Rethinking Christmas consumerism

[SuperNova]

I hope this post is ok, I don't intend it to be religious or political as I am neither political or particularly religious.
What I am is confused about a few things relating to the holiday season and the gross commercialism and consumerism it has become.
I find myself struggling to buy gifts for people who, although I love them, already have everything they need and so I buy something, anything, just so I can say I gave them a gift basically. Even my own kids already have a ton of toys and plenty of clothes, they don't need anything I get them or anything anyone else gets them either. But, if they don't get a lot of stuff, then the season is a huge disappintment to them. You have to bear with me because I'm having trouble articulating what I'm feeling properly and as I read back over what I wrote, I feel like I'm coming across as a scrooge, but that's not what I'm trying to convey. I love Christmas time and the whole gift giving thing, I just think it's gotten more than a little overblown on the commercial side of things. I think we are losing sight of the real meaning of what Christmas is supposed to be about and I'm not talking about going to church, either. I don't know...there is this group called Advent Conspiracy or something like that, who think kinda the same way I do....that there are better things we could be doing with our money to help the world than buying unnecessary gifts for people who don't need them. On the other hand, the month of December is a huge bolster to our economy so........

I think if I don't know someone well enough to know exactly what they need for Christmas, then I shouldn't be stressing myself to find "Something". And I am willing to put my money where my mouth is...I told everone I know that one of my gifts to them this year is to not feel obligated to get me something. Oh, I'll still do my usual shopping for people, no problem, I just thought I'd start by cutting someone else a break if I can.

If I want to give somebody something that I know they need, I should be able to do that without them feeling like they have to reciprocate. Sometimes that can stop me from getting the item because I know the other person can't really afford to and I don't want them to feel bad or put themselves into debt. I've been on that end of the stick and it isn't a feeling I would want to instill in anyone particularly at Christmastime.
There's more to this, but I've gone on long enough already.
I know this is sort of rambling, but I hope others feel the same way.

 

[tx1961whaler]

Re: Rethinking Christmas consumerism

Same here.
I came up with a rule that I follow and told to all of my relatives:
If you are an adult, defined as finished with school (college counts), you get a card and my best wishes for the holiday.
The kids/young adults get presents.

 

[SuperNova]

Re: Rethinking Christmas consumerism

Same here.
I came up with a rule that I follow and told to all of my relatives:
If you are an adult, defined as finished with school (college counts), you get a card and my best wishes for the holiday.
The kids/young adults get presents.

We kinda do the same thing, but don't you have any of the kids/young adult category who you find yourself struggling to figure out what to get them....but you know you have to get them something or risk them feeling slighted or disappointed? It's kinda like reverse, guilt driven extortion.

 

[ezmobee]

Re: Rethinking Christmas consumerism

We have managed to greatly reduce our gift giving. My wife and I only buy for our parents, my grandmother, my wife's niece, my sister and her husband, and, of course, our son. Someday when my sister has a child we will probably buy for him/her and not his/her parents.

I specifically try my best to avoid any gift exchanges which will surely result in a pointless even-value gift card exchange. We tried a pollyanna-type gift exchange with my mom's side of the family once or twice and that's what it became so I suggested we just kill it. No one minded. We just enjoy getting together.

 

[Bigprairie1]

Re: Rethinking Christmas consumerism

You're on the money with this Supernova and the trend is to 'shift' Christmas away from purchasing and consuming to participating and sharing....no easy feat these days.
We too are downsizing the 'shopping element' of Christmas this year and substituting it with activity stuff. We are still going to do small gifts only...basically stocking stuffer stuff.
Christmas is heavily marketed to kids and young teens so they get their impressions of Christmas from the media and that element rather than from family tradition anymore which seems to have 'fallen asleep at the wheel'. The trick is to 're-train' the expectation. Not so much by just cutting out gifts, which is immediately noticed and lamented. The best way is to substitute the 'gift angle' with activities and other elements that replace hard gifts. This usually still means a fair amount of effort for the holidays but at least a different kind of effort.
For instance, take the family skating or specifically take everyone to a Christmas concert. As well, maybe start up a new tradition (again) by having everyone help bake some Christmas goods (rather than buy them). Put on a no TV rule for certain hours in the evening. Another good one is to get everyone to pitch in a few bucks and buy some canned food, maybe find some spare items around the house and take a drive down to the foodbank, etc to drop off some much needed stuff. Even if everyone goes for the ride and gets a chance to check out the 'other side' they will probably (quietly) appreciate their effort more than they first thought.
We have been taking the time to pull out some old Christas books we received and spend about 1/2-1 hr a night reading some Christmas stories out loud rather than watching the 'Grinch' for the 38th time. Its amazing how everyone settles down and listens when you start to read a story out loud.
Anyhow, I'm with you on this...hang in there, you are on the right track dude!
All Good and of course, best of this great season!!
BP

 

[piper_chuck]

Re: Rethinking Christmas consumerism

One Christmas I sent my grandmother a bunch of edible things from NC rather than the typical knick knacks that everyone else had sent. She loved them. I have since done similar things with many other people.

