One of the worst day of my life

[jay_merrill]

Re: One of the worst day of my life

When I was a young man, I went through something similar. My GF at the time had two kids and I became very attached to both, as they did to me. As I became more and more emotionally separated from my feelings about the breakup with their mother, the more I began to realize that about 90% of the pain, had to do with the kids. The simple fact of the matter was that I loved them very much and I was mourning their loss more than hers.

It would be presumptuous of me to say that this is exactly what you are going through, but it might be part of the situation. If you think I have touched on something, merely realizing that fact might help you work your way through this a little more easily.

Hang in there - you will move on and you will find new love.

 

[AZSenza]

Re: One of the worst day of my life

Breaking up is usually hard. I've had a few that were life changing, the last one made me leave my home state of Texas for good. Same thing, her family showed up to move her stuff (Not much) I'm in SUCH a better place, better job, lifestyle all around turned out for the BEST (She got REAL BIG I found out from a friend, not that size matters - she isn't a fish) Please-take it for all that it is, a change. There is always a bigger, more tasty fish and when you have a bag limit of 1, sometimes you have to throw back a good one, and a few not so great till that Whopper comes along. Mine did, yours will too. Go find something to take your mind off of it, Wax your boat, take a second job...what ever!
Stay Dry...

 

[gonefishie]

Re: One of the worst day of my life

I think what's bothering me the most right now is the emptiness feeling. The last serious relationship I had before this one was a long term one too. After that break up, I prevented myself from getting involve in serious relationship for 6 yrs. I stayed busy and started tournament fishing during this time. I even moved out of state for a couple years to get away. All of this kept me content but I still feel empty at times. Then I met this girl, we lived together, I felt good, the emptiness feeling went away. Bang! it happened again, like a vicious f..ing cycle.

 

[mikeandronda]

Re: One of the worst day of my life

I feel your pain dude.....you aint alone......Always remember that. When things suck there are others out there that can relate and hopfully help.....And yes those circles we seem to put our selves through suck no doubt.

 

[zach103]

Re: One of the worst day of my life

start fishing again. go out. meet new people. you'll find someone again.. if you were somewhere warmer than ct i woulda visited you and gone fishing but i bet everythings frozen there too

 

[WizeOne]

Re: One of the worst day of my life

The pain is real Gonfishie and I know that this is 'old school' but next time keep your distance, ie, do not live together until it becomes apparent that she is the right one to invest your life with.

Statistically, you let yourself in for a letdown. Cohabitation before marraige plus lady with children. You might as well try to fathom a mother bear with cubs.

 

[gonefishie]

Re: One of the worst day of my life

start fishing again. go out. meet new people. you'll find someone again.. if you were somewhere warmer than ct i woulda visited you and gone fishing but i bet everythings frozen there too

No it ain't frozen, going to be in the mid 60's this weekend and I will be fishing.

 

[zach103]

Re: One of the worst day of my life

No it ain't frozen, going to be in the mid 60's this weekend and I will be fishing.

F'in lucky .. alright where do you live. ill come down after i help john out lol.. its just too cold here.

 

[jonesg]

Re: One of the worst day of my life

I think what's bothering me the most right now is the emptiness feeling. The last serious relationship I had before this one was a long term one too. After that break up, I prevented myself from getting involve in serious relationship for 6 yrs. I stayed busy and started tournament fishing during this time. I even moved out of state for a couple years to get away. All of this kept me content but I still feel empty at times. Then I met this girl, we lived together, I felt good, the emptiness feeling went away. Bang! it happened again, like a vicious f..ing cycle.

yeh I know that feeling well, like a hacksaw through the bones, like sandpaper across the soul.
the emptyness is because the other person was being utilized to fill a gap in your soul that no human can fill.
Metaphorically speaking, we are all born with a hole in the soul and only one thing can occupy it. People try to fill that gap with all sorts of "stuff",
let me count the ways I've tried...money, power , prestige ...and ...relationships. It doesn't work because it can't, nothing can fill the infinite except the infinite.
It might "feel" right for a while but it soon starts to rattle around in the hole, then it falls out and the pain of loss is hell.

What I experienced was the result of putting the wrong entity in that hole in order to feel complete, it didn't work so I shied away from relationships and got involved in life, but I didn't understand what happened and didn't see it when the same thing was set in motion again.
If we always do what we always did we'll always get what we always got.

I also tried moving away, but I didn't move away from ME.

The good news is it gets worse.
The bad news is you can change in a flash, but you might have to let go of some long held beliefs about self.

sound familiar?