Hi my name is ...

[SuzukiChopper]

Chris and I'm an alcoholic. I'm 27 years old and for the last 12 years of my life have just not been able to have one solid "good" year where something hasn't happened to change my life. I'm a very laid back person, optimistic about almost everything and I **** people off most times because I always see the silver lining in the clouds. I WAS also the kind of person that had a tough time saying NO to people. A little over 2 years ago I started drinking, brought on by my job. It was also the cause and end to a 10 year relationship, although I did make a huge effort to quit and at the end of the day... the end to that relationship was a blessing in disguise because it made ME happier.

Recently because of my residence being raided, belongings being seized, and losing my dream job... although NOT being charged with any kind of wrong doing... I started drinking heavily again. I find that alcohol helps me sleep at night and helps me not think about the burdens in my life. I'm definitely not an aggressive drunk... actually the only time I ever hit some one was when I saw some dude trying to beat up his girl because he was drunk... go figure.

Why am I even posting this? Well, for one I'm not doing the AA thing because I feel the recovery program they provide is too 'religious'. Second, I have seen on here before others that have dealt with addictions in one form or another (multiple boat syndrome doesn't count lol) and can maybe help me through this, through PM, email or otherwise. Third, I trust the knowledge and advice that is contained in this forum and feel it's a non-objective, un-biased means of receiving said knowledge. Fourth... and last... I just need to tell someone other then my ol' lady so I can at least feel like I'm taking the step in the right direction.

Hopefully today will be the start for me to become who I once was. Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[tashasdaddy]

Re: Hi my name is ...

a lot of the time, the alcohol covers other problems. i drank heavily for years, and i agree on your take of AA. alcohol covered up and unhappy marriage, then covered the loneliness afterwards.
then waking up in the morning feeling, like a truck ran over you, and having to face the day.

worrying about how things might have been. or aren't going you way. is useless.

other than mental illness, we are 99% of our problem. not willing to face the fact, that we are the only one who can solve this problem.

the only way to cure the problem is face it straight up, and decide you are strong enough. to correct your ways.

i have alcohol in the house all the time, and in a social setting i will take a drink or 3, but i control the drink, rather than the drink control me.

 

[JB]

Re: Hi my name is ...

I have the very good luck to be someone who really doesn't like the effects of more than one drink or one beer. I almost never have more than one in a session and never more than two.

I also believe that being an alcoholic and being a drunk are not the same thing. An alcoholic has a physical need for alcohol but may rarely or never get drunk. A drunk has a psychological need to escape self control and deny responsibility for his/her behavior.

I also believe that being drunk does not "change" a person, it merely reveals the inner him/her.

Sorry I have no advice for you, Chopper. Whatever change may come about will come from you.

 

[Gary H NC]

Re: Hi my name is ...

You took the BIG first step and admitted the problem.This is something you can get through and come out better and more wise if you work at it.
I am like JB...its rare i drink and if i do its only one or two drinks.
Growing up my father was an alcaholic for as long as i remember.
Why he drank i don't really know but he would start at 4 am having shots with his coffee and ended the day passed out on the couch.He never really acted drunk because he had built up such a resistance to it.He worked 7 days a week and run himself in the ground.
He died at age 62...
That was back in 1992 and at the time i was battling my own addiction with cocaine.His death really opened my eyes.I stopped the coke and never looked back.Went through the withdraws,puking,sweating and thought i would die!
I beat it though man and you can too..
You got friends here that will help you all we can...

Hang in there and before you take a drink think really hard why you need it.

 

[tallcanadian]

Re: Hi my name is ...

good for you chopper, for taking the most important step you can. and that is admitting it. my hats off for you and i wish you the best. one day at a time and you will beat this. you can't live the past but learn from it for the future. replace the bottle with some fishing gear, gas up the old boat and hit the lake. that is when it thaws. you fellas in the prairies are my heroes. living the coldest winters there are. i don't know how ya do it. good luck fighting your demons.

 

[eaglejim]

Re: Hi my name is ...

I started hanging around people that didn't drink (you are what you hang with)after I learned how my grand dad died,he was a drunk a funny one but still a drunk he did a high dive off the Tampa Bay bridge the remains of a 6 pack were left in the car with a note,well like him I was beginning to enjoy the beer a little to much,so I made a decision that I did not want to go out that way didn't have a beer for a long time (maybe 15 years) the only time my wife and I have a beer is after boating at the lake house.The funny part is you can't get singles so we buy a 6 pack and always leave 4. Good luck Chris you can beat it .

 

[SuzukiChopper]

Re: Hi my name is ...

