Teens and Parents

bass buster

Seaman
Joined
May 19, 2007
Messages
65
Re: Teens and Parents

However what is being said,,,,,,,,,,the parent is not responsible? I'm sorry but I stick to my guns on this point. Anyone under the age of 18 is and always will be the parents responsibility. They should always know what their teen is up to.


Another point involving the parents responsibility,,,,,If your teen skips school and is truant,,,,,In Ohio the parent goes to jail.

Yeah, I agee also a dog doesn't know better, but someone driving a vehicle that involves the lives of others on the road SHOULD know better. After all they are or surposed to be a civilized human and understand.

I'm not offended by any negative comments providing it does not contain any name calling.

I'm not asking for any new laws, just wishing parents would take more responsibility of making sure what their teens are doing what is asked of them.

sorry to hear of your friends loss, SS.
Losing a child is the hardest, followed by losing your spouse, in my opinion.

I'm a single dad, and I will say, that it is nearly impossible to know what your teen is up to, all the time.

You can be the best parent in the world, and still these kids will go out in the world and screw up. Hard lessons learned for them, sometimes a good thing though.

Here in the Milwaukee, WI area, the parent is held accountable for a truant kid. We can get a $400 fine. I don't think this is right. Why is it my fault, as a parent, that my kid decided to skip school, after i dropped him or her off at the front door? I did my part, and made sure they got to school. Its not fair.

I don't have this dilemma, but I almost did once. I just don't think its right

I've seen a lot of tragedy on the road, as I'm a truck driver. I drive big rigs for a living. It always saddens me to see these stories of young drivers.

What I want to say, from a drivers point of view, is that many younger drivers are very irresponsible. They think they are larger than life, and take many risks. I hope your friend doesn't feel completely responsible, as sad as it is.
Also, it seems as if everyone is in a hurry, and thats when accidents happen. Doesn't matter if you are young or old. I could go on and on about safe driving, but I just wanted to say, that this is a tragedy that most likely could have been prevented.
 

Pony

Rear Admiral
Joined
Jun 27, 2004
Messages
4,355
Re: Teens and Parents

You can write a thousand laws, but they arent going to mean squat if the kids arent going to follow them. The parents can't be there to hold their hands 24/7. At 16 you are allowed to drive, and as such are expected to have a level of maturity and common sense........and independence. IMHO, parents arent responsible for the misuse of that independence unless they are witnessing it and not stopping it. You have to draw the line somewhere..............at some point people need to be responsible for their own actions.
 

Boomyal

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Aug 16, 2003
Messages
12,072
Re: Teens and Parents

There was an accident involving a son of one of my friends. He WAS 18 and riding one of the fastest production bikes available. It was bought for him as a graduation present.

Last week he was doing 80 in a 35 and ran into the back of a pickup that was turning. He did have a helmet on,,,,,but his head was nothing but mush after the impact. He died shortly afterwards at the hospital.

Now my bud is hating himself for buying more of a machine than his son could handle. Yep,,,I agree with that. I just can't understand why parents want to buy a status symbol for their teens that do not have the experience to operate them.

At least Ohio is trying to curb the accident rate. Now only one non-family member can ride in the car that is a teen. No teen can operate a motor vehicle with other teens in it. With this new law, insurance rates are dropping.

I think the next should be a limit on the amount of horsepower of the vehicle that they are driving. I was a teen once like everyone else and I know when I was away from mom and pop,,,,,,all their rules was out the window. I was lucky that all the dumb stupid things I did,,,,,,,,I survived unlike many others.

My suggestion is,,,,,if you love your teen,,,,,Don't buy them something that they will kill themselves in. I would almost call that child endangering when they do. Please think about this when your in the process of buying your teen some transportation.

Unfortunately parents are using less and less common sense, so the State has to step into the vacumm. It's sad when something like this happens but he is right in hating himself.
 

Boomyal

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Aug 16, 2003
Messages
12,072
Re: Teens and Parents

.....Here in the Milwaukee, WI area, the parent is held accountable for a truant kid. We can get a $400 fine. I don't think this is right. Why is it my fault, as a parent, that my kid decided to skip school, after i dropped him or her off at the front door? I did my part, and made sure they got to school. Its not fair.

The statement above illustrates the state of affairs with many of today's children. If a parent will not take the responsibility of a child, what do you expect? Easy enough to say, 'I did my best' then just pass it off to your neighbors. (aka, Hillary's village):(
 

bruceb58

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Mar 5, 2006
Messages
30,582
Re: Teens and Parents

When I went to college andneeded a car to commute in, my parents bought me a slow Volvo...best car they could have bought for me!
 

SS MAYFLOAT

Admiral
Joined
May 17, 2001
Messages
6,372
Re: Teens and Parents

In regards to new vs old vehicle, some say the accident would have been the same. I don't think so. For a teen having a bright new impressive machine means they have to show it off.

Jake finished school just one week prior to getting his new bike. Jake had dirt bikes from the time he was 10 and rode in many competitions. So riding was not new to him. From the time he turned 16, he hounded his dad for a street bike. Dad told him that if he finished school in the top 10% of his class that he would get him a brand new bike for his graduation present. Jake went those two years pushing himself to get good grades to get that bike of his dreams. Yep, he got it and one week later and the accident happens. Prior to this street bike, Jake did buy on his own an old steet bike. It was an old 350 Honda Scrambler. He got his license on it, rode it everywhere without an incident. He appeared to be experienced enough and trustworthy enough for the new machine.

