People wanting to go out on your boat...

[25thmustang]

I read a few posts here and there, and the general attitude seems to be everyone has a ton of people who want to head out on their boats. It seems most on here are turning people down on a weekly basis.

My post is in the exact opposite tone. I have a close group of friends that I have known for a long time. When I purchased my 27' project boat, I had them helping me out all the time. A lot of time 3 or 4 guys would be over working on it for hours. Their whole intention was to get it done so we could use it. For a few years this went on. During that time I got a lot of "ribbing" about "going out" on the boat.

Fast forward to this summer and the new boat. No more project, the new one floats, runs and needs nothing but cold beverages and food. On more than one occasion I have asked to spend the day on the boat. I have tried asking in advance, spur of the moment, a few days before etc... Every single time I ask I get NO response. I don't get any answer until I literally confront them in person and flat out ask. This is usually the day before a planned trip and they finally reluctantly say I'm busy, and thats the end of the conversation. This past weekend a friend was down from Boston and called me up Fri to see what everyone was up to. I offered to do a boat ride Sunday, and simply figured I would prepare for it, assuming it wouldn't happen. Once again no response, so I went about my day. My Boston friend did call around 1:00 to let me know he wasn't gonna go, but the 5 others I called/text/emailed ignored it.

So I am posting this to get others feedback. Do you guys experience this? Do you have people who always "talk" about the boat, but when it comes down to it, never go?

BTW as some back up, my boat is docked 15-20 minutes from where we live. Noone would have to do anything other than bring a bathing suit and whatever beverages they preferred. I don't ask for money when taking others out, I simply enjoy the boat and hanging out with friends.

 

[Surfer Dave]

Re: People wanting to go out on your boat...

I have people all the time saying for sure they are coming to go boating, 90% of the time they never show or call even. The good news is, my boats is always floating behind my house (I live on a lake). So when ever anyone says they are coming I never worry if they don't as I go out everyday anyway.

 

[TimBobCom]

Re: People wanting to go out on your boat...

I run into the same thing when I invite people. My friends are always asking about my boat and are always excited about heading out sometime, until I give them a date then I won't hear from them for days until I have to ask for a confirmation. Just this past weekend I must have invited 10 people out and only 2 showed up. I don't have a problem with this, I just want to share my boating with friends (and I need a wakeboarding spotter )

 

[Chaparralboater]

Re: People wanting to go out on your boat...

Sometimes it's seamier for me to tell them..hey I'll be out on the water jut meet me there and we can go tubing or wakeboarding. I think some guys don't like the sound of loading the boat. Driving it there, waiting, washing ect..lazy but true for most non owners. Most times I get a better turn out.

 

[25thmustang]

Re: People wanting to go out on your boat...

My "issue" with this, boils down to the fact that I am still new at docking the boat. I like having a peron up front (two if possible) and at least one with the lines in the cockpit when I'm backing into the slip. If/when I get more practice it won't be a concern but as it stands, I don't have the confidence to dock the boat, more or less on my own. Now granted, it might sound like my friend dont want to come and have to "stand guard" or hold dock lines, but I have never mentioned these things, and those that have done it for me, have no complaints.

I guess it boils down to things sound good on paper, but when you have to commit and it's real, their opinions change.

Personally I wouldn't mind someone telling me no, ahead of time. It's the blatent ignoring me that bothers me. Even when I have people on the hook, they seem to ignore it until it's too late.

 

[FunInDuhSun]

Re: People wanting to go out on your boat...

Yeah, happens all the time. I let them know my shove off time and not to be late. If they're not onboard then I figure it's THEIR loss not mine!

 

[25thmustang]

Re: People wanting to go out on your boat...

Sometimes it's seamier for me to tell them..hey I'll be out on the water jut meet me there and we can go tubing or wakeboarding. I think some guys don't like the sound of loading the boat. Driving it there, waiting, washing ect..lazy but true for most non owners. Most times I get a better turn out.

This sounds reasonable, but I belong to a gated club, so people would need to come with me, or tell me if their coming, and there is literally nothing to do with my boat short of help me unhook and redock. No real washdown needed, canvas is up or down in 10 minutes (its usually down before the outing day anyway) and I do my best to accomodate everyone.

 

[Fireman431]

Re: People wanting to go out on your boat...

I seem to run the entire range. I invite as many as I can comfortable hold. Some never go, but they're friends so I invite anyway. Others are family and they go almost every weekend. Others are a once in a while, depending on plans.

It always seems to work out OK. I've gone with as little as 3 of us and as many as 15 (big boat, 15 is doable but life vests take up a lot of room). I only ask that you bring whatever you're party is going to require. I'll supply the boat and the gas (heck, we're going anyway), but I'm not feeding everyone as well.

Mustang...keep docking you boat and get the experience. Having a helping hand is great, but get away from the dependance in it. Unfortunately a lot of the guests won't know as much as you do and will be more of a hinderance than a help. Last thing you need is someone sticking their hand between the boat and a piling. Take a day and dock that beast 100 times, from every direction. It will be as easy as parking your car soon. Not to offend, but could that be a reason for the lack of company? Do others know that you are not as comfortable with the boat as you should be? Just wondering, as I said, no offense intended.

 

[Subliminal]

Re: People wanting to go out on your boat...

I run into this too, and i was actually talking to my neighbor about it. He's owned his boat for about 10 years now. His response was, "Yeah that happens when you try to go a lot." Makes sense. if you plan a trip every now and again, it's not too hard to fill up the boat, but if you go every weekend, I've come to find you get more no's than yes's.

