Thursday Funny

SpinnerBait_Nut

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
Joined
Aug 25, 2002
Messages
17,651
The Geriatric Alphabet​
A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

A's for arthritis;
B's the bad back,
C's the chest pains,
perhaps car-d-iac?

D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.

H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
I is for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L is for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!

P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus; there's bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.

W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y is another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest that I still have -- in my mind.

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
And I am keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!!!:eek::eek:
 

achris

More fish than mountain goat
Joined
May 19, 2004
Messages
27,468
Re: Thursday Funny

Here's my alternative...... :D

A is for adrenaline, I need plenty
B is for boating, been doing it since 20
C is for carving, the mountain?s call
D is for diving, shouldn?t we all

E is for energy, the more I do the more I get
F is for fun, no way I?m going to fret
G is for golf, a game not for all
H is for high, I like mine natural

I is for instruction, I?m still learning
J is for jumping when I am skiing
K is for kilos, hopefully they're being shed
L is for lunch, the best way to be fed

M is for mothers needed by all
N is for ?no regrets?, no fun without a fall
O is for outdoors, the best place to be
P is for party, and I don?t charge a fee

Q is for quick the best way to get from top to bottom
R is for reef, to see nature?s wonders that aren?t all rotten
S is for sex that?s what life is for
T is for time, I need so much more

U is for underwater, that?s where you?ll find me
V is for versatile, I don?t know any other way to be
W is for wife, the love of my life, it's true
X is for x-rays, I've had quite a few

Y is for ye har! Don?t get into too much strife
Z is for zest, I still enjoy my life


Chris..............
 
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