Ted,
I am willing to bet its not a capacity issue or environment issue. however that its an arc-flash contact burn issue.
we have 250 amp contactors that were taken out with two 12 amp motors because of arc flashing over the contacts after about 300 cycles during a endurance test.
this problem went away with the addition of the TVS
we literally just cleaned up the contacts with 400 grit, put the contactors back together and have now used them for well over 40,000 cycles with the TVS
here is a common 20 amp reversing switch operating a linear actuator that draws 6 amps at full load. the contacts arc flashed over, the one connection got hot and the switch failed.
pull the cover off your relay, look at the contacts. I will bet a really good chocolate stout that the contacts are simply arced over.