Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

[riptide09]

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

The computer barfed and I just lost my rather long response. I am meeting his parents at 8:00 to get the motor back. I will retype and post my response that was lost later.

 

[rogerwa]

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

No good deed goes unpunished. I would have apologized for this becoming an issue and would let them drop it off. Also let them know it is there if they change their mind. They can have a bird but it doesn't mean everyone has to.

AS a father of three boys (and a girl), I would not let them spend a lot of time with an older male unless I knew that person well.. Though it doesn't sound like tht is the issue as they have not gotten mad about that. It is the motor.

 

[mnypitboat]

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

No good deed goes unpunished. I would have apologized for this becoming an issue and would let them drop it off. Also let them know it is there if they change their mind. They can have a bird but it doesn't mean everyone has to.

AS a father of three boys (and a girl), I would not let them spend a lot of time with an older male unless I knew that person well.. Though it doesn't sound like tht is the issue as they have not gotten mad about that. It is the motor.

It sounds like he has tried over and over to meet and get to know the parents. Teenagers look for a mentor naturally. If the parents refuse to get to know the people that the kid chooses to befriend, then I am not sure what else he can do.

That being said. I agree with the idea of being very cordial and letting them know you are there to get to know them, and the engine is there if they change their minds.

I dont have a boy. I have a 12 year old girl. I can see some skepticism about a young boy hanging out with a grown man. However, it sounds like you have done what you can to ease their minds. It is now the parents responsibility to follow through.

Look at this as an opportunity to get to know the parents. Maybe this will end up being a good thing, and force the parents to talk to you and maybe get to know you. I sincerely hope that is what happens.

 

[puddle jumper]

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

I have to agrea with JB. I have a 14 year old and if he were going over to a persons house that I didnt know and was reseiving gifts. Yup I would be mad also. Just way to many bad people out there.

 

[DanMC]

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

There is kid in high school who lives around the corner. He is always bringing around his mechanical contraptions to see if I can help him fix them. He has been doing this since he was around 8 years old or so. He is a pretty good mechanic and I have been glad to teach him over the years. He loves going out on the boat but his parents won't let him go a lot. They think there is something wrong with a kid hanging around with a 50 year old. I invite them to come but they always turn me down.

He came over last night with this rubber boat he got from a friend of a friend for $80. It is a small rubber boat with a wood transom like the ones sold by Bass Pro shops or West Marine. It is designed to take a small outboard (up to 4 HP) or electric trolling motor. We blew it up and it seems to be fine and hold air with no problems. It needs a lot of cleaning but looks like a good solid little boat.

He had no motor. I had a mid 80s air cooled Sears Gamefisher outboard. 1.75 HP. It was a backup motor for an old fishing boat I had. Sounds like a chain saw when it runs so I never used it and it has maybe 10 hours on it. It has been stored in my attic for at least 10 years. I dug it out and we got it running. Started real easy and sounds good. Since I never use it I gave it to him. Why not? I thought it would be cool to help him out and get him started in boating.

His parents called me tonight and went ballistic. They said I was wrong and should have asked them first. They told me I need to come get the motor back, that he can't have it. No matter what I said they would not change their mind. I told them I was busy and could not make it tonight. What to do? I don't want the motor back. I gave it to him. I can't believe these people.

Hi and i hope you don't take this as an offence...but just maybe...just maybe ...kids parents may think you're a querr...i mean no offence buddy .
Dan

 

[stackz]

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

update?

 

[Mel Taylor]

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

From the context of your message it appears to me that you may have already known that the kid's parents do not approve of your friendship with him. If that's the case, why are you encouraging him to go against his parent's wishes? After all, he is a minor and they are his parents. They are the ones who should be deciding where he goes, what he does and who he associates with. Maybe there are other issues at play here that you are not aware of. Such as unfinished school work or discipline issues at home. Or maybe they just plain think he is too young to be boating by himself. Whatever is going on between him and his parents, they are (or should be) the ones in charge of him and, IMO, you should respect that fact.

 

[cgd7777777]

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

Some parents are just weird and want to controll the world!
that should be thankfull that somebody is actually teaching their son something....if they did't like him going over there they should have stopped it at 8!
I hate seeing teenage boys that are useless..just means they will be useless men and they have to be to taught! by somebody

 

[WIMUSKY]

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

Still no update??? FWIW, I agree with everyone about getting it back. They are the parents afterall... Aspeck, 50 year olds are weird, ask my daughter... Check that, don't ask, it would be too creepy.......

 

[itsaboattime]

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

A few years ago my youngest boy came home with an old Honda scooter, from like 1979. He said an old guy who lived in town had given it to him. I told him he had to give it back. He wasn't very happy about it but two days later we(he and I) wheeled it back to this man's home. Now after meeting the guy and actually getting to know him I realized that my son stood a chance to learn some things from this guy that I couldn't teach him.
What he an I worked out is that my son would ask me when he could go over there and let me know what they would be working on and when he would need a ride home.
I guess what I am saying is I took the initiative to open the lines of communication with the older gentleman and see for myself if there was any threat or danger to my son.
All it took was an open mind and a little initiative.
I am not pointing any fingers here, but the young generally learn from the old(er). You should have asked his parents about the outboard, but, they should have had enough of an open mind to check the situation out and clue you in as to why they have issues with their son hangin out with you.

 

[25thmustang]

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

I do side with the parents a bit here. I could imagine having a high school aged kid, and him coming home one day with a boat motor given to him by someone else. It sounds as though they are not boat people, and the thought of their son having a boat, and now a motorboat, is scary to them. This is a message board full of boat people, but I find the majority of society are far from the same. If I walked down my street, I'm willing to bet maybe 25% would be considered "boat people" and thats being generous. The rest would probably not have a clue about them, and with that comes a fear of the unknown.

Have you tried to befriend them other than asking them to go out on the boat? Have you offered them to come over for a BBQ, dinner, drinks etc? I'm not a parent, but I can see their side of it, as well as yours. You did a good thing, and sound like your doing good with the kid, but the parents have their side that you/we may never know.

BTW, how old is the kid? High school age can mean anything from as young as 13, to as old as 18.

 

[HT32BSX115]

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

Hmm..


Back when I was about 14 or so, (in the 60's) the neighbor a couple of doors down gave me a (1950's) 4hp Lauson air-cooled outboard motor.


It didn't run and I was able to replace what it needed and get it running.....I LOVED that little motor!!! (AND I wish I had it back!!)


AND I Worshipped this guy!! Both my Mom and Dad knew him and he his wife and 2 teenage daughters were friends of the family.

This could be different in that maybe the parents don't know you all that well... (but you've known them (him) since he was 8 and now he's HS age? 15-18?)

Maybe there's something I'm missing here, but I think his parents are a little over the top. (maybe they're against 2-stroke carbed engines!!)

 

[Fishing Dude too]

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

It may be a perception that this had a high value item, that could be what made them react the way thy did. The way I look at it if I want rid of somthing it has a low value because I just want to get rid of it. If you would have old it to him for lets say $10.00 they may not have had a problem with it because it had a value then that they could understand.