Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

[ne7800]

This July 8th would have been our 10th anniversary. About 6 weeks ago she says "we need to talk" it was nothing major just some stuff that was bothering her so i said ok, as long as we are talking about stuff that is bothering us! Our talking led in to arguing that led in to fighting that led in to things being said that shouldn't have by both of us, any way the long and the short of it is, she packed her stuff (and half of mine) and mover back 2 her moms (by the way I think her mom just might be the devil ). However it seams i am the opposite of every country song, I get to keep my house, dog, truck, camper, and boat. For now at least

 

[kenmyfam]

Re: Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

Question of time. Saw everything in half to be ready !!!!
Seriously though, go have a good long and honest talk with her. See how things go. Do not let it get into an argument. Stay calm even though you might hear things you do not want to. Don't just show up though. Call first.
Best wishes to you both.
Ken.

 

[kenmyfam]

Re: Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

On another note.....Mother in Law's always side with the daughter no matter what. She is just doing her job !!!!

 

[SS MAYFLOAT]

Re: Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

Bummer, sorry to hear that. Reminds me of my 3rd "X". She liked to fight all the time. After 10 years, she went out with friends dancing. Calls me at 2:30 in the morning and says she is not coming home anymore. I said "OK" and hung up. Got an attorney the next day, I got everything including the 2 kids. Two months it was final. All she could say was "I didn't think you would file".........hehehe.....I think my prayers were answered

 

[Bifflefan]

Re: Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

Not to add to your delima but,

File First!!! It will help.

Then plan a Bachelor party.

Best of luck to you..

 

[aspeck]

Re: Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

Do you still love her? Do you remember why you loved her in the first place? Then don't give up ... forget the cruel things she said and apologize for the cruel things you said. Don't give up without a fight.

I think if you asked JB he would tell you what it means to lose the love of your life. Seems pretty quick for both of you to throwing in the towel ... suggest counseling to her, whatever it takes.

 

[ne7800]

Re: Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

not sure if she filed yet but she did fill out the papers, she let me look them over to make sure we both agreed with them, i think its actually been a while coming

 

[Pierutrus]

Re: Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

Take this with a grain of salt.........
That being said, I'm working on my third ex Mrs.......I got lucky with the first 2!
The first two, I was young and didn't really have much at the time. Now this time, we've been together for 10 years or so, married for 6. In the last 15 years, I've made some........Lets just say, I've made some good investments.....
Yea, that's how you say it! Well she knows it. And she knows, if and when she leaves, she will not have this lifestyle. So she wants to make sure she takes OUR lifestyle with her.

Still working on my situation.
Good luck with yours:redface:

Again, take this with a grain of salt/thought!!!!!!

 

[rbh]

Re: Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

How does that song go??? OH YEA
it's a lot cheaper to luv her than to leave her.
just keep your stick on the ice.

 

[npd4432]

Re: Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

On another note.....Mother in Law's always side with the daughter no matter what. She is just doing her job !!!!

On that note Ken, my mother in law sides with me most of the time when her daughter (my wife) is wrong and she knows it. My father in law always agrees with me. I guess I am in the lower 1% of things.

NE, in your situation and me not knowing all the facts, it seems like she set you up for the talk and then inflamed things to blame you for the fight, when she wanted to leave all along.

 

[ftl900]

Re: Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

Perhaps so, but a few weeks ago, I was in the hospital for a week, and as much as we had been fighting off and on (10 years of marriage), she realized how empty her life was when I wasn't around, and how much she took me for granted. Actually told me how much she missed me.

Now I'm better, and it's right back to business as usual.

Go figure.

 

[FBPirate95]

Re: Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

Been there done that. Sometimes its just what's got to happen. They key is asking yourself if you're seriously happy with her. If not, life is too short to be unhappy.

Luckily my divorce was cheap, easy, and quick. Hopefully if that is the path you're heading down, it will be the same way for you. Remember we're hear to listen to you when you need someone to talk to.

Also, life goes on after divorce. It's not the end of the world.

 

[fat fanny]

Re: Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

Just tell her you love her and anything worth anything is worth fighting for( unless she's romainian like my wife and she's as mean as a snake) and you may have to tell her twice don't give up. Good luck and sorry to hear of your situation.

 

[204 Escape]

Re: Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

Been there, done that TWICE!!!

On wife #3. Best thing that ever happened to me. She's honest, trustworthy, an excellant mother, and MY BEST FRIEND !!!!!

It's a tough deal to go through. BUT, try to talk to her, remember that it takes two to tango.

BUT, if you have to go through one, get it over quickly, and be merciful !!! Good luck to you !!!!!

KEEP YOUR HEAD UP !!!!!

 

[kenmyfam]

Re: Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

On that note Ken, my mother in law sides with me most of the time when her daughter (my wife) is wrong and she knows it. My father in law always agrees with me. I guess I am in the lower 1% of things.

NE, in your situation and me not knowing all the facts, it seems like she set you up for the talk and then inflamed things to blame you for the fight, when she wanted to leave all along.

While you are together.....Yes, during a break up.........very doubtful.

 

[HopeSheFloats]

Re: Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

No sense in beating a dead horse, but a skittish one shouldn't just be put out to pasture.
First figure out what 'you' want! Follow your heart, the rest will work out however it may.
Best to you!

 

[thefairlaneman]

Re: Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

I would try to patch things up if I could. Now if there is ANOTHER MAN INVOLVED THAT YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT,,,,,,,,,,,which is often the case,,friend you are wasting your time...women are funny about things like who they want to "BE" with

 

[older]

Re: Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

Was married for 16 years. The last four to five years of that was spent with marriage counselors and therapists.

Get a good lawyer, really. When it comes to official split time, you'll need all the help you can get. Things do get better after awhile. Good luck.

 

[Travis798]

Re: Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

I've never been married considering I'm not the relationship type (I'll kick a woman to the curb the first time she annoys me, I'm just way too anti-social) but I have seen enough people get divorced to feel like I've been there myself.

Get the best dang divorce lawyer you can find. They might cost a lot, but think of it as an investment. It will save you money in the long run. A good lawyer can help you keep that house/dog/camper/boat.

 

[aspeck]

Re: Going through the big "D" and I dont mean Dallas

After reading all these posts, I am amazed at how much as a society we value integrity ... we wish we could go back to the days where a man's word meant something and deal could be done on a handshake.

But when it comes to commitments in marriage and relationships, well, our word doesn't mean much. We commit till death do us part and when trouble comes, run to a lawyer instead of doing all we can to keep our word. And yes, it goes both ways for both parties. It is not wonder the institution of marriage doesn't mean much to the younger generation ... because we have devalued our word.

Sorry to get on a soap box, but I deal with a lot of youth who have been messed up because of adults (parents) who could not, or did not want to, keep their word to each other. Sometimes there is good reason for divorce, sometimes it is just because of a "rough spot" that is easier dealt with by running home to momma instead of holding up our end of the bargain of loving and cherishing ... love and cherishing takes time and effort where using and taking do not.

Please NE, I am not saying this is you ... I do not know your situation ... I am saying this about our society in general. I hope not to offend anyone by this post because each of us have different circumstances and sometimes divorce is the only way. I just get upset when I see lives hurt, ruined, because a person would rather do what is easy than do what is right.