was 32. The boss asked the American crew how many poles. They said 37. The boss asked the Newfies how many poles. The Newfs answered 3. The boss angrily said 3? Why only 3? One of the Newfies walks up and says, ''yeah only three me son, but look how much they all left sticking out of the ground....:D:D
 

JB

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
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45,907
Re: Newfie genius...

I have relatives in St. John's. Torys who fled the Revolution in about 1780.
 

O-fishal

Petty Officer 3rd Class
Joined
Nov 4, 2011
Messages
91
Re: Newfie genius...

Know why there is no work in Newfoundland????
.
>
>



They've finished it all.:facepalm:
 

fisherguy123

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Dec 17, 2010
Messages
333
Re: Newfie genius...

You know you're from Newfoundland when...
- You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
- You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- The mosquitoes have landing lights.
- You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
- You have 10 favourite recipes for bottled moose.
- Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
- You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
- You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
- You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
- You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
- The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for local softball scores.
- At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
- The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
- Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
- You think the start of salmon fishing season is a national holiday.
- You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
- You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
- You find -40C a little nippy.
- The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
- You can play road hockey on skates.
- You know 4 seasons - Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
- The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.

and if you don`t believe me here is a picture of me kayaking in May in the Bay of Exploits about 3 years ago !!!
 

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tallcanadian

Captain
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Sep 7, 2006
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3,250
Re: Newfie genius...

I believe you. I lived there for 10 years. I did put a lot of miles on my snowmobile. And those mosquitoes, so big....
 

86 century

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Sep 8, 2009
Messages
986
Re: Newfie genius...

I have budy that works for the canadian power company.
He claims there are only two seasons up north winter and masquitoes.
 

fisherguy123

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Dec 17, 2010
Messages
333
Re: Newfie genius...

I had one of your big black dogs if that counts

just for your information we have 2 big black breeds .......the Newfoundland Dog and the Labrador Retriever.......in case you aren`t familiar with our Province it is called "Newfoundland and Labrador"......and for you hunters out there we have 1 moose for every 2 people in the Province.
 

86 century

Ensign
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Sep 8, 2009
Messages
986
Re: Newfie genius...

Didnt know it was the same area.
We had a newfy when I was a kid best dog in the world.
 

NYBo

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Oct 23, 2008
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7,107
Re: Newfie genius...

I used to have a dog that was half Newf... just like me!
 

veritas honus

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Jun 13, 2010
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1,876
Re: Newfie genius...

My favorite cousin has a lot of property in Ripon, Quebec. I don't recall how many square miles, but he owns 1/2 of a mountain, and the house he and his family lived in for years when I was a child, is almost a mile away. His closer next door neighbor is about a 10 minute. He was a beekeeper, and he grew various crops. I went there for a few summers as a child and worked the bees with him. I don't recall how he says it in French, but his farm is named, "Farm At The Foot Of The Mountain"... Just did an online translation and found, "Ferme au pied de la montagne" Anyway...

His two older children were in their early teens when I was 6 or 7 years old. They told me a few "Newfie jokes" and I was a little puzzed. They explained to me, "You have polish jokes in America... We have Newfie jokes here."

I'm not trying to make anyone mad... Just a funny childhood memory.;)
 
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