Thanks for the words of encouragement and relating stories. The way this whole thing started was pretty sad actually. Years prior I never had a problem going out and having fun then dealing with the hangover the next day. Then the stress from my job hit in the form of a massive project with a tight deadline that meant 16 - 20 hour days writing code. They allowed me to work remotely and one Friday I decided it would be nice to have a few drinks while I plugged away. Next thing I knew I had downed a 30 of whiskey. The next day I of course felt like crap and found that hair of the dog made it better. That began the vicious cycle of drinking to 'fix' drinking. Wasn't a vice to deal with any kind of emotional issues or even work stress for that matter. Pretty much spawned itself from carelessness.

Hopefully tomorrow the physical effects of my drinking are less then they are today, finding it hard to even type... but I knew this would happen from when I had quit before. One day at a time.

 

[puddle jumper]

Re: Hi my name is ...

Tash hit it on the head. You have to control it. I have known way to many drunks and its not a glamorous life at all. Its like smoking,it looks cool at first and then your health suffers from it.

My take on

alcoholic - some one who has to drink. Even if its one drink a week. Its the fact you have to drink.

Drunk -some one who drinks for the fun of it and over indulges to often.

My biggest problem is when i get drunk it takes up to a week to get over it.

Drinking does not never solve any problems and only makes them worse.

I'm rambling on again hope i pointed out some things that might help.

 

[mickjetblue]

Re: Hi my name is ...

Chop -

You're taking the right step in venting and asking for advice.
I would suggest that you concentrate on the program you need to follow
in each day of the future. If you prefer not to utilize a known program, then
you need to create your own. It can have the same principles, and probably
should. Set your guiding principles, and adhere to them. While most decisions
are in the immediacy of time, remember that a better future is yet to come.

If you even think you are going to mess up on your own, then get some help.

 

[Bigprairie1]

Re: Hi my name is ...

It appears you are already moving forward positively on this Chopper. I agree with a lot of the previously mentioned takes on this. You have to first figure out if you have the 'thirst' which is a need and is the alcoholic part of the deal. The other, relating to get openly drunk, is often a personality issue.
Ironically not many alcoholics are apparent 'drunks'. A lot of people often never know that someone is because they develop an ability to function at a very high level when intoxicated. Someone who drinks for getting drunk sake is somewhat different.
Either way, you're going to need to develop some serious discipline on this to start cutting down and back. Replace it with something very good, ideally some excercise (or equivalent) and something that gets you positive.
Good on ya' for your honesty and keep going.
BP

 

[Benny1963]

Re: Hi my name is ...

chopper takes big one to say what ya said .
when i came back from service i drank myself stupid at least ya can admit ya got a prob.you are the only one that can decide what happens in your life
drinking cost me a lot but i quit out of disgust at what i had become been straight 12 years you can do it when your ready it will all come around
good luck pm me if ya need to talk

 

[zach103]

Re: Hi my name is ...

well im glad you admitted it cuz like everyone else said thats big.. what are you doing now to fix it? like a game plan.. idk much cuz im still young but the way i would beat it was have less of it everyday.. take up something else instead.. like everytime you have the urge for a beer take a coca-cola instead.. walk away and work on the boat that helps me..

 

[SuzukiChopper]

Re: Hi my name is ...

drinking cost me a lot but i quit out of disgust at what i had become...

This is pretty much what happened to me. Cost too much money and I went from a guy who was ambitious about doing everything to a guy who had to motivate himself to do anything.

It's been 3 days so far, I've definitely re-hydrated my body and have noticed a big difference in just doing this. Haven't had the urge for a drink since early yesterday and only really feel crappy right now because I couldn't sleep AT ALL last night (sleep patterns are out of whack). Been a while since I've 'felt' exhaustion. Get the occasional cold sweat but the 'simple seizures' (muscle spasms) I knew I would have the first day are gone and my energy is through the roof. Looking forward to pocketing $50 every two days that I used to spend on booze... and using it for a new fishfinder (gonna need a second one for my open bow now)

Thanks again for the support, it really does mean a lot.

 

[SuzukiChopper]

Re: Hi my name is ...

what are you doing now to fix it? like a game plan.. idk much cuz im still young but the way i would beat it was have less of it everyday.. take up something else instead.. like everytime you have the urge for a beer take a coca-cola instead.. walk away and work on the boat that helps me..

