Got My Boat Back....Now What????

[lncoop]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

I agree with lncoop (OMG!... did I just say that out loud?), give her what she wants to get her off your back. Heck, give her more than she wants... give her the darn dock lines and PFDs too. Give her everything out of the boat, jar up the bilge water and give her that too (some of it might be hers). Leave it on her door step with a note "Here's all of your stuff".

:faint2: Try not to make a habit of it, okay? We both have reputations to maintain, ya know.:lol:

 

[aspeck]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

Hey Captain, I do not disagree with anything that has been said, but I also want to remind you that "blessed are the peacemakers ..." and it takes two to fight. I am NOT making a statement on anything that has HAPPENED, but just trying to help looking forward. Because you 2 are living in such close proximity, because there are mutual friends, because your paths will cross, if you can stay above the fray, don't come down to her perceived level, work hard at not slinging mud back, etc. You will be the better man for it.

I know that is not always the easy way, and sometimes it might come back to bite you, but revenge is only gratifying for a season. Hold your head high, be at peace, and walk with no regret or guilt.

(BTW, I would tell her the same thing.)

Praying for both of you ...

 

[nlain]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

Hey Captain, I do not disagree with anything that has been said, but I also want to remind you that "blessed are the peacemakers ..." and it takes two to fight. I am NOT making a statement on anything that has HAPPENED, but just trying to help looking forward. Because you 2 are living in such close proximity, because there are mutual friends, because your paths will cross, if you can stay above the fray, don't come down to her perceived level, work hard at not slinging mud back, etc. You will be the better man for it.

I know that is not always the easy way, and sometimes it might come back to bite you, but revenge is only gratifying for a season. Hold your head high, be at peace, and walk with no regret or guilt.

(BTW, I would tell her the same thing.)

Praying for both of you ...

Very wise words there aspeck.

 

[sasto]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

Hey Captain, I do not disagree with anything that has been said, but I also want to remind you that "blessed are the peacemakers ..." and it takes two to fight. I am NOT making a statement on anything that has HAPPENED, but just trying to help looking forward. Because you 2 are living in such close proximity, because there are mutual friends, because your paths will cross, if you can stay above the fray, don't come down to her perceived level, work hard at not slinging mud back, etc. You will be the better man for it.

I know that is not always the easy way, and sometimes it might come back to bite you, but revenge is only gratifying for a season. Hold your head high, be at peace, and walk with no regret or guilt.

(BTW, I would tell her the same thing.)



Praying for both of you ...

As always....Good advice, as Nolan says. This is one reason I posted here on iboats. I don't want to get these folks here at the marina that know us to get involved. I do not discuss this with anybody except a couple of my good friends. I have taken the "high road" and have refrained from speaking anything negative about her......for that matter, anything at all.

I just hung up with a Deputy. He gave me the same advice on this matter. Do nothing, and don't have anymore contact with her in this matter, or any other matter. I have my morals and my integrety to keep intact. I like to do the right thing here. I guess the right thing is....nothing.

This has been going on for sometime now. She just won't let go.

Thanks...Again!

 

[JoLin]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

I just hung up with a Deputy. He gave me the same advice on this matter. Do nothing, and don't have anymore contact with her in this matter, or any other matter. I have my morals and my integrety to keep intact. I like to do the right thing here. I guess the right thing is....nothing.

Final steps- block her phone number, block her e-mail address. 'De-friend' her on Facebook if you haven't already. No calls to dodge, no e-mail or text messages that might make you angry enough to respond in kind. If she mails you a letter, mail it back unopened. She can't do a damned thing to you if she has no means to contact you. If she shows up in person and won't leave slam the door, call a cop, then get a restraining order.

Her only recourse would be to 'go legal' and she won't do it- she has no case.

My .02

 

[korygrandy]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

LOL...Sasto the heartbreaker. Any ex that's bugged me was for ME to come retrieve MY stuff...

