Ramp Comedy

[merc200]

Last night, I went to the ramp to dock my boat and do a little work on my trailer bunks. While working, I heard and saw a lot of funny stuff. First, people were constantly loading and unloading their boats, and I heard a lot of yelling, like "WHOA!" or "STOP!" or "NOOOOOOOOOOO, MY NEW BOAT!". One guy parked the truck and trailer and yells down to his buddy on the water, "HEY, DO YA WANT ME TO LOCK THE TRUCK?".....Well, duuuh, of course, now that you've announced it to the world! While all that, there's a guy working on his 1950s vintage Evinrude outboard next to me in the lot. For whatever reason, he has it running, out of the water, revving it up like it's a Harley or something. I thought about saying something to him, but he looked like a guy that already knew it all anyway. Then you have the three guys, neither one under 250 lbs, unload a 12 foot Jon out of the back of their pickup with a little Johnson outboard.....load it in the water.....and take off....only to be taking in water from the wake of the ski area.... because the boat is inches from becoming NOT a boat. The front guy was getting soaked and the back guy was yelling at him to move towards the back of the boat....but there was no room to!!! It was at that time I left....I didn't really want to see what happened. All that in one hour at my local ramp last night! Gimme a camera, I'd be a millionare!

 

[Dunaruna]

Re: Ramp Comedy

I like to call it "wally watch". Have actually spent many an afternoon (when the fish are off the bite) sitting at the ramp having a beer or three beening entertained for free.<br /><br />Aldo

 

[Mercury140-I6]

Re: Ramp Comedy

Guys, there is a marina (Lazy M) in the Sacramento Delta near Tracy, CA. There is a huge weaping willow next to the boat ramp (2 lane) and there are always at least 3 people sitting under it on chairs with score cards, judging the launching and retrieving. It's almost as much fun as taking the boat out on the water.<br /><br />Craig

 

[Spidybot]

Re: Ramp Comedy

Yep, ramps are fun.<br /><br />Dunaruna, I stayed at the former Whaling Station "Tangalooma" on Moreton Island, for some days in 2001. Whale watching was very fine indeed and although there's no ramp at all we got plenty of laughs just watching people doing weird things around the seafront. <br /><br />At that place rules are many, to protect the wildlife & environment, but that surely doesn't keep folks from doing the craziest things! (Like trying go grab a wild dolphin near the beach).

 

[Dunaruna]

Re: Ramp Comedy

UU, <br /><br />Unfortunatly, thats why Moreton bay has so many rules - to many idiots doing what they shouldn't.<br /><br />Did you have a chance to sample the famous 'Moreton Bay Bug'? Yum,yum. <br /><br />Aldo

 

[salty87]

Re: Ramp Comedy

i think the ramp rats at my neighborhood ramp were getting their mail delivered to the ramp. they wouldn't leave! day or night, they were the first ones there and the last ones to leave.<br /><br />the grass in the area was dead, there was trash laying around. the neighborhood park had to rope off the area so the grass could grow back.<br /><br />i wonder where the ramp rats have gone. if there are no rats to see you screw up....did you screw up?

 

[jtexas]

Re: Ramp Comedy

Originally posted by salty87:<br /> if there are no rats to see you screw up....did you screw up?

I never screw up unless there's an audience, anyway.

 

[Ross J]

Re: Ramp Comedy

Thats one of the basic rules of making a complete *** of oneself I think.<br />The amount of embarassement is directionally proportional to the number of people watching.<br />Many times I have launched at 0300hrs or such to find no-one there and completed the procedure without trouble. When I've made an *** out of myself theres always somebody there.<br />Never mind, if I've given people a few laughs along the way then at least it's been entertaining eh!<br />Ross

 

[cigarxtc]

Re: Ramp Comedy

Well, I finally had a chance to watch my first official ramp follies yesterday morning, at Oologah Lake, OK. A buddy and I were anchored near a brush pile fishing for crappie, about 80 yds from the nearest boat ramp. But we were close enough to watch the comedy of errors. We got to witness 2 pontoons and a bass boat rev their engines real fast on land in preperation for launching. Also got to see an suv put one trailer wheel over the curb down the ramp---screeeeeeeech. Any further over the curb and the trailer would have taken a tumble over the steep rock bank. He was trying to launch a dual seadoo trailer and to boot, the seadoos were not strapped onto the trailer and there were riders on both of them! Brilliant. We also got to see some young and not too bright seadoo riders tear up the waterway in a No Wake Zone. Not impressive.

 

[DC698]

Re: Ramp Comedy

The ramp comedy never seems to stop. I should have known better than to go out on the holiday, but the wife wanted to go out with the kids. Kills me when I'm ready to head in, waiting in line and there is someone putting in a jetski using up both lanes on the ramp and takes him 15 min. to put it in. Then it takes the other guy 10 min. to back his trailer down the ramp to retrieve his boat..and then starts to tie down the whole boat on the ramp...all while me and 4 other people are going in reverse/forward about 50 times to stay in line. Finally the ramp attendent came out of his shack and got it under control. Crazy times at the ramp!

 

[speedwrench]

Re: Ramp Comedy

Ramp attendant???? Not familiar with that term.