My vice was whiskey and diet pepsi so for the first two days I avoided diet pepsi all together and drank a lot of water and a lot of gatorade. As for a game plan, quit cold turkey and keep reminding myself every single day that I'm feeling better and better physically and mentally. Also, before I used to always make sure I could have a drink or two before anything scheduled first thing in the day, otherwise I'd have a VERY tough time putting thoughts together and would really have a hard time functioning at all. I was very physically addicted. Now is the perfect time to make this move because I'm able to just rest and relax at home without having to worry about it. Now that I'm feeling 1000 times better I don't need to schedule anything around a drink. Just get up and go.

The timing was perfect and now that I see the weather might just break here, I'll be able to get a TON done on the boat.

 

[zach103]

Re: Hi my name is ...

there you go man.. see you know what your doin now and now you know you got a ton of us here behind you 110% . i got faith in you... and see i told you the boat helps.. its like 35 right now just turned the heater on and gunna get some work done. it helps in my down time all i think about is what i can do to fix the boat and all that..

 

[SuzukiChopper]

Re: Hi my name is ...

It's a balmy -2f here. Not terrible for us by any means but still bitter.

The boat and other projects don't overly help me because I find myself laying awake at night just thinking about things now... like I used to do before drinking. I enjoyed it though and will be putting my notepad beside my bed again

I think I already have the stern section completely built in my head, with a good idea of the measurements of different pieces and cuts I have to make lol Sure makes it easier when you have actual wood in front of you.

 

[PmDavis300]

Re: Hi my name is ...

well the first step is done, congratulations. i read your post and i see alot of justification for your drinking.. and also, why did your house get raided?? drugs? you dont need to answer that, but i wanted to bring it up. and im glad youve only hit someone once, but ive only hit someone once too.... but im an alcholic.

ok heres my real reason for posting... ive been sober once in my life, for 14 months, and the only reason i made it that long was AA. so iguess my point is that even though you dont like it, i think you should at least try and give AA a chance. put that stupid philosophical bs away for a few months and just go to some meetings. maybe it goes against your principals, but at least you wont drink... and if someone gives me a choice between participating in something i have a problem with, and dying, ill choose the former.

look, i dont care what your belife on god is, i just want you to be rid of booze, and i really think if you give aa a real chance and really want to stop drinking it could work for you. please try it.

 

[SuzukiChopper]

Re: Hi my name is ...

Wasn't raided because of drugs. Far from it actually.

AA sounds like something I could do, however my biggest isn't the urge to drink... it's always been getting past the physical addiction I got my self trapped in to. Also always having the bottle beside me made it just to easy to keep pouring another one. Now that there's no booze around and I've made it this far... I have no urge to drink. I'm even on Skype with some buddies right now that are enjoying some JD and beer. Isn't even phasing me. Thanks for the advice though.

 

[Landscaping Wiz 808]

Re: Hi my name is ...

What's up Chopper? Another good way to ease your mind when the thought of drinking is crushing in is to get some strenuous exercise. Do some push-ups or take a run 'til your heart feels like it's going to explode. It might sound crazy, but works great. I've found it helps curtail my exploits.

Anyway, if you're a man that can survive the bitter cold of BIG CANADA, then you won't have any problem with this. You hold the beer, not vice versa.

Good luck to ya ~ BOB

 

[Bondo]

Re: Hi my name is ...

As for a game plan, quit cold turkey and keep reminding myself every single day that I'm feeling better and better physically and mentally.

Ayuh,... ConGrats SC,...

That's the Plan I started with about 12 years ago,....
That was the morning After my 4th DWI.....
I've been Sober ever since,....Well,... except for 1 time...

I quit Cold Turkey,+ stayed Dry for over a year,...
That summer, a bunch of old friends,+ I went up to an isolated Lodge up in the mountains,...
The plan for the weekend was a pig roast,+ some serious Beer Drinkin',...
By 11: pm that night I was sitting beside the fire,+ was Too Drunk to get up,+ go to bed... I finally made it,+ was Sicker than a Dog for the rest of the weekend....
I've been Sober ever since....

I find I don't have any urge anymore to have a drink,....
And, Beer(My Vice) now tastes alittle Worse than $h!t....
I used to have a beer with the crew on the last day of our working season,... Now I don't even bother then...
On occasion, I might sip on an iced shot of Sambuca, or Ameretto,... Kind of a chilled shot of Nice tasting mouthwash.... Usually at a Holiday type party with friends,+ family...

Personally,... I was a Drunk by Habit, more so than addiction,... I always wanted to be at Every party, Every night,...
From age 18 to age 41, I doubt I missed Any parties,... I always made it to Work,+ Worked danm Hard everyday,... I guess that's why my boss Eric stood behind me,+ allowed me to get Over it...

Now,.... If I could just give up Smoking as Easily as it was for Me to Quit Alcohol,......

Good Luck.....