Holdimhook
Chief Petty Officer
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2005
- Messages
- 648
Thought I'd share this one with you all:<br /><br /> <br />Valentines, Redneck Style <br /><br />Kudzu is green, my dog's name is Blue<br />And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.<br /><br />Yore hair is like cornsilk, a-flapping in the breeze.<br />Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.<br /><br />You move like the bass, which excite me in May.<br />You ain't got no scales, but I luv you anyway.<br /><br />You're as graceful as okry, jist a-dancin' in the pan.<br />Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop right out of the can.<br /><br />You have all yore teeth, for which I am proud;<br />I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.<br /><br />On special occasions, when you shave yore armpits,<br />Well, I'm in hawg heaven, I'm plumb outta my wits.<br /><br />And speakin' of wits, you've got plenty fer shore.<br />'Cuz you married me back in '74.<br /><br />Still them fellers at work they all want to know,<br />What I did to deserve such a purty, young doe.<br /><br />Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore man,<br />To patch up life's troubles and stick 'em in the can.<br /><br />Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler racin' through the mud,<br />Yet fragile as that sanger named Naomi Judd.<br /><br />Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.<br />You ain't mean like no far ant upon which I oft' tread.<br /><br />Cut from the best pattern like a flannel shirt of plaid,<br />You sparked up my life like a Rattletrap shad.<br /><br />When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,<br />My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.<br /><br />Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.<br />Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.<br /><br />And when you get old like a '57 Chevy,<br />Won't put you on blocks and let grass grow up heavy.<br /><br />Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie, with a RC cold drank,<br />We go together like a skunk goes with stank.<br /><br />Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;<br />They git it at Wal-Mart; It's romantic that way.<br /><br />Some men git roses on that special day,<br />From the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say.<br /><br />Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.<br />"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.<br /><br />But for this man, honey, these will not do.<br />For you are too special, you sweet thang you.<br /><br />I got you a gift, without taste nor odour,<br />Better than diamonds, it's a new trollin' motor.
