Did I do the right thing?

[JDP]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

I have to agree with Thad. If more people were willing to standup to these type of people they would probably be less likely to do it again. We can just hope that maybe this lady will realize that she deserves better and will leave this guy and never look back.

 

[jay_merrill]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

I once sat in a court room in a small Louisiana city, waiting to plead not-guilty of a traffic citation, because the traffic court was held in the same room as their criminal cases were.

We were told by the baliff to sit in the jury and audience seats quietly, while a trial was held on a domestic abuse case. The guy being prosecuted, had been found guilty of beating his wife once before, so this was a second offense case. Given that in most situations, these guys have been beating the wife for some time before they ever end up in court for it, the reality of it was most likely that the woman involved had been a victim for a long time.

The guy got a one year probation and a $100 fine.

I was in court for the alleged "crime" of running a red light. The fine for the offense was $160 and I had to put that amount up as a bond, in order to plead "not guilty." I was told that if I could not post the bond in cash, I would be put in jail, pending trial. While I had called ahead and knew about this "little requirement," I found the whole situation to be pretty disgusting.

I ended up winning my case, because the traffic light was out of time and I knew that, but I couldn't help but think about what I had both witnessed and had been subjected to - in Houma, Louisiana, you have to pay $160 to stay out of jail over a bogus traffic ticket, but you can beat your wife for 100 bucks.

Gee, I wonder why this problem never seems to be resolved.

.
.
.
.
.
.

NOT!

 

[TilliamWe]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

turbo, you did everything I would have done, except hit the guy. But that's because I am not a strong puncher, i'm a much stronger talker, I would have tried to talk my way out of it.
If I had witnessed the events, exactly as you describe, I would have backed you and your actions to the hilt to the police, and in the civil trial, when the guy sues you for bodily harm. Best of luck to you.

 

[jonesg]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

some women are real skilled at winding idiot guys up,
so good they don't even notice they are doing it.
Everyone says oh look at the poor beaten woman.
She gets divorced and finds another idiot to beat her.
Its a syndrome.

If it was a strange woman, unknown to the man, I'd get involved immediately.
If it was a child, I'm there.

But in those situations you could be fooling yourself.
And yeh, like someone said, he could have a gun...and she could be the one who shoots you. It happens. You can't dream this stuff up, real life is more bizaare than fiction.

 

[Mark42]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Good for you!

.... He makes a B line for me and Its not secret this guy wants to fight. I think great here we go and waited for him to throw a punch and laid one on him. He was out and I grabbed my phone and called 911....

Why punch him? No pipe, bat, knife or gun to use?

 

[LadyFish]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

It's nice to know that of chivalry is not dead. You have great instincts to defend and protect the weaker.

You showed true herosim by putting your life on the line for a complete stranger. Not everyone has that in them.

Kudos!

 

[Tabes117]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Great Job!!!!! Be careful. I was first on scene of domestic, saw guy whipping wife with a belt. While I was trying to arrest the guy, his wife jumps me!!

 

[Andy in NY]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

In this sue happy world, I wouldn't have gotten involved. If he was beating her in public I would have simply called the cops.

Think of it like this.... what if you hit the guy and he fell back and broke his neck. Now he's in a wheelchair and looking for a paycheck.... see where this is going?

alot of states have laws regarding this. example, when i was a dj at a nightclub, one of the bouncers got into an after hours fight off premesis. someone was causing trouble at the pizza place next door and he stepped in. when the guy hit him he hit back, and the guy fell and split his head open. he tried to sue, and they ruled that the injury was not the direct intention of the other guy and was an unfortunate by product.

 

[slia67]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Turbo,

IMHO I think you did the only thing a Man should have done, protected the woman. Just because you stepped between the two, it still required him to throw the punch.

It probably would have hard for me to not start showing him the beating that his wife/girlfriend had been on the receiving end of.

i would add to this;

are you now going to be around to protect her when he gets home and beats the **** out of her again? no matter what you say i sure in his mind this is yours and her fault

did the thought ever cross any ones mind you could have made a bad situation worse?

Yes, I read your follow-up posts. But what would you have done? stood by while she got smacked around? pulled out your cell phone and started video taping?

Most of these women have been abused for a long time, verbally and somtimes physically. If (and usually when) it does become physical abuse, they have been led to believe the abuse is deserved or somehow their fault.

If you haven't noticed yet, I have no place in this world for either wife-beaters or child abusers. NONE!


OK, rant over. (steps off his soap-box)

 

[jaxnjil]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Turbo,

IMHO I think you did the only thing a Man should have done, protected the woman. Just because you stepped between the two, it still required him to throw the punch.

It probably would have hard for me to not start showing him the beating that his wife/girlfriend had been on the receiving end of.



Yes, I read your follow-up posts. But what would you have done? stood by while she got smacked around? pulled out your cell phone and started video taping?

Most of these women have been abused for a long time, verbally and somtimes physically. If (and usually when) it does become physical abuse, they have been led to believe the abuse is deserved or somehow their fault.

If you haven't noticed yet, I have no place in this world for either wife-beaters or child abusers. NONE!


OK, rant over. (steps off his soap-box)

as you ask i'll answer. i would have kept my hands to my self and dialed 911 first. rather than sucker punch the guy. while waiting for them i would have done my level best to cool the fellow down out of respect to HER REPEAT HER and done my best considering the fact she was already a victim, and at best embarrassed, and at worse in line for physical harm from him. i would have stayed as far away form him while getting as close to her as possible and tried to get her to my vehicle and away from him

any one can take a bad situation and make it worse
my dad drilled in my head back when i was kid - make dam sure if your going to do something make it better. if you cant dont make it worse

 

[Tubingluvr]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

I would have done the same thing, and I have raised my kids this way.
My son was a junior in high school he found out a girl had been getting beat regularly by her brother.
And I don't mean the usual sibling fighting, I mean down right kicking the **** out of her.
So my son returns the favor because of what he has been taught.
He gets expelled from school for a week, charged with assault, put on probation and I have to pay court fines.
However if it had been me I would have done the same thing.