Apparently my value is within my beauty and I think Sasto has that same issue... your just too darn good lookin and it really has nothing to do with STUFF but rather the desire to see or torment you...one of the other.

Depending on how well you performed, if you performed REALLY well, she could be looking for her stuff for the next few years.

 

[southkogs]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

...I just hung up with a Deputy. He gave me the same advice on this matter. Do nothing, and don't have anymore contact with her in this matter, or any other matter. I have my morals and my integrety to keep intact. I like to do the right thing here. I guess the right thing is....nothing.

This has been going on for sometime now. She just won't let go.

Often that's the hitch - it's not about the stuff, ownership or anything else besides emotion. And it's amazing how powerful anger can be, and the person who entertains the anger finds eventually that it has more control of them than they do of it. Ya' have to learn to wrestle with the hurt and anger honestly, and then turn to the next chapter.

Make the most of your integrity Cap'n. As Art said, if peace can be made by giving some/all of the "stuff" to her - and it's no problem for you - perhaps some good will come of it. If not for her, at least for you.

 

[JoLin]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

Sorry, guys, but this woman doesn't want the stuff- she wants the connection. Either she hopes for reconciliation, or she needs the occasional 'fix' to keep her anger going.

ANY response to her demands is the emotional equivalent of feeding a stray cat. She'll never go away. I say just end it and make sure that any attempt at contact simply falls into a 'black hole.'

My .02

 

[DECK SWABBER 58]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

Hey Captain, I do not disagree with anything that has been said, but I also want to remind you that "blessed are the peacemakers ..." and it takes two to fight. I am NOT making a statement on anything that has HAPPENED, but just trying to help looking forward. Because you 2 are living in such close proximity, because there are mutual friends, because your paths will cross, if you can stay above the fray, don't come down to her perceived level, work hard at not slinging mud back, etc. You will be the better man for it.

I know that is not always the easy way, and sometimes it might come back to bite you, but revenge is only gratifying for a season. Hold your head high, be at peace, and walk with no regret or guilt.

(BTW, I would tell her the same thing.)

Praying for both of you ...

I can't top any of the advice given, especially this one.

So......, Captain I'm just going to try and make you laugh.

When my ex wife and I started to get serious before we got married she said after all you know are sure you don't want to go "running down the street screaming" ? I said no. BIG MISTAKE! Wouldn't ya think being husband #4 would give you a clue? DUH.

She literally haunted me for years, said she'd made a big mistake. I helped her countless times, moving, money lending, etc.
When she was between jobs let her move back in. Finally I lost it (which is not my nature) and told her to GET THE F**k OUT OF MY HOUSE. Haven't spoken to her in ten years.

My live-in soul-mate of almost ten yrs., well... the pontoon is in both our names, the lowly jon boat is in mine. If we split, well I will happily wave good-bye to the pontoon, if I'm by myself I don't need it. But I feel blessed to say I think we will be together until death do us part.

D**m Captain, you don't need this kind of stress, but I know you are the guy that aspeck describes.
Such is life. I know you will prevail my friend.

 

[MH Hawker]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

I wish I had some good advice to offer, I went through a very bitter divorce several years ago and in my case I chose to move 100 miles away against the advice of my lawyer. That was the only way I was ever going to get any relief, As things were getting finalized my lawyer came to me to say in his 30 years he had never ran across a more vindictive woman and my moving was the best choice that I could of made. She still calls ever now and then to complain.

 

[sasto]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

Final steps- block her phone number, block her e-mail address. 'De-friend' her on Facebook if you haven't already. No calls to dodge, no e-mail or text messages that might make you angry enough to respond in kind. If she mails you a letter, mail it back unopened. She can't do a damned thing to you if she has no means to contact you. If she shows up in person and won't leave slam the door, call a cop, then get a restraining order.

Her only recourse would be to 'go legal' and she won't do it- she has no case.

My .02

JoLin, this is very good advise. The Deputy told me the same thing, except the mail. Facebook has been blocked for quite awhile now, e-mail just yesterday. Today the phone.

