Police comments.

[bassboy1]

These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the USA ​

16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."





15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."





14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."





13 "If you try to run, you'll only go to jail tired."





12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."





11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"





10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"





9 "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to speed again or I'll give you another ticket."





8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"





7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."





6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."





5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."





4 "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"





3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."





2 "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."





AND THE WINNER IS........





1 "You didn't think we gave "pretty women" tickets? You're right maam, we don't. Sign right here."

 

[Uraijit]

Re: Police comments.

Awesome. Just what we need, more smart-*** cops.

I used to want to be a cop...

 

[tashasdaddy]

Re: Police comments.

hope none of these were from personal experience.

 

[Kenneth Brown]

Re: Police comments.

I expect a little bit but don't trash me too bad.

I've personnally used 15,9, and 3.

 

[NelsonQ]

Re: Police comments.

I think some of them are downright hilarious. I think if put in context (What the other person said first) I'm sure there a worse things that could be said.

Cops get a bad wrap (they're not all bad/corrupt) and most of my experiences they've been pretty reasonable (mind you, I know being my usual wise-as* self won't help me any)

I love #1...

 

[thefairlaneman]

Re: Police comments.

The best quote I have from a cop is "Im busy right now ,let me call you back" I had just told him I had information on a FELONY SUSPECT. Ive been waiting 6 years and he still hasnt returned my call.........by the way my information was 100% correct

 

[Benny1963]

Re: Police comments.

yes yes just about right never used one of them my self

 

[kenimpzoom]

Re: Police comments.

Stupidest thing you can tell a cop is two beers. I usually go with five.

I have had a few run ins with the law, but most were good guys just doing thier job.

Couple weeks a go a jerk cop was doing the "Back up sir"... "dont make me say it again or I will put the cuffs on you" BS. I had just handed him my license. I was already 3 ft away and backing up when he said that. He did this crap with two other cops standing and watching with a clear view about 30 ft away. Just wanted to be a jerk.

Pissed me off, luckily I can manage my temper in the face of a jerk.

Ken

 

[JoeCrow]

Re: Police comments.

A guy ran a stop sign and when I stopped him,
he said he slowed down for the stop sign
I advised him he had to stop not slow down
He said "What's the difference?"
I started hitting him on the head with my nightstick,
and asked him if he wanted me to stop, or slow down </joke>

BTW
I'm retired from a local police dept here in Jersey

 

[mthieme]

Re: Police comments.

Geez. Moderator - please close while I still have restraint!
I work for local government - 20 years now.
The past 8 have been with public safety and my office is at PD HQ.
The previous years were spent downtown state capital central.
I could start my own forum about politicians and cops.
Don't even get me started.

 

[BoatBuoy]

Re: Police comments.

Local patrol officer that I know got in some kind of trouble although nothing serious, just enough to get assigned jailhouse duty for a while.

When I asked him what happened he just said "Some people always claim that they know the sheriff. Well, some really do know the sherrif."

 

[JoeCrow]

Re: Police comments.

Back in the 70's when I was fresh out of the academy a seasoned old veteran told me
"Kid, all you need to do this job right is a little common sense, a little compassion, and a BIG sense of humor"
He'll never know how right he was

 

[Benny1963]

Re: Police comments.

amen on the humor iresponded to a public diturbance call
when i got there my back up arrived it was a three hundred puound black
woman that had tied here 120 pound husband up with there phone card and then duct taped his mouth shut with what looked like a whole roll
every time he moved she hit him with a frying pan .he was drunk and she was tired of it ,before that we had a breakin and entry call
they had called in when i got there he had gone out back window
but there was only one shoe print he was one legged they caught him on a pay phone he denied it all .we laughed so hard on the call we called our sarge hoping for a little help and he started laughing to
but we took her frying pan sent her home and took him to the drunk tank for the night .when he got out he came to my patrol car and said thanks for all the help .lol

 

[thefairlaneman]

Re: Police comments.

You know I have to respect cops because even though I consider myself smarter than average I KNOW theres no way I could do the job no matter how hard I tried. When someone can out do me I figure they deserve my respect.

 

[mthieme]

Re: Police comments.

True. I respect the badge.
No one else will stand out in the middle of a busy intersection in the middle of a cold wet night to direct traffic. I've seen more than a couple officers get run over during a traffic stop. And funerals are commonplace.