We need a blonde joke

[Bob_VT]

I know I am going to be killed for doing this by Ladyfish :redface:

It just seems like jokes are related to good weather..................

I awoke this morning and it was 3 degrees above zero and in the true spirit of the North....... a few hours later and it is 3 degrees below zero I can't believe as the sun came up we lost 6 degrees!!!




Forgive me Ladyfish!!!





A blonde gets a job as a teacher.
During recess, she notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
"You OK?" she asks.
"Yes," he says.
"You can go and play with the other kids, you know," she says.
"It's best I stay here," he says.
"Why?" asks the blonde.
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And the boys says: "Because I'm the goalie!"

 

[tashasdaddy]

Re: We need a blonde joke

Lol.

 

[aspeck]

Re: We need a blonde joke

Why do we need another Blonde joke? Don't we have Ladyfish?

Okay, I am running and hiding now ... just kidding, Ladyfish! Love ya!

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: We need a blonde joke

Two blondes, a Rabbi, and a Priest walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke."

Sorry, best I could do on short notice:redface:

 

[mphy98]

Re: We need a blonde joke

OK i will get in trouble like the rest of you!!

How do you drown a blonde?


Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool!

 

[CN Spots]

Re: We need a blonde joke

A blonde, driving down a country road spots another blonde sitting in a row boat in the middle of a dry field rowing as hard as she can. The first blonde pulls the car over, runs to the fence and yells "you know, it's blonds like you that give us a bad name! -and if I could swim I'd come out there and kick your butt!!"

 

[JB]

Re: We need a blonde joke

I have 2 blonde daughters. . .well, a few silver threads among the gold. . . who both have IQs over 130. They made jokes about women who are well endowed until a well endowed blonde married their brother.

Now they make jokes about blonde wannabes who change their hair color to pretend they are blondes.

 

[david_r]

Re: We need a blonde joke

how do you make a blondes eyes sparkle?
shine a flashlight in her ear

how do you change a blondes mind?
blow in her ear

how can you tell when a blonde has used your computer?
theres white out on the screen

why will a blonde laugh at a joke 4 times?
once when you tell the joke, once when you tell her the punch line, once when you explain the punch line, and once when she finally gets it.

how do you keep a blonde busy all day?
give her a bag of m&m's and tell her to alphabetize them

why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory quality control dept.?
she kept throwing out the w's

why dont blondes eat pickles?
they cant get their heads in the jar

ive got more........the sad thing is im blonde too........does that count as irony or as another joke?!

this one is my favorite:

a blonde decides to go horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.
she mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.
it gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
in terror she grabs the horses mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.
she tries to throw her arms around the horses neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.
the horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.
finally giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
unfortunately her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horses pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.
as her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when the wal-mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

 

[fishrdan]

Re: We need a blonde joke

3 blonds are having an argument..

1st one yells "THEM'S DEER TRACKS"

2nd one yells "THEM"S BEAR TRACKS"

... before the 3rd one could get anything out... a train mows them down

 

[CheapboatKev]

Re: We need a blonde joke

theres a blonde standing on a river bank..
She notices another blonde on the opposite bank so she yells out..
How do I get to the other side?

The other blonde yells back..You already are stupid!

EDIT:

 

[LadyFish]

Re: We need a blonde joke

OMG Y'all !!!

I'm making a list.

Bob_VT
aspeck *
a70eliminator
CheapboatKev
fishrdan
david_r
CN Spots
mphy98
Tyme2fish
tashasdaddy

* Fate to be determined

 

[chiefalen]

Re: We need a blonde joke

How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb?

3 one to hold the bulb and 2 to turn the ladder

 

[jay_merrill]

Re: We need a blonde joke

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

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Is it mine?

 

[david_r]

Re: We need a blonde joke

OMG Y'all !!!

I'm making a list.

Bob_VT
aspeck *
a70eliminator
CheapboatKev
fishrdan
david_r
CN Spots
mphy98
Tyme2fish
tashasdaddy

* Fate to be determined

i was wondering why my ears were burning ...............aspeck, you ok?!

maybe someone should call and check on him to see if he has burst into flames.

 

[gonefishie]

Re: We need a blonde joke

The Mall of America in Minnesota experienced a rare power outtage. 23 blonde shoppers were stuck on an escalator for 4 hours.

 

[aspeck]

Re: We need a blonde joke

OMG Y'all !!!

I'm making a list.

Bob_VT
aspeck *
a70eliminator
CheapboatKev
fishrdan
david_r
CN Spots
mphy98
Tyme2fish
tashasdaddy

* Fate to be determined

KEWL! I made the list and I even get a special asterik after my name! LF must think I am special!

Look what YOU started, Bob! Why are you always getting me in trouble???? I'm gonna tell Bruno if you don't start behaving (and if LF let's me live long enough)!

 

[dave4151]

Re: We need a blonde joke

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blond catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.


The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again.
She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.

Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again.

All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.

When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blond.


He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says...


"Hi, my name is Mark, it's winter in Ohio and I'm driving the
SALT TRUCK!"

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: We need a blonde joke

OMG Y'all !!!

I'm making a list.

Bob_VT
aspeck *
a70eliminator
CheapboatKev
fishrdan
david_r
CN Spots
mphy98
Tyme2fish
tashasdaddy

* Fate to be determined

Can I beg for forgiveness? All I said was that the blondes walked into a bar. You should be mad at the bartender!

 

[Tacklewasher]

Re: We need a blonde joke

Can I beg for forgiveness? All I said was that the blondes walked into a bar. You should be mad at the bartender!

You would think that after the first two walked into it, the third one would have known to duck....................

 

[axeslinger1957]

Re: We need a blonde joke

I might as well try to deflect some of the blame. Here goes...

What do you call it when a blonde colors her hair?

Artificial intelligence!

Runs...