 

[rbh]

Re: Rethinking Christmas consumerism

All adults put their name in a hat, It gets drawn against a list, you buy for one person, you never know what your going to get, $25 max per present.
kinda a fun way to keep up the spirit of the time.
kids get something, everyone gets a card and "THE LETTER" of the year.

 

[SuperNova]

Re: Rethinking Christmas consumerism

One Christmas I sent my grandmother a bunch of edible things from NC rather than the typical knick knacks that everyone else had sent. She loved them. I have since done similar things with many other people.

All adults put their name in a hat, It gets drawn against a list, you buy for one person, you never know what your going to get, $25 max per present.
kinda a fun way to keep up the spirit of the time.
kids get something, everyone gets a card and "THE LETTER" of the year.

These are both GREAT ideas for reducing the cost of Christmas, and ones we currently use as well, but that's not really what I was talking about.

 

[JB]

Re: Rethinking Christmas consumerism

All adults put their name in a hat, It gets drawn against a list, you buy for one person, you never know what your going to get, $25 max per present.
kinda a fun way to keep up the spirit of the time.
kids get something, everyone gets a card and "THE LETTER" of the year.

My clan does the same, rbh, but. . . .JB just can't resist inexpensive keepsakes for his dearly beloved.

In the past I did something entirely different: I sent cards that said, in effect, "Such and such homeless shelter has received a $100 gift in your name." or something close. Sometime there is a poor family close by that needs food, clothing, even a rent payment.

I still do some of that, but I do it in my own name or anonymously. Can't do as much as in the past because I have given away most of what I had left of my retirement savings.

 

[skargo]

Re: Rethinking Christmas consumerism

Right on Stan, I think the whole thing is ridiculous!

I tell everyone I don't want, nor need anything, yet still get all kinds of stuff.

I wish everyone would just donate to charity or something.

 

[rbh]

Re: Rethinking Christmas consumerism

My clan does the same, rbh, but. . . .JB just can't resist inexpensive keepsakes for his dearly beloved.

In the past I did something entirely different: I sent cards that said, in effect, "Such and such homeless shelter has received a $100 gift in your name." or something close. Sometime there is a poor family close by that needs food, clothing, even a rent payment.

I still do some of that, but I do it in my own name or anonymously. Can't do as much as in the past because I have given away most of what I had left of my retirement savings.

JB, you know, I know, and any one else thats married knows if you dont do something nice for the wifey over Christmas, its a trip to the doghouse.
"I will take what ever you give me for Christmas" does not include a new set of 3/4 inch drive impact sockets.
rob

 

[DECK SWABBER 58]

Re: Rethinking Christmas consumerism

My clan does the same, rbh, but. . . .JB just can't resist inexpensive keepsakes for his dearly beloved.

In the past I did something entirely different: I sent cards that said, in effect, "Such and such homeless shelter has received a $100 gift in your name." or something close. Sometime there is a poor family close by that needs food, clothing, even a rent payment.

I still do some of that, but I do it in my own name or anonymously. Can't do as much as in the past because I have given away most of what I had left of my retirement savings.

Right on Stan, I think the whole thing is ridiculous!

I tell everyone I don't want, nor need anything, yet still get all kinds of stuff.

I wish everyone would just donate to charity or something.

Yes, are right on super nova.

Helping those less fortunate then us is what the season should be about.

I don't have a lot of family so gift's are not a big issue.
I am making donation's to favorite charities and we will probably invite a couple of people over for dinner that have no where to go.

 

[DECK SWABBER 58]

Re: Rethinking Christmas consumerism

JB, you know, I know, and any one else thats married knows if you dont do something nice for the wifey over Christmas, its a trip to the doghouse.
"I will take what ever you give me for Christmas" does not include a new set of 3/4 inch drive impact sockets.
rob

My significant other is not like that at all. She would be thrilled if I gave her a
card saying I made a donation in her name to the local homeless shelter.

