some input on alcohol/boats

[tpenfield]

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

I think that there is a word for the cousin's condition. Just bring water & soda on the boat . . .

If need be, for safety sake, the boat could mysteriously have a mechanical problem and not be available for use when the cousin is visiting . . .

 

[gm280]

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

See how the OP is from Georgia, Georgia has just made a huge change to the drinking boating rules/law. It use to be .1 was considered too drunk, but not it is the same as drinking and driving a vehicle... .080! First of all it is your boat and your rules. If something ugly did happen to any passenger, guess who will be charged...? So stick to your rules and make everybody else obey them or off-the-boat... You are, after all, the Captain of your ship...

 

[H20Rat]

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

Easy fix... Tell her you are going to treat everyone and buy all the alcohol, nobody has to worry about bringing any drinks! And then buy odouls. (Technically NA beer still has trace amounts of alcohol)

 

[agallant80]

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

Easy fix... Tell her you are going to treat everyone and buy all the alcohol, nobody has to worry about bringing any drinks! And then buy odouls. (Technically NA beer still has trace amounts of alcohol)

I would go with that. There are family politics involved here. Say that you are treating then limit the amount of alcohol you bring. Or you can go with a little white lie like its the 4th and the cops will be watching and alcohol is not allowed where we are going so I don't want to sneak it on the boat this time.

 

[JB]

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

I think my rule, while not popular with all possible guests, is a simple, foolproof way to avoid people dying. The operator of a boat is responsible for the behavior of all passengers. If there is a bad incident, YOU are at fault.

I did not allow any alcohol aboard my boat. I always had plenty of Gatoraid and other safe beverages aboard. I suppose some people stayed home because of that, but I didn't miss them.

It is not that I am a teetotaler, I enjoy a dram of single malt or a beer when safe ashore, where drinking responsibly is anyone's choice.

Actually, I do not enjoy the company of those who must drink to have a good time.

 

[moosehead]

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

...its my rules and my boat...

^this

+10 to an individual or two having hurt feelings vs. risking life and limb to dumb arse behavior. I realize the delicacies involving your spouse, but I'm going to go ahead and say it - she is just as guilty by enabling her cousin and putting others in harms way while doing so.

 

[greenbush future]

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

Why would your wife invite a person that has cause you some concern? Better communication between you and your wife might be the best thing for your situation. You did state that your wife invited her back correct? Why?

 

[H20Rat]

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

I would go with that. There are family politics involved here.

That is a key part... Saying you are laying down the hard line and not allowing this person on board will very likely start a very, very ugly chain of events. (think hatfields and mccoys!) Never, ever put your wife into a position of choosing family or you, as it will never end well.

 

[jayhanig]

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

As I look at this, it seems to me alchohol isn't really the problem; it's the cousin's abuse of it. I'd be inclined to tell her she can come without alcohol or she's not welcome at all. If your buddies also drink but don't cause problems, why punish them for your wife's cousin's alcoholism? If she decides to go, I'd appeal to anybody else going to not bring any alcohol "just this once". Your friends will understand.

I suspect she will take offense and not go, which is a win-win. Your wife's position is unsupportable; I don't care if the cousin is part of her family. I'd say the same if it were her father.

Ultimately, I ask what would you do if family wasn't involved? Your wife will get over it. It's not like there really isn't a problem and you're just picking on the cousin.

 

[BRICH1260]

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

I allow alcholol on my boat and about everyone I boat with does the same. I see it not with a problem of alcohol itself but the abuse/excess of it. Some of the things your wife`s cousin has done is inexcusable, on land or water. She obviously has a problem of self control. I would inform my wife that if her cousin is allowed to boat, that her drinking will be controlled, forceably if necessary. If not she will be dropped off at the dock.

 

[crabby captain john]

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

I allow alcholol on my boat and about everyone I boat with does the same. I see it not with a problem of alcohol itself but the abuse/excess of it. Some of the things your wife`s cousin has done is inexcusable, on land or water. She obviously has a problem of self control. I would inform my wife that if her cousin is allowed to boat, that her drinking will be controlled, forceably if necessary. If not she will be dropped off at the dock.

Why return to the dock if there is an island sand bar nearby?

 

[shrew]

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

There is no reason to punish everyone else for the behavior of one individual. You can't really sit there and say it's my boat and i say who drinks and who doesn't. Yes, you CAN, but you'll be boating alone. If you won't get support from your wife, then task her with the responsibility of her cousin. Ask her cousin to do something once, then ride the wife like a rented mule the next five times when the cousin doesn't listen. "She's still jumping around, would you please get that taken care of?" "She's still not sitting down, could you get on that please?"

If the wife gets upset remind her that her cousin is there AGAINST your request and she did agree to be responsible for her. Essentially, remind her that it is her cousin and her cousins behavior she should be frustrated with, not yours.

 

[Bill3434]

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

Your boat, your rules. No discussion. Or you could let her drink and the first sign of stupid drop her off on an island or far shore and the rest of you could enjoy some boating without her. My rule would be, stupid on my boat it will be the last time you are on my boat. You don't have a problem; she's the problem.

 

[emilsr]

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

I'm with Jay; this isn't about alcohol, it's about inappropriate behavior. Alcohol is just the scapegoat.

The family politics will be difficult to deal with and I don't envy you there, but bottom line is this:

As the captain of the vessel, YOU are responsible for the safety of everyone on board. You're in charge; nobody else is. That means you've got to do whatever you've got to do to keep everyone safe. Easier said than done, but your responsibility as the boat captain trumps everything else. If you think she can't drink on the boat without being a hazard, then by God she can't drink on the boat. End of story. She may not like it, but you'll get support from boaters like us.

Good luck.

 

[gm280]

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

It seems quite obvious that the consensus here with all the commentaries is the alcoholic cousin, and since she has a problem with alcohol, maybe you and your wife needs to have a serious sit down talk about her over whelming addiction issues and see if you both can get her some professional help. It will only get worst and you don't know, you could even be saving her life... People that do indulge to extremes will do something one day that they will either regret or kill themselves and/or others while intoxicated. To many issues here with her to let her onboard and drinking to intoxication again...

 

[Home Cookin']

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

I think the OP knows the answer to his question and, also knowing the various relationships that we don't, knows that the answer will not be accepted by his wife. Who are we to say "your wife ought to do this or not that?" Anyone who knows marriage knows the reality of that!

None of the solutions end up in happy land. This the nature of many, perhaps most, family-driven issues; the family side sends all rational solutions off balance.

OP, you have our support and sympathy, but you are going to end up either taking her again, or going on a guy's fishing trip instead--maybe just one guy, you. That's where I'm betting.

 

[moosehead]

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

All good and experienced husbands understand the rule that the wife is right even when she's wrong.

Except in unusual circumstances. Such as when folks are being put in harm's way. That's exactly when I would push back and take a stand with my better half. That's perhaps the only time she would allow it, even if reluctantly.

We're no tee totallers, and alcohol in moderation is fine, but dangerous behavior is prohibited on board, period. My wife and kids do not need to be reminded of that rule, either.

Good luck, Captain. Hope it works out positively for you, the Mrs., and the cousin.

 

[jbach]

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

all this talk and nobody even asked if the cousin is hot or not? some drunk pictures of her irresponsibly dancing on the boat are needed to make a more informed decision in this case.

 

[pikefisherman]

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

Have them bring their own boat and they can do what they want but really your boat, your rules.

 

[lakegeorge]

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

Allow her 2 beers and if she complains then tell her tough sh!t.
PS, your wife won't stay mad long.