Post bad jokes here!

[bekosh]

In deference to our overworked, underpaid Mods.
KEEP THEM CLEAN PEOPLE!

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.

What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
Dam!

Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the hell out of the dog.

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes, whack, damn. a bad skydiver goes damn, whack.

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it.

What goes clip, clop, clip, clop, bang, bang, clip, clop, clip, clop?
An amish drive-by shooting

How are a texas tornado and a tennessee divorce the same?
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.

What did the one snowman say to the other snowman?
Smells like carrots.

 

[Pimp Daddy]

Re: Post bad jokes here!

Got this one from my nephew, he was 4 at the time.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

ELEFINO!!

ha ELE- elephant, INO - rhino EL IF I NO!!

Get it uncle Mike?
el if i know??
huh?
get it?
ELE - elephant, INO - rhino EL IF I NO!!

Get it uncle Mike?
huh?
get it?
funny eh?
get it?
EL IF I NO??
get it?

 

[boatradioman]

Re: Post bad jokes here!

why did the chicken cross the road?
to get to the other side

what is the most musical bone?
the Trombone

what do you call a sleeping bull?
a bulldozer

knock,knock.
who's there?
cows go.
cows go who?
no cows go moo

 

[vandy21]

Re: Post bad jokes here!

Two muffins are baking in the oven, one muffin says "its hot in here", the other muffin says "look, a talking muffin!"

Man walks into a bar with a giraffe, both of them drink, and the giraffe passes out on the floor, as the mans walking out of the bar the bartender says "you cant leave that Lyin' (Lion) here, man says it's not a lion...it a giraffe.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree?...Because it was dead

 

[Bob_VT]

Re: Post bad jokes here!

knock,knock.
who's there?
cows go.
cows go who?
no cows go moo

I live next door to a good size dairy farm........

They butter the cows........
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when they are bread!

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: Post bad jokes here!

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Hooker walk into a bar. The Bartender looks up and says........................................................... .
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What is this some kind of joke??

 

[Turin]

Re: Post bad jokes here!

A guy walks in to a bar and orders a beer and a meat ball.
He cuts the ball in four than in eight and starts to stir it in to the beer an than drinks.
after that he orders an other meat ball.
He cuts the ball in four than in eight and starts to stir it in to the bear an than drinks.
than after that one he orders an other meat ball.
He cuts the ball in four than in eight and starts to stir it in to the beer an than drinks

the bar man asks are you working at the postal service.
the man say well how do you now.
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Well its written on your hat.

 

[bekosh]

Re: Post bad jokes here!

A Base, a Snare and a Cymbol fall off a cliff...

*Badum dum tchsss*

 

[cbavier]

Re: Post bad jokes here!

Bought a New Tahoe boat today!
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HA! HA!

 

[bekosh]

Re: Post bad jokes here!

A Guy goes to a bar at the top of a Skyscraper. The man next to him downs a shot, walks over to the railing and jumps off.

The first man is shocked and looks around, only to see unsurprised looks on everyones faces. He shrugs it off until the elevator dings and the same man who jumped off come out and sits next to him.

The shocked man asks the jumper -

"How did you do that?"

"It's the tequila, It makes you bouncy so you don't splat when you hit the ground."

"I'll have to try that." The amazed man downs a shot of tequila and jumps off the roof. SPLAT!

The bartender looks at the first jumper and says

"You're a **** when you're drunk Superman."

 

[eeboater]

Re: Post bad jokes here!

Why can't you you play Uno with a Mexican...

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Because they would keep stealing the Green Cards...

 

[Bob_VT]

Re: Post bad jokes here!

"I'm having trouble with this new hearing aid," said the man to his audiologist.


"Really? Can you describe the symptoms?"


"Sure. Homer is fat and yellow, Marge has blue hair..."

 

[BamaAlum97]

Re: Post bad jokes here!

What's the first thing that goes through a mosquito's mind when it hits a car windshield???




His butt

 

[bekosh]

Re: Post bad jokes here!

A man with a cucumber in his ear, a carrot in his nose, and a tomato in his eye walks into the doctor's office. He says, "Doc, I'm not feeling well. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor says, "First of all, you're not eating right...."

 

[bekosh]

Re: Post bad jokes here!

How do you kill an entire circus at once?

Go for the Juggler!

___________________________________________

Some geometric shapes are having a drink in a bar.

The square says to the circle, "Your round."

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What do you call a man with a Banana in each ear?

Anything you want, he can't hear you!
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A piece of string walks into a bar and says to the bartender "I'll have a beer please".
The bartender looks up and says "..sorry, we don't serve string in here".
So the string leaves and returns the next night and asks "can I have a beer please".
The bartender again refuses to serve the string so the string goes outside and ties himself up and ruffles his hair up and returns to the bar.
"Can I have a beer please" the string asks.
The bartender looks up and says "arent you the piece of string I refused to serve just then?"
The string replies.."no, I'm a frayed knot.".

 

[dave11]

Re: Post bad jokes here!

Bekosh

You are bad.

What is the difference between a fairy tale and a truckers tale?
A fairy tale begins, "Once upon a time."
A truckers tale begins;
"Now, you ain't gonna believe this @#*^!"