We need a blonde joke

Nova II 260

Senior Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Jul 27, 2006
Messages
681
Re: We need a blonde joke

A blond and her husband are lying in bed listening to the
next-door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for
hours and hours.

The blonde jumps up out of bed and says "I've had
enough of this," and she goes downstairs.
The blonde finally comes back up to bed.
Her husband says, "The dog is still barking. What have
you been doing?"


The blonde says "I put the dog in our backyard.
Let's see how THEY like it!
 

Bob_VT

Moderator & Unofficial iBoats Historian
Staff member
Joined
May 19, 2001
Messages
26,077
Re: We need a blonde joke

Gentlemen...... I am to blame. Either these stay PG rated clean or I have to lock it up.

I had to delete a few that were too close to the line and out of repect they are gone.:rolleyes:
 

Tacklewasher

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Sep 18, 2002
Messages
1,588
Re: We need a blonde joke

This is where we miss SBN the most.

A blonde and a redhead are watching the 6 o'clock news one evening. The redhead bets the blonde $50 that the man in the lead story, who is threatening to jump from a 40 story building, will jump. "I'll take that bet," the blonde replied.

A few minutes later, the newscaster breaks in to report that the man had, indeed, jumped from the building. The redhead, feeling sudden guilt for having bet on such an incident, turns to the blonde and tells her that she does not need to pay the $50.

"No, a bet's a bet," the blonde replies, "I owe you fifty dollars."

The redhead, feeling even more guilty, replies "No, you don't understand, I saw the 5 o'clock edition, so I knew how it was going to turn out."

That's okay," the blonde replies, "I saw it earlier too,
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but I didn't think he'd do it again." :D :D
 

Clam Biter

Cadet
Joined
Jan 23, 2009
Messages
18
Re: We need a blonde joke

AS the father of two blonde kids I have to know the answer to the bit about alfabatizing M7Ms. I know that the "M" comes before the "W", but the big question is: Does the "E" come before or after the "3"?
 

mthieme

Captain
Joined
Oct 6, 2007
Messages
3,270
Re: We need a blonde joke

What do you call a blond at the bottom of the pool?
An air bubble.
 

LadyFish

Admiral
Joined
Mar 18, 2003
Messages
6,894
Re: We need a blonde joke

2ioj6d.gif
 

mthieme

Captain
Joined
Oct 6, 2007
Messages
3,270
Re: We need a blonde joke

Forgive me, the temptation is toooo great and I'm weak.....

What do you call a blond avatar swinging a club?
 

SS MAYFLOAT

Admiral
Joined
May 17, 2001
Messages
6,372
Re: We need a blonde joke

Experience in these type threads have kept me off of Ladyfish's list :D........Some of you will never learn :D
 

mthieme

Captain
Joined
Oct 6, 2007
Messages
3,270
Re: We need a blonde joke

I wasn't on her list. I felt left out.
You think my last post should do it?
 

SuperNova

Lieutenant
Joined
Mar 16, 2007
Messages
1,455
Re: We need a blonde joke

A blond Police officer pulls over a speeder. She walks up to the window and asks for I.D. The blond driver asks what she means and the cop says "You know, it's the thng in your purse with your picture on it" So the driver digs thru her purse looking for something with her picture....she opens her compact and says "Oh here it is" and hands it to the cop. The cop opens it and looks at it and says " Oh...if I had known you were a fellow officer, I'd have let you go".
 

jay_merrill

Vice Admiral
Joined
Dec 5, 2007
Messages
5,653
Re: We need a blonde joke

{jaym is pretty sure that LF is visiting a voodoo shop in New Orleans about now to stock up on some voodoo dolls and pins, for those of us with blonde jokes!}
 

aspeck

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
May 29, 2003
Messages
19,231
Re: We need a blonde joke

I have a sharp pain in my neck ... could it be from the pin in the doll? :D
 

jay_merrill

Vice Admiral
Joined
Dec 5, 2007
Messages
5,653
Re: We need a blonde joke

An old man finds out that he has terminal cancer, with only weeks to live. He is reasonably well off, with $300,000 left in his bank accounts. His three daughters, a redhead, a brunette and a blonde, are pretty well off too and don't really need an inheritence. That being the case, the father cleans his accounts out, gives each one of them $100,000 and tells them that he wants to die with his money, so they should put it in his casket just before he is buried.

The daughters agree to do so, each stating that they will place the money in the casket at an point in time that is convenient for them, not too long before the funeral. The redhead puts her money in first, and goes home. The brunette shows up later that day, and remarks to herself that her daddy looked so good with all that money surrounding him. She adds her money. closes the casket and goes home. The blonde shows up last, does what she has to do and goes home to her family.

Ten years later, the three of them are at a family affair and the redhead suddenly says that she has a confession - she exclaims that she withheld $10,000 of the money and used it for a diamond ring! The brunette then begins to cry and confesses to keeping $20,000, which she used as a down payment on an expensive car!

The blonde then cries out, you two should be ashamed of yourselves! I'll have you know that I wrote a check for the full amount and put it in Daddy's casket!
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Then again, maybe the blonde isn't so dumb!
 

fishrdan

Admiral
Joined
Jan 25, 2008
Messages
6,989
Re: We need a blonde joke

OMG Y'all !!!

I'm making a list. ;)

Bob_VT
aspeck *
a70eliminator
CheapboatKev
fishrdan
david_r
CN Spots
mphy98
Tyme2fish
tashasdaddy

* Fate to be determined

Hmmm

I'm normally quite healthy and rarely sick, but caught a cold a few days ago, cough, sneezing, wheezing.... I wonder if LadyFish has special powers :confused:

I hope the rest of you are fairing well........
 
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