To those fellas been that been married a long time

[cgd7777777]

Well like i said a few weeks ago mywife had a hysterectmy
surgery went fine but the EMOTIONS now!!!!:facepalm:
This is horrible...I know her horemones are all out of wack and i am doing the best i can and just haveing a really tuff time. I am doing all house work, kids breakfast lunches off to school and the little one to day care so she dosent have to worry about him and waiting on her and work ect. Just tuff when she is not being nice at all
Just looking for any advice to anybody thats been thru the same

 

[eastont]

Re: To those fellas been that been married a long time

Wait until the "change" comes. I've been through both and all I can say is remember you love her, and if the table were to be turned, how would she deal with it?

Good luck

 

[JRJ]

Re: To those fellas been that been married a long time

Talk to her Dr. about the moods. Help is possible, but as with most things, there are tradeoffs. We just ignore each other.....Good luck.

 

[rbh]

Re: To those fellas been that been married a long time

You need to sit her down and have a straight talk no BS'ing.
Does she reconize the fact that she has changed since her operation "mentally".

Lack of patience, irratability ETC.

Let her know that You are concerned with her health and welfare, and that she may need to start using estregen or what ever they give to women to jack up their horemone levels.

 

[sasto]

Re: To those fellas been that been married a long time

Going thru this with my lady.....I have no clue of what to do......Will be following this.

 

[1980Coronado]

Re: To those fellas been that been married a long time

+1 on talk to her and the Dr.....Some of this may be the psychological impact of having lost some of her femininity as well as the hormone issue. Don't ignore it.

 

[MH Hawker]

Re: To those fellas been that been married a long time

I am on my second wife , and second change of life thing. It will pass. We were at the hospital awhile back for her to have a procedure and during a talk with her Dr he said you know she is going through the change and I replied yea I know this is my second time around with this he looked up and asked how do you handle it I replied I fish a lot and he snickered.

 

[Cap’n Ray]

My wife had a partial hysterectomy a few years ago, 'bout drove me nuts too. There's alot said above that sounds all too familiar!! The Admiral and I have a unique relationship, but regardless of the circumstances, the best thing ANY one can do is communicate!! Find a way to say what you feel without being confrontational. It will benefit all concerned in the long run. Never give up, it could be worse, and this is the one you committed to spend the rest of your life with- honor that promise and you'll both be happier. I know we are now!

 

[island mike]

Re: To those fellas been that been married a long time

Mine is going through menopause....For about some 46 years now (just kidding)
All I can say that its hard,On both of us .Both of us being hotheaded (and latin)so its easy to start a fight over nothing if you dont put your ego aside and dont react to the random verbal atacks sometimes..Just keep in mind she cant help it.
We visited a nutrisionist a couple of days ago,adviced her on wich foods etc.Also adviced her to stop using anticonception pills wich she did...
Lets see what happens,At least she has always admitted that she has this issue,And willing to do something about it.
In the worst case scenario(Or the best) If it gets real bad I go and sleep in my boat....
Good luck.
I mike

 

[sasto]

Re: To those fellas been that been married a long time

) If it gets real bad I go and sleep in my boat....
Good luck.
I mike

Yup.....that's where I'm at.

The other Island Mike.

 

[Fireman431]

Re: To those fellas been that been married a long time

The answer is staring you in the face and you're missing it (Sasto...I'm surprised at you...)

Beer
Rum
Vodka
Whiskey
Scotch
Tequila
Lortab
Oxycontin
Demerol

.....heck, she might even try some of these, too

 

[mommicked]

Re: To those fellas been that been married a long time

I've been getting lot's of practice every month for many years. I'm not scared!! I do wish you and your wife patience and understanding in this difficult time. I'm no expert, but I think it will get better after awhile.

 

[GA_Boater]

Re: To those fellas been that been married a long time

Guys, this is the equivalent to us being castrated. In a women's mind she is no longer a "woman", just as a male losing the jewels is no longer a "man". Keep in mind body parts do not define a person. A lot of the emotions are psychological and add the hormonal change - you just have to be loving and supportive. It will pass.

 

[jims plan b]

Re: To those fellas been that been married a long time

What GA_Boater said.....

Been there and done that,,,,You did not say how old she is , number of kids ect.ect. mine is 45 now and we have 5 kids ...she or i do not want any more but 10 years after the hysterectmy she still says she misses the fact that she cant have any more..... It will get better with time

 

[sasto]

Re: To those fellas been that been married a long time

The answer is staring you in the face and you're missing it (Sasto...I'm surprised at you...)

Beer
Rum
Vodka
Whiskey
Scotch
Tequila
Lortab
Oxycontin
Demerol

.....heck, she might even try some of these, too

Well I have the first one mastered. Rum does tickle me fancy.

Geez Fireman, you've met me.....I'm nuts enough!

Now her? You may be on to something.

Good advice here for a guy that has been single, self sufficient, and enjoying the bachelor life for several years. I can't figure this out.


Sitting in the cockpit again....sasto

 

[bruceb58]

Re: To those fellas been that been married a long time

Went through this with my ex-wife that went through her change when she was in her early forties. I believe this is a huge reason she is now an "ex".

 

[mommicked]

Re: To those fellas been that been married a long time

I would like to apoligize for my first reply, I assume the big H is similar to menopause w symptoms, mood swings, anger, lashing out, etc. but as ive stated before I am no expert. I do have alot of experience w these types of behavior though, I've joked to my wife of 25 yrs. that she's going through menopause for years now. I have learned to give her space, and try to be nice when she's out of her mind, and sometimes I just leave her alone for a while when I sense she's having a particularly intense battle w her hormones. She always wants to apoligize when she comes to her senses again, even when I tell her over and again I understand why this happens and saying she's sorry is not needed. She was put on the pill at a young age to regulate her cycles, and taken off it years ago. Thats when the monthly problems started. Hang in there cgd.

 

[island mike]

Re: To those fellas been that been married a long time

I would like to apoligize for my first reply, I assume the big H is similar to menopause w symptoms, mood swings, anger, lashing out, etc. but as ive stated before I am no expert. I do have alot of experience w these types of behavior though, I've joked to my wife of 25 yrs. that she's going through menopause for years now. I have learned to give her space, and try to be nice when she's out of her mind, and sometimes I just leave her alone for a while when I sense she's having a particularly intense battle w her hormones. She always wants to apoligize when she comes to her senses again, even when I tell her over and again I understand why this happens and saying she's sorry is not needed. She was put on the pill at a young age to regulate her cycles, and taken off it years ago. Thats when the monthly problems started. Hang in there cgd.

WHAT!!!!!!!!! thats when the problems start you say???? I will talk to my wife about taking those pills...Shes been off them for about wife days now, (And I thought it couldnt get any worse!!!! )

 

[island mike]

Re: To those fellas been that been married a long time

Yup.....that's where I'm at.

The other Island Mike.

Sasto,If it gets really bad come over to bonaire...we can both sleep in our boats....:facepalm:

 

[cgd7777777]

Re: To those fellas been that been married a long time

she is 28 we have 2 kids and we already decided on no more kids
today has been better she put on makeup and not pj's and we took the kiddos to a Christmas parade
tomorrow a friend is taking her to a movie

yeah she feels like she has lost her womanhood
I am learning to be a listner...when she tells me how she is feeling she does NOT want any answers from me just some understanding
I am not known for my patients or putting on a happy face or being very compassionate but I am working on it!
I got her to go to the Dr. Tomorrow so I am excited
thanks for all the ideas and it always helps to talk