You would think I am 20 something. I am in my fifties. In all my years of being married twice and having countless girlfriends, you would think I would have came across this before and know how to handle it. I haven't.....till now. I have been the one my married friends, men and mostly women, come to for advice. Now I wonder why! Good has come of this. I have learned something valuable as I move on.

LOL...Sasto the heartbreaker. Any ex that's bugged me was for ME to come retrieve MY stuff...

Apparently my value is within my beauty and I think Sasto has that same issue... your just too darn good lookin and it really has nothing to do with STUFF but rather the desire to see or torment you...one of the other.

Depending on how well you performed, if you performed REALLY well, she could be looking for her stuff for the next few years.

LOL.

Often that's the hitch - it's not about the stuff, ownership or anything else besides emotion. And it's amazing how powerful anger can be, and the person who entertains the anger finds eventually that it has more control of them than they do of it. Ya' have to learn to wrestle with the hurt and anger honestly, and then turn to the next chapter.

Make the most of your integrity Cap'n. As Art said, if peace can be made by giving some/all of the "stuff" to her - and it's no problem for you - perhaps some good will come of it. If not for her, at least for you.

I always wanted to, southkogs, but it has gone to far now to take that path. Heck, I have stuff of mine at her house I would like back. I gave up on these items awhile back. I figured it wasn't worth my time.

Sorry, guys, but this woman doesn't want the stuff- she wants the connection. Either she hopes for reconciliation, or she needs the occasional 'fix' to keep her anger going.

ANY response to her demands is the emotional equivalent of feeding a stray cat. She'll never go away. I say just end it and make sure that any attempt at contact simply falls into a 'black hole.'

My .02

Again.....This is the path I choose to take. It isn't her "stuff" anyway.

I can't top any of the advice given, especially this one.

So......, Captain I'm just going to try and make you laugh.

When my ex wife and I started to get serious before we got married she said after all you know are sure you don't want to go "running down the street screaming" ? I said no. BIG MISTAKE! Wouldn't ya think being husband #4 would give you a clue? DUH.

She literally haunted me for years, said she'd made a big mistake. I helped her countless times, moving, money lending, etc.
When she was between jobs let her move back in. Finally I lost it (which is not my nature) and told her to GET THE F**k OUT OF MY HOUSE. Haven't spoken to her in ten years.

My live-in soul-mate of almost ten yrs., well... the pontoon is in both our names, the lowly jon boat is in mine. If we split, well I will happily wave good-bye to the pontoon, if I'm by myself I don't need it. But I feel blessed to say I think we will be together until death do us part.

D**m Captain, you don't need this kind of stress, but I know you are the guy that aspeck describes.
Such is life. I know you will prevail my friend.

Thanks for sharing, Swabbie. I guess you could say I was stressed somewhat about all this. Mainly because I didn't know how to handle it. Between you guys, friends, an attorney, and the Deputy, I found my way.

BTW....Yes, you do have a keeper and a Facebook friend of mine. She is from West "By God" Virginia. If....I said IF...I was looking for a replacement, that's where I would go.

I wish I had some good advice to offer, I went through a very bitter divorce several years ago and in my case I chose to move 100 miles away against the advice of my lawyer. That was the only way I was ever going to get any relief, As things were getting finalized my lawyer came to me to say in his 30 years he had never ran across a more vindictive woman and my moving was the best choice that I could of made. She still calls ever now and then to complain.

Sorry about this, MH Hawker. I guess I should have seen the writing on the wall. This person was going through a bitter divorce after I met her, and I am the main reason for the divorce. She has been treating this poor guy the same for about five years now.

I appreciate all the advice given to me here. It all seemed to come with sincerity. I was hoping this wouldn't go south....and it didn't.


Very much appreciate all of you for taking the time to respond. Thanks!