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: Rethinking Christmas consumerism

My wife is the last born out of twelve (yes twelve!!!) children. Christmas is a huge time of year for her as she grew up with nothing. She starts right after Thanksgiving decorating the house from top to bottom. I help decorate the tree but stop there.
She firmly believes that she has to buy a gift for every razzlefrazzle person on the planet. Meanwhile, I'm watching the credit card bill soar into the stratosphere.

I own a boat and way too much fishing tackle. Pleeeeease don't give me anything for my hobby. If I want it, I'll buy it myself and not get another new and wonderful Banjo Minnow system from you as a gift.
I am perfectly happy to receive a card that acknowledges that you thought of me. That's enough. However, I do like good Bourbon and will gladly accept and promptly convert to urine your thoughtful gift.

We have 3 grown children and 3 grandchildren (all from our daughter). They fall into another category and I have no problem in giving them gifts. My grown sons need cash more than a new pair of house slippers. I just give them cash. NOT a gift card that they have to redeem at a certain store.Cash can be used however the recipient needs it. Gas for the car, rent, phone bill, whatever they need it for.

Bah, humbug to all.

 

[a70eliminator]

Re: Rethinking Christmas consumerism

Christmas is a time of year for togetherness, people caring for one another family friend or stranger should be there all year not just Christmas. And what is the real meaning of Cristmas? I am a Christian and know when Christ was born and it wasn't the 25th of Dec. or was it? I'm confused.
I don't know what the heck I'm going to get my wife, something sparkley I guess.

 

[paulspaddle]

Re: Rethinking Christmas consumerism

You might be interested in this site.

http://www.buynothingchristmas.org/

It's not all 'buy nothing' but be responsible in your buying. Seems to be a bit dated though.

We try to do this with our buying:
1. locally....from anyone we know who works at a store, owns a store ect...
2. Canadian (love you too Americans, but we have our loyalties)
3. Free Trade / support (countries and individuals) less fortunate
4. Anti Walmart

A few years back we bought absolutely nothing at Christmas, no gifts, no tree, no purchase of decorations ect....to be honest....it sucked. Now we buy and do our best to stay within budget.

 

[itsaboattime]

Re: Rethinking Christmas consumerism

Nova......I think I understand.

Your getting to where I've been for a while. I call it "Christmas sensory overload". You want everybody to have a great christmas but it feels like it's all missing the point?? Christmas shouldn't be about who got what gift. You look at the holiday, your wallet, and then your kids and family.

Everybody seems to have everything they need and you wonder what else you could possibly get them that they would ever need or appreciate.

I'm hoping this year will be different.

 

[kenmyfam]

Re: Rethinking Christmas consumerism

Wherever you go and whatever you do at this time of year, someone is asking for money. We give year round to our selected "good causes" and Christmas is no different.
Get's a bit much at times.You stop at a traffic light and people are selling some newspaper for a charity and glare at you if you do not already have one on top of your dashboard in the hope you will "buy one"
Giving willingly to charities of your choice is a good thing but the line has to be drawn somewhere.

 

[rbh]

Re: Rethinking Christmas consumerism

My significant other is not like that at all. She would be thrilled if I gave her a
card saying I made a donation in her name to the local homeless shelter.

Yes, but have you ever attempted to give her tools of any type.

 

[SuzukiChopper]

Re: Rethinking Christmas consumerism

I will buy for my mom, dad, 2 sisters, GF and this year one person from her family (secret Santa). My dad is like me though, he has everything he needs and doesn't want more random stuff that will just sit in a box. Last year I finally went through stuff I got 2 years previous. The last few years for my mom it has usually been a bulk purchase (dad) and all of our names go on it. This year she's getting a stand-up mixer because she loves to bake and cook and fills her retirement hours doing that. Sister's will probably get gift cards or little random things they really do need.

For the rest of the family (because we usually always have an x-mas dinner with everyone), ever since I saw the recipe for the brined Turkey on this site.... I've been doing a 10 - 12lb brined Chicken. Takes some cooking load off everyone else, there are never left overs, and everyone is still amazed I can cook and will cook.

The receiving a gift thing for me wore out when I was 12. I haven't even had a birthday party since I was 10. Just pizza with my sister's and parents is good enough for me! Unfortunately with all of this, I do like giving gifts if I know someone does need something and seeing them smile and happy this time of year. Like the rest of you though, I don't need or want anything in return. A thank you, handshake, smile, whatever is more then enough for me. It's also not just this time of year either, I practice that all year, every day.