 

[DC698]

Re: Ramp Comedy

Haha.. me niether, but the term sounded better than saying "the guy who takes your money for parking and watches you launch your boat". There is a name for him/her isnt there?? (At least I thought there was?!?! ) He has some good ramp stories though! He kept me in the parking lot talking about all the crazy things he seen people do...now theres a job! Like the one when he watched a guy for 45 min. trying to back his trailer down the ramp.. the next weekend same guy brought a friend along to do it for him..??

 

[brother chris]

Re: Ramp Comedy

Ramp Attendant? What's that? <br />We don't have them here in Canada. I hear they are illegal

 

[bounder4465]

Re: Ramp Comedy

I love boating on the major holidays. You can spot them when they pull up for their annual long weekend boating trip.<br /><br />They will have the stryo-foam coolers, enough people for a boat twice the size of the klunker they have, and all of them will be pale as a ghost. They do some of the strangest things.<br /><br />Just my $0.02 worth

 

[funpilot]

Re: Ramp Comedy

A poor guy, his wife already in the boat with their three kids, is laying chest deep under his Chevy Pickyp, feeling under the bumper... Since he is blocking the single ramp, I wait a few minutes, I'm the only person wanting to use the ramp.<br /><br />Finally he comes up for air... "I'm sorry, I locked my keys in the truck." I hear his wife telling someone in the cell phone "No, Weaver Lake in Maple Grove!!!"<br /><br />I'm thinking, I can squeeze by him and launch my little jet boat... so I do. I head out into the lake. I figure he is too embarrased to discuss the topic further. I just kept an eye on the ramp so that when he was able to remove his boat I could get back out since I was only planning to stay out a short time checking my throttle linkage.<br /><br />While on the lake, I got to watch a small woman disappear up to her ankles as she swabbed out the bilge in her Glastron... that must have been some clean bilge when she was done.<br /><br />Coming back in, there were six boats ready to launch from the back up of vehicles waiting on that poor guy with the locked in keys.<br /><br />As they say in that commercial... "Don't be that guy!"

 

[beezee28]

Re: Ramp Comedy

There are many follies done at the launching ramp. But don't forget you were there once!! Everyone has to start somewhere and mistake do happen and given time they will be able to correct their mistake and become better. Give them a break cos I was there once and learn from my mistake. Help them if you can...

 

[placebo]

Re: Ramp Comedy

Memorial weekend I launched my 1972 Glastron I/O at the landing accross the lake from my camp. The lake is very shallow there and my boat had sat on the trailer all winter(roller). I backed my old Volvo wagon til the back tires were wet and tried to launch. No go. Boat would not budge. I am by myself, every one else is at camp, 35 miles by road, 3 miles by water. So........I backed in some more, then some more. By the time I get the boat off, my butt is wet in the front seat of the Volvo, the wipers and heater are going by themselves, and I am stuck in the lake. Woe is me. This is a time where I would welcome a witness, but no-one is waiting in line. I am alone and in deep s...! Eventually I feel around under the rear tires and find a few large rocks holdding me back, and I get the car out of the lake. I disconnected the battery so it might start when I come back for it.(It did) <br />Then with the water so shallow, I put a big ding in my prop on my way to deep water. What a day. I would pay big money to see myself on film that day!

 

[JustMrWill]

Re: Ramp Comedy

I have to second beezee28's comment! I am a novice of a novice at this boating thing. To make things worse, nobody in my family likes the water/boating/fishing except me and my 8 year old so I have had the joy of launching my boat for the first 2 (and only 2 so far..just got it working last week) SOLO. Already I am tired of the looks that I get and the muttering under the breath of people waiting for me to get my boat out alone. If they want me to move faster then they could offer to help! The saddest part is that I loaded and got out of the way faster than many of them with "helpers".<br /><br />-JustMrWill<br />ps - I am SURE that I will adding some wonderful stories to this forum before my first baoting season is over.

 

[DC698]

Re: Ramp Comedy

It only makes sense to give someone a hand if you see them struggling unloading/loading -- especially if they are solo! With practice it will get much easier in time and once you get a routine down it gets easier. Its when people dont use their common sense when unloading/loading the boat...like not preparing the boat for launch until they are on the ramp. That takes up wasted time which should not have happened. We all started at some point in time. Having a routine down is key.

 

[hayhauler]

Re: Ramp Comedy

I've been boating for a while, and I'm not the most talented person at the ramp either. Mr. Will, I've been known to play the part of ramp rat, just watching others for a while to see what to do and what not to do. I agree that it might be nice if someone occasionally offered to help, but sometimes you find that people accept offers to help as if you are criticizing.<br /><br />Almost everyone I know has made the same mistake sooner or later. Don't forget to put the plug in.<br /><br />As DC698 said a routine really helps. I've seen people back the boat in the water, but they'd forgotten to release the stern straps. Think through the things that you need to do to get your boat in the water, and the best order to do those things in. A checklist isn't a bad idea.<br /><br />If the people watching don't seem to think you're doing it right, don't worry, it probably took them a few dozen times before they considered themselves to be experts, and they'll probably forget something important in one of their next few attempts to launch the boat.