 

[MH Hawker]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

lololol ok talk about jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. Let me know what area she is from and I may be able to at least give you a heads up some of those WV gal are damm ruff, snickers I have known quiet a few. its like juggling dynamite, while it can be one h**of a ride you know its going end bad. Just ask her if she lives north or south of route 60. If she is north you stand a 70 % chance of surviving, if it south, well snickers your done for. :decision:

 

[DECK SWABBER 58]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

BTW....Yes, you do have a keeper and a Facebook friend of mine. She is from West "By God" Virginia. If....I said IF...I was looking for a replacement, that's where I would go.

lololol ok talk about jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. Let me know what area she is from and I may be able to at least give you a heads up some of those WV gal are damm ruff, snickers I have known quiet a few. its like juggling dynamite, while it can be one h**of a ride you know its going end bad. Just ask her if she lives north or south of route 60. If she is north you stand a 70 % chance of surviving, if it south, well snickers your done for. :decision:

Just for fun I asked Deb if she was from north or south of Route 60. She said waaay north.

 

[MH Hawker]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

Grins, did she explain

 

[sasto]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

Just for fun I asked Deb if she was from north or south of Route 60. She said waaay north.

Yup.....She and I both!

 

[MH Hawker]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

Its a bit of a explanation. Route 60 runs east to west across WV and it really is a dividing line The north is mostly industrialized and very lovely country, south is the coal fields and it is like stepping back in time in a lot of areas. They have their own special form of politics and ways of doing things. Law enforcement is more about how much money you have or who you know instead of real laws. Its a very hard core area and a hard place to try to live, The people are very different, If they like you they will do any thing in the world for you and if they don't they wont do any thing at all. Its the land of the real Hatfield and McCoy s and they can hold a grudge till death. Snickers and yes I grew up was south of 60 in Mingo county.

The girls are some thing real different I will give you a example. One morning a friend and I were standing in front of his truck and having a cup of coffee and talking and all of a sudden he grabbed me and pulled me down bellow the front of the truck about the time some one opened up with a .357. Turns out it was his X wife and she was pissed because his alimony check was late and she wanted to go shopping. Now any other place the cops would get called and in this case she was one of the county judges daughter and their isn't a cop in the state would dare.

SO snickers, I think you safe but you have to watch them WV girls. My X wife 15 year later is still pissed

 

[sasto]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

SO snickers, I think you safe but you have to watch them WV girls. My X wife 15 year later is still pissed

Geez, MH Hawker....I sure hope this doesn't last that long!

Beach Fork? I visited the State Park in the early 80's with some friends from Huntington. Camped out a couple nights and went cane pole fishing. Really enjoyed that place.

BTW. I don't go out looking for the Ladies. I just let things happen as they come. As a matter of fact, I tend to ignore them. They can't stand it!

 

[sasto]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

Update:

Since my last post and after taking everyone's advice, I haven't heard a peep. Almost all of our mutual friends were my friends for a long time before they met her. She had a joyful and loving personallity and made friends with mine easy. She has gone to each and everyone of my friends speaking lies and streatching the truth about me. I ignored it. They know better and all told her they don't want my name mentioned in a conversation. She has since left them alone too.

I did recieve a phone call a couple weeks ago, which was blocked, at 1:30 AM. I can only imagine it was wine fueled.

Thanks again for helping me in this issue that meant very much to me!

 

[billyman]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

Glad you got it behind you, but this has me scared...

Almost all of our mutual friends were my friends for a long time before they met her. She had a joyful and loving personality and made friends with mine easy. She has gone to each and everyone of my friends speaking lies and stretching the truth about me.

My g/f has done this to me. Most of "our" friends, were my friends prior to her or are people we have met together. When we have disagreements, she likes to "vent" to our friends and this creates issues with our friends, as well as w/ in our relationship. :blue:

 

[aspeck]

Re: Got My Boat Back....Now What????

Hey Captain, good to hear. Still praying for both of you. You are a good man, I don't care what Veritus, Nlain, Coop, or Fireman say! LOL! Keep your head up, and when are we going fishing again?