SoulWinner
Commander
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2002
- Messages
- 2,423
After a fire fight? Any fire fight is intense. It is the kind of thing that can forever change you. It can make a good person turn bad, a bad person turn good, any person become dead. You're fired on and you respond. You ( if you keep a real cool head )sight in a target. A million thoughts race through your head "wow, did I just get shot at? Am I hit? are my buddies ok? Is this a real guy I'm fixing to squeeze on? Am I gunna live through this? Will I be killed? will it hurt? what will my wife do if I die? "Etc... and you squeeze. Three rounds ring out so fast. One chasing another, they fly our of the breech and down the barrel. Out of the muzzle the fly like three little birds on some aimless migration. Off they fly in to the air, to find or lose their intended target. This goes on and on and on for eternity until it stops.<br /><br />You, if you are still alive afterward you are mad. Angry. Incensed. Outraged!!! How and why would anyone shoot at ME?!?! What were they thinking? How many were there? Am I damn sure I'm still alive? <br />What calms you down after such calamity and alarm? <br /><br />Inspecting the dead and looking into the lifeless eyes of a man that you shot. <br /><br />Looking into the lifeless eyes of the guy who WAS crouched next to you will only send you into a psychotic rage...you know his name, you've met his wife, you adore his kids.... That will put the lust for blood in your heart. You will look for revenge in anything living thing to which you can inflict pain and torment. But to look into the eyes of dead man, whom you yourself killed, will take the hate away....take away the anger...and make you want to tear off your clothes and run away into a river to wash away the terror and hatred of the entire experience. You want to talk to the guy. Know about his life, his family, his hopes and dreams. The adrenalin is gone. The thought of taking a wiz is gone. The thought of your next meal repulses you. You want to be as far away from that place as you can get, held in the arms of a little delicate woman. Held there so you can feel safe in her little arms. Weird huh? <br /><br />I don't know where this is coming from, or how I think you should respond......I know that I have gone from the most vile human specimen to the most happy. I live in that place the Walgreen commercials talk about...I live in Perfect. My life today is perfect. I am happy. I have no fear. Really, I don't fear anything, confined spaces, heights, depths, death....nothing. I give no thought for the morrow, because the morrow will take thought for it's self. I never thought life could really be this good, but it's even better than that!<br /><br />If there are any vets here, or anybody who has been through a frightening episode, what calmed you down? What if anything drained the adrenalin out you? Today I sleep like a baby, do you?