I usually start looking on Wednesday and can usually find some folks to go out, even if it's just one or two. A full boat IS more fun, though.

Don't let it getcha down!

 

[25thmustang]

Re: People wanting to go out on your boat...

Fireman, no offense taken. I actually have gone out and practiced. The day I decided to get a bunch of practice sessions in... we had zero wind and no current. I docked the boat without anyones help and although the practice was good and confidence boosting, it was of little help really. The next time out with friends and we had a storm front coming in. Lots of wind, current etc. Had one friend out front, one out back and got her in the slip in a couple minutes. No harm, no worries, just patience. One of the guys was a boater, but I make the docking easy enough nearly anyone could help me out.

As far as this being the reason people don't want to go out, I could see it. On the contrary, the friends that I am referring to, I have never mentioned one word about docking. I would never let a passenger feel uncomfortable and don't show any uncomfort myself. I simply ask those on the boat if they could either grab the line, or sit on the bow (if she gets pushed off course) when I'm backing her down the aisle and into the slip. The friends who say no, or ignore me are non the wiser on docking the boat. They have never gotten to the point after the invite, for me to even mention helping dock the boat.

Needless to say I could very well see summer coming and going, and this one close groupf of friends, never stepping foot on the boat. However, I catch a lot of heat when I miss a softball game, LOL.

 

[Gary H NC]

Re: People wanting to go out on your boat...

Not certain what your weather has been like but when it's 90+ degrees and the sun is scortching everything, going out on the water just doesn't sound like a good time.

That is the problem here too.When the heat index is 105 to 110 like it has been for weeks i have no thoughts of even taking the cover off.

I guess come fall mine will hit the water again...

 

[smokeonthewater]

Re: People wanting to go out on your boat...

Heck I'm jealous..... you could get 3-4 friends helping you WORK on the boat.... shoot I have just the opposite problem.... filling the boat with people is easy but help working on it is almost nonexistant

 

[Subliminal]

Re: People wanting to go out on your boat...

Not certain what your weather has been like but when it's 90+ degrees and the sun is scortching everything, going out on the water just doesn't sound like a good time.

I disagree wholeheartedly. The ONLY thing I want to do on days like that is to swim...and since we don't have a pool, the boat is the key to a day in the water.

 

[Andy'sDelight]

Re: People wanting to go out on your boat...

I have no problem getting people to go with me. My problem is getting people to chip in for gas.

 

[tswiczko]

Re: People wanting to go out on your boat...

I have no problem finding people to fill seats on my boat, and have some friends ask me to go out with them now and again.

My problem is, this year funds are tight so I haven't taken my boat out, but I have gone and sat in it and drank a beer or two in the drive.

I have friends with boats who ask me to go but I don't have the money to bring food, beverage or pay for gas so I respectfully decline their offer and explain I am not comfortable going out with out being able to pitch in.

I have one good friend who says it doesn't matter to him and come on out any way so I try to make myself available to do maintenance whenever he needs help, or just show up at his dock and wash his boat for him as a thankyou for understanding my situation.

 

[Thad]

Re: People wanting to go out on your boat...

Never a problem on my boat. My daughters friends fill it up faster than I can count how many are there.

Word spreads like wild fire when we are getting ready to go. They start filling the driveway, picking out which jacket matches their suit for that day and packing the cooler. Sometimes I think I have five daughters...

And to boot, they all have learned how to clean the boat when we get home, my job has never been easier.

 

[RAT Attack]

Re: People wanting to go out on your boat...

Never a problem on my boat. My daughters friends fill it up faster than I can count how many are there.

Word spreads like wild fire when we are getting ready to go. They start filling the driveway, picking out which jacket matches their suit for that day and packing the cooler. Sometimes I think I have five daughters...

And to boot, they all have learned how to clean the boat when we get home, my job has never been easier.

You my friend, are a lucky man!

I don't usually have problems getting people out with me, but when they do not respond at all when you ask them, that ticks me off. Atleast say yes or no so I can fill that seat with someone else that enjoys a great day on the water. I do have one friend that would respond to my text if she was going to go, but wouldn't send anything if she wasn't. I finally confronted her about it, and explained my frustration, and it has never happened again. She still goes out with us all the time. I think some people are just not as considerate as others...

 

[ajgraz]

Re: People wanting to go out on your boat...

Here in Southern California, people flake out on 90% of whatever it is they said they'd do. As a transplant, it irritated the hell out of me at first, but I've gotten used to it after 15 years.

What the people around me haven't gotten used to yet is this...when I don't want to do something, I say "no, I'm not going to do that," instead of, "oh yeah, man, sure, I'll be there"...and then not show up.

And what I still haven't gotten used to is accepting an invite, then they go, "well, yeah, we really didn't think anyone would show, man."

 

[Friscoboater]

Re: People wanting to go out on your boat...

I have the same problem. Hell my brother even stood us up. I think some people are scared about going on a boat, and what work they might have to do. I could be on the lake every day, and never get sick of it, but then again I grew up on a lake, and I have water in my blood. Most people do not enjoy it the way I do. Even my wife gets burned out.

 

[asm_]

Re: People wanting to go out on your boat...

Also came from SoCal here. I asked my good friend once, point blank...

"Why you always accept invite on activity that you already know you won't be going?".

He replied,

"Because I'll never know if my 'first choice' plan would work out. I'll like to option at the last minute"

I can understand that logic, but it seems to be a bit to treat his friends in such manner.

B