Prayers and Thoughts request.

[kenmyfam]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

Thanks so much for all the thoughts, prayers and words everyone.
Shirley has been pretty much the same for the last couple of days but seems to be losing more and more weight. When I move her in her bed to try and make her more comfortable I am becoming afraid of hurting her. Too weak to walk now as well. She knows her time is near and seems to have resigned herself to it. So sad to see and the family are having a rough time right now with it all. A couple of the children are shying away from visiting right now saying that they want to remember her as she was. Remember all of our children are between 23 and 29. Not overly sure quite how to handle this but my feelings are that right now it is all about Shirley and she loves to see them.
Any thoughts on this one ???
Thanks again,
Ken.

 

[hungupthespikes]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

http://crossingthecreek.com/

Try the hospice for a copy, it helps to understand.
prayers

 

[aspeck]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

As much as you want to demand the kids come, you cannot. Each has to deal with this in their own way. However, that does not mean you cannot encourage them and remind them that they will not always have the chance to see her and speak with her, but they will always have the opportunity to remember her as they choose. Remind them that sometimes we have to do the right thing, because it is not always about us and our thoughts and wants, but about the other's thoughts and wants. Do this in a way that you are pointing out Shirley's point of view, not blasting them. Let them know that Shirley loves them, and so do you and Mrs, whatever they choose to do. Also remind them that it would be much easier for you to do the same, but you won't.

Basically try to open their eyes to another side of the equation, but love them unconditionally. It is not about what YOU want, or what will please YOU, but what is best for them (no regrets later on) and for Shirley.

It is a difficult and emotional time for all, and it is natural for even the littlest of things to be magnified, so tread carefully and examine your own motives as well.

 

[Bob_VT]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

It is never easy and there is never a right answer.

All you can do is suggest things to people and I strongly encourage families to face these things as a group which helps everyone involved.

 

[Cofe]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

Very well put Aspeck. My wife is a hospice RN and totally agrees.
My prayers are with your family Ken and Shirley.

 

[southkogs]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

Right on aspeck - All best wishes to you and your family Ken.

 

[kenmyfam]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

Nicly put aspeck and thank you. Great advice.
1 of the uncertain children is actually going to see her tomorrow. No force from our part either. Hope all goes well with it.

 

[LippCJ7]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

Thoughts and Prayers to you and your Family Ken....

 

[veritas honus]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

Kenny,

My thoughts and prayers are for Shirley, for you, and your family.

Continue in your strength for your family. This is the time when they need it dearly. Thoughts filled with strength and perseverance, spoken softly, with a reassuring and tender smile...

Reflection upon the warmth and love shared by your family will help to guide all of you through this rough path. The Good Lord will see you through.

Stay strong, and always... Keep the faith.

 

[kenmyfam]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

Well all the children have been to see her this weekend with the exception of our middle son who is currently working in England. Shirley's brother came down for the weekend as well (5 hour drive) and he is 85 years old. Some of her friends came over to visit as well. We have spent a lot of the weekend there as well. We have been told there will be a hospice place available in the next few days. Mrs Ken is doing as well as can be expected right now. Shirley has been in pretty good spirits all weekend but her appetite is slipping daily and she is continuing to lose weight. her care worker was there this evening and told us to expect a decline this week after she has seen so many friends and family and may now be "at peace" with things.
Will keep you posted and once again a Huge Thank You to everyone here for the caring and support. You are all helping me to remain "The strong one" right now for our family.
Ken

 

[DECK SWABBER 58]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

May you all be blessed with peace and strength at this most difficult time.

 

[Eric 3.7LX Alpha 1]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

May you all be blessed with peace and strength at this most difficult time.

X2

This is the absolutely hardest thing that a person can go through in life, and I don't wish it on my worse enemy. I have also been there with a loved one, and can say I and the Mrs. are also praying for you and your family during this extremely tought time in life. It's gets to a point where you just want the person to not suffer any longer, and is a relief eventually.

Good Luck!!!

 

[sasto]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

 

[southkogs]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

...she has seen so many friends and family and may now be "at peace" with things...

Few people manage to reach that point of being "at peace." I'm glad to see you write that - I hope it's a comfort to all of you. Best hopes and continued prayers.

 

[kenmyfam]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

Shirley was moved to the hospice yesterday around lunchtime. never been there before but it is very impressive and not at all hospital like. extremely nice staff and volunteers, 24 hour visiting and full facilities for family to stay as well. (showers, sofa beds etc)
We will all be pretty much "camped" there over the weekend.
She is still getting weaker although all your wishes and prayers are giving us strength at this end.
Ken.

 

[Brent S]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

Thoughts and prayers continue Ken

 

[ezmobee]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

Shirley was moved to the hospice yesterday around lunchtime. never been there before but it is very impressive and not at all hospital like. extremely nice staff and volunteers, 24 hour visiting and full facilities for family to stay as well. (showers, sofa beds etc)

My grandfather stayed at a hospice facility prior to his passing. It was an amazing place filled with amazing people. The nurses didn't wear scrubs, they wore normal clothes. Every effort was made to make it less-hospital-ly. They were even baking cookies in the kitchen there like every day.

 

[Triton II]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

Glad to hear that the hospice is such a great place - best wishes to you all Ken and family.

TII

 

[kenmyfam]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

Not been out here for a while. Spending most of our not at work time at the hospice. Shirley is getting weaker by the day, eating little to nothing and is wasting away. Can't see it being much longer to be honest and with how she is it will be a blessing for her when the time comes. Mrs Ken is having a hard time with it the last few days but I am doing what I can.
Thanks again for reading and listening.
Ken.

 

[southkogs]

Re: Prayers and Thoughts request.

Still watching the thread and thinking about your family. Praying for you and wishing the best.