 

[BoatBuoy]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

So my son returns the favor because of what he has been taught.

So you're teaching your son to ignore the rule of law and take situations into his own hands? I'm sure this won't be his last arrest.

 

[cheburashka]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

So you're teaching your son to ignore the rule of law and take situations into his own hands? I'm sure this won't be his last arrest.

Agreed. Most people who abuse are doing what's referred to as "passing on the pain." In most cases they themselves were abused. If you beat this kid up, I can guarantee he won't go easier on his sister. More likely, he'll punish her for the beating he got.

 

[QC]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

We still need to stand up to Bullies . . . I agree, there is a thin line. I intervened when I saw a woman hitting her 3ish YO with a shoe. I didn't hit anybody, but I told her to stop. Always figured that she took it out on the kid later and that still bothers me. But we cannot simply turn our heads to evil. Doing nothing is worse than the alternative which is actually doing something. May seem different when the victim is a 3 YO, but why?

 

[j_martin]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Agreed. Most people who abuse are doing what's referred to as "passing on the pain." In most cases they themselves were abused. If you beat this kid up, I can guarantee he won't go easier on his sister. More likely, he'll punish her for the beating he got.

Back when common sense, instead of psychobabble ruled, someone who attacked a girl, or a child, generally immediately got the crap beat out of him. Coupla of beatings, and there's no more crap. Problem solved.

Now, with the victimization of the lawless, the circle is endless.

If one of those circles comes my way, I'll do my best to end it right there.

nuff said
John

 

[cheburashka]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Back when common sense, instead of psychobabble ruled, someone who attacked a girl, or a child, generally immediately got the crap beat out of him. Coupla of beatings, and there's no more crap. Problem solved.


John

Nice word there, psychobabble. I see the same kind of thing in the tech forums. Someone doesn't like the advice that they get from an expert so they just call them a name and go on doing things the wrong way. It never works out for them, but they feel like they're doing the right thing.

Tell me--if a person gets their kicks beating a woman in the privacy of their own home, how is your beating the crap out of them in public going to solve the problem? It's a quick fix for you, since you feel like the problem is solved. In the end though, it's the woman getting beaten up who will end up suffering. That's just common sense.

My wife worked as a domestic violence educator and counselor for years. She'll tell you the same thing, and she's no psychologist. Just someone who has seen the effects of bullying people and beating the crap out of them. I wish there were a quick fix for problems like this, but there isn't.

 

[TilliamWe]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

A swift kick in the *** can quickly solve a lot of problems. Not all of them, especially not complex behaviors, but it's an effective tool. But it's the person that delivers the *** kicking that's more important. If the *** kicker is a person of authority to the *** kickee, then it will be effective.
Our original poster probably did not solve this woman's overall dilemna, but he stopped a bad situation. For that, I have said, he did the right thing. And I would back him up on that.

 

[j_martin]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Nice word there, psychobabble. I see the same kind of thing in the tech forums. Someone doesn't like the advice that they get from an expert so they just call them a name and go on doing things the wrong way. It never works out for them, but they feel like they're doing the right thing.

Tell me--if a person gets their kicks beating a woman in the privacy of their own home, how is your beating the crap out of them in public going to solve the problem? It's a quick fix for you, since you feel like the problem is solved. In the end though, it's the woman getting beaten up who will end up suffering. That's just common sense.

My wife worked as a domestic violence educator and counselor for years. She'll tell you the same thing, and she's no psychologist. Just someone who has seen the effects of bullying people and beating the crap out of them. I wish there were a quick fix for problems like this, but there isn't.

It's pretty hard these days to instill common sense by any means. There's always somebody educated way beyond reason, taught a whole bunch of conflicting unproven theories, all as "science", that will molycoddle the errant one and convince him that his bad behavior is somebody elses fault.

It defies common sense, and it defies common law, which is based on common sense.

Sorry if you consider the word name calling. It's derived from
Psycho from psychology, and
Babble ... what psychological theory sounds like when compared to common sense.

BTW, I am an old phart now, but I once was a cocky, smart alec, abusive young man. Someone who I will always be thankful for beat the crap out of me one day, and while he had my attention explained to me my errant ways, and offered that he was willing to administer another lesson if needed. Seaman Apprentice JM straighted out right away.

my 02
John

 

[Tubingluvr]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

Agreed. Most people who abuse are doing what's referred to as "passing on the pain." In most cases they themselves were abused. If you beat this kid up, I can guarantee he won't go easier on his sister. More likely, he'll punish her for the beating he got.

Actually this brought light to the situation and protective services intervened.

My kids have been taught to not start fights, but if someone else starts it, to be sure and finish it.

Also they have been taught to stick up for the defenseless especially females being beat by males.

 

[reelfishin]

Re: Did I do the right thing?

I would have done the same thing, and I have raised my kids this way.
My son was a junior in high school he found out a girl had been getting beat regularly by her brother.
And I don't mean the usual sibling fighting, I mean down right kicking the **** out of her.
So my son returns the favor because of what he has been taught.
He gets expelled from school for a week, charged with assault, put on probation and I have to pay court fines.
However if it had been me I would have done the same thing.

I have to agree with you there, sometimes a good whooping is all that works.
If they don't learn with the first one, keep it up, sooner or later they get the message. Sometimes the dumber ones take a few good beatings before they learn.