A teen with a fast new toy will show off. Especially if it is brand new and the envy of all his piers. That is what took Jakes life, the presence of other teens edging him on to show them what it could do. Well,,,,,,they found out they may have pushed him over the edge.

At the funeral there were a large number of his classmates. Several came up to his dad and told him what happened that night. They pretty much said that they dared him to do stuff on his new bike. Apparently the dare went too far.

Jakes dad is really having a hard time handling this ordeal. Went to visit last night and there he sat with an unopened bottle of Jack and a glass. I hope tonight when I go visit, it is still unopened. He is a recovering alcoholic of 20 years. He gave it up when his daughter that is 2 years older than Jake came into the world. His wife is tore up as well. She wants to beat the heck out of her husband for getting the bike and has even threatened to leave him. How something like this can affect the whole family and friends is unbelievable.
 

dirtyoldman

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Apr 30, 2007
Messages
359
Re: Teens and Parents

Mayfloat, I did that stupid stuff in the old station wagon. It was the full size version with the 302. Not too big, eut enough to get in trouble. I thik there are benefits to a new car, like more safety features, and benefits to an old car as well, like what you mentioned.

Of course you don't know where kids are or what they are doing. But if they're with good kids the stupid stuff they do isn't as bad as the stupid stuff bad kids do.

I looked at the pictures on that article before I read it. As soon as I saw the picture of the girl driving, my first thought was maybe drugs were involved. Looks like I was right. Fair?? NO!! But this is necessary. My parents never would have let me hang out with a kid that looked and dressed like that. Some of my friends dabbled in drugs, but it wasn't with our group, it was when hanging out with other kids (many of whom looked like that girl).

This was all ten years ago. At the time I didn't understand, but now I do. I guess I turned into my dad after all.
 

Mark42

Fleet Admiral
Joined
Oct 8, 2003
Messages
9,334
Re: Teens and Parents

My oldest has his permit, and at 17, he can get his lisence. His driving stinks. He weaves, is distracted by the slightest thing, and has a hard time keeping the car in the lane. he likes to speed, go full throttle up hills ("just to see what the car can do").

Thats why he drives a beater Ford Taurus Wagon. He wanted to sell it and get a "cool" car like a Honda or Toyota. But we said no, has has to drive the beater. He has to pay his insurance, gas and repairs. If he can't pay, he can't drive.

Hopefully, he will mature soon and see the errors of his ways. But I doubt it.
 

Haut Medoc

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Jun 29, 2004
Messages
10,645
Re: Teens and Parents

My oldest has his permit, and at 17, he can get his lisence. His driving stinks. He weaves, is distracted by the slightest thing, and has a hard time keeping the car in the lane. he likes to speed, go full throttle up hills ("just to see what the car can do").

Thats why he drives a beater Ford Taurus Wagon. He wanted to sell it and get a "cool" car like a Honda or Toyota. But we said no, has has to drive the beater. He has to pay his insurance, gas and repairs. If he can't pay, he can't drive.

Hopefully, he will mature soon and see the errors of his ways. But I doubt it.
In NJ, that will keep him from buying a new car by it$elf!.....;)
 

Mark42

Fleet Admiral
Joined
Oct 8, 2003
Messages
9,334
Re: Teens and Parents

In NJ, it all depends on where you live and what you drive. For a new driver, he will only be paying about $800 a year. Thats because we live in rural area. Move 30 miles east, and it jumps to $2200 for that same beater.

It pays to live in the country.
 

welovetoboat

Cadet
Joined
Jun 3, 2007
Messages
23
Re: Teens and Parents

My sympathies to the family. I have a son who will be turning 18 in a few months. Wants to trade his 4 cylinder Mits (more than enough power at stock) for a crotch rocket.... Mom says NO WAY NO HOW.... I will not be responsible for my son killing himself. Had two brothers killed in different accidents (one at 17 and one at 41). DON'T want to see the same thing happen to my kid. He has already had 1 small fender bender ( 1 week after he got his DL) and 1 speeding ticket. On probation for about 4 more months ( 1 year total). Definitely not responsible or experienced enough for a motorcycle. JUST SAY NO and don't give in. They may be mad at first. But in the end.... They will be glad you saved thier life .....
 

licketdsplit756

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Jun 15, 2007
Messages
318
Re: Teens and Parents

facing the facts here if we all take a good look inside atdelves. theres not a one of us who when growing up didnt make bad decisions...my god i wasent no angel. the most important thing to remember is that making mistakes is gonna be part of are lives till the day we die. wheather we learn from these mistakes. is the question.my grandson stole something from the store. class d felony. said im sorry garmps..i talked to him for a hour. ask have you learned its not worth it. he stole my wallete since then and got caught car jacking 3 weeks ago..now its 2 class d felonies. and he is out of my home. word of advice if your truly sorry. dont lie about it. now not only due you loose your trust. but your injtegrity to. i see kids die everyday. come from the best homes. that 20 you just gave that kid for the movies is gonna be beer before the end of the night.you should have handed them a gun. and said go play russin rulet.not true in all cases but id say 80%. i was a teenager to.
 
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