Wife told me she is not into boating as much

[yamaha99phx]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Lots of good advice here but what you really need is to know why she doesn?t like to go. Only she can answer that for you. She might not know exactly why she doesn?t enjoy it so it may take some time.

Once you know what the problem is then you can work on a solution

 

[riptorn]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Bekosh thanks for the link.
Home Cooking I appreciate the time you took to reply. Very informative post. Let add I was surprised with my wife comments about not liking boating like I do. She was excited to find the boat. Our first year was exciting for everyone. Now the excitement has worn off. Not for me that is. So what happened? They got bored with boating I assume. If they want to sleep in they will have to put up with the Heat and busy lake. For me It doesn’t bother me any. I agree get some of their friends out on the boat. Whip them around on the tube.
Ajhgraz. I offered my wife to be the drive the boat. She only wants to drive when I’m skiing that is because she has too.

I don't think my wife would like to drive the boat some of the time. I would like her to be the spotter and film the kids and friends and enjoy.
It's my boat and I am the Captain.

My sister in law is just itching to take the kids out tubing. she's getting her boat license this summer. lol.....?

 

[jdlough]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

I know what you're thinking. Stop that. Just forget it. Neither the wife, or the Sister-in-law will go for it.

Nope. Wife and her lawyer will take your boat. Just forget it.


Unless........... Got any pics of the S-I-L?

 

[BonairII]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

There are some good suggestions here, but unfortunately the whole situation boils down to the fact that most of the Op's family just isn't interested in boating.

I don't think any amount of compromising or wheeling and dealing with the family is going to change their minds on the subject.

Probably time to accept the fact that boating regularly with the family is coming to an end. If the Op is going to constantly have to come up with "ruses" to get the family to go boating....it won't be long before boating starts to become a chore for him rather than something fun.

 

[southkogs]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

AZ: I'm going to suggest something: It ain't about the boating.

Start off by asking your wife what it is she doesn't like about it. Don't worry about the answer too much - it may be a little tough to hear, but it may also help figure some things out. Most likely, she doesn't want you to give the boat up ... or to give her up

Second - figure out engaging your kids. You mentioned all of the electronic and online activities (ironic I'm typing this on an internet forum ). Find a way to break into your kids worlds a little bit and solve that part regardless of the boat. It may mean doing it kid by kid (what works for one, might not work for the other). You might find solving the issue of time with your kids, solves the issue of time as a family. If you solve the issue of spending time as a family ... you might just solve the issue of the boat.

Make sure you don't have a "family" problem (and I'm not implying anything way crazy either; just normal relational stuff) that is just kinda' showing up in a "boating" problem.

BTW - The lake we typically boat on is 30 minutes away. Generally, we go out for no more than 2 or three hours at a time. That makes for a total of about 4 hours away from the house. It gets it outta' my system, and everyone has some "day" left over. (we do a few bigger days each year but no where near as many as just getting out for a bit) - you might try some "bite size chunks," y'know?

Hang in buddy.

 

[Jeep Man]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Possibly it is the type of boating. I knew my wife would not like going fast or be pounded to death on rough water. Fortunately, my "fast" days were behind me and as to boating, we were both in agreement that a pontoon boat suited both our needs with lots of room for family and friends. We go out just to cruise, swim, explore, and tube with the grandkids. Often we are out all day, and my wife brings her book and enjoy the scenery and a relaxing read. You may have to adjust your type of boating to reach a compromise or resign yourself to the fact that "family" boating may not be what you expected.

 

[riptorn]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

I know what you're thinking. Stop that. Just forget it. Neither the wife, or the Sister-in-law will go for it.
Nope. Wife and her lawyer will take your boat. Just forget it.
Unless........... Got any pics of the S-I-L?

LOL
Don't even go there jdlough. She is the youngest of the four and she found this boat from her friends. After being married 33 years she is a little sister to me. Yes,, she is hot. no pic. unless she wants.

Time for the water! what do you think AZBoatDreamer

 

[90stingray]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

My boating is not what i want it to be... but i make it work. Because any time on the water is better than not having a boat. We have 2 small kids and just go out for a couple hours one day on the weekend. But we cruise, stop and play at the beach, play in the water, anchor out, eat lunch or have snacks, wrap it up head in. Sometimes when the kids are at grandmas, we take other adults and have drinks and make a day of it. Sometimes it's just me and my dad... i pull him skiing and he pulls me skiing. But whatever it takes to be on the water. But i got my kids on the water at an early age... and now when they see the boat they just want to be inside of it and turn the wheel, honk the horn, run the radio, etc. Point is, you gotta find something that you can make work. Goodluck!

 

[scoutabout]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

I can relate AZ. We keep the boat at a family owned place up north and after near on twenty years of married life she is starting to make noises that the hassle of shopping, packing, driving, unpacking, packing, cleaning and maintaining the place and driving home all in one weekend is getting to her (sheesh it sounds bad even to me put that way!).

What has definitely helped is to discover and zero in on what she likes. In her case, kayaking was a chance discovery a few years ago so I bought her one and that has definitely helped. She lives to get out in that thing. Another was to institute "guy work weekends" where I would head up sans fam with a buddy to take care of some maintenance projects (between a beer or six) and that way address her complaints I was always working on the place while she sat alone on the deck. It was a slightly over the top accusation but I could see the grain of truth. Perception is everything! So after a dedicated work weekend, the next time up with her I force myself to leave the tools in the garage and just chill.

Bringing other couples as well helps as does suggesting once or twice she herself head up alone with a girlfriend or two for a chicks-only weekend. She really got a kick out of that the couple of times she's done it. Getting friends up for our son is starting to be a priority too. He's ten and I can see the resistance to leaving his buddies in the city is starting to kick in.

So, my plan is basically to reduce frustrations, emphasize the stuff they like, and admit that sometimes I'm just going to have to go it solo.

Good luck man.

 

[riptorn]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Well said scoutabout!
Stay healthy and fit. We'll be happy for a long time.

 

[LippCJ7]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Boating with my Wife and I in the evening at sunset is something we yet to do. I think I would get a good response from her with this Idea.

Lipp we do not have any boating friends. Agree we need boating family friends.
How close are you to Highlands Ranch CO? Im there for work about 6 times a year for work and didnt see much for boating other than a few Reservoirs.

Were about twenty miles from Highlands ranch, same county I'm just south, the closest res is Chatfield which is about ten miles west of Highlands ranch and is pretty much a puddle compared to AZ lakes, we go 100 miles south of Highlands Ranch to Pueblo res, about an hour roughly for me, much less traffic on the water and off its about Saguaro or Canyon size I think. But that's why we go to Big Mac, 22 miles long and a couple miles of White Sand beach that is first come first served camping, easily the best lake camping I have ever done anywhere including Powell but Powell is a different animal, 200 miles long and you really need a house boat to see everything and do it comfortably, last trip to Powell we loaded up 12 people and made a run to Rainbow bridge, while I enjoyed doing 50 miles per hour in my boat for an hour it would have been much easier to do it slow and easy. Let me know when you come up I'm sure I can talk the wife into a lake trip while your in town!

 

[lncoop]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

I remember reading last year's thread about the departure time controversy, and I just couldn't wrap my brain around the thought of forcing the family to wake up at dawn on Saturday just for a day on the lake. The compromise you reached was 7:00 a.m.? No wonder they don't want to go. Sorry, but if I were in your wife's shoes I'd take the same position. I understand your frustration with the fact that they're never ready to go when you are. Trust me, I really really do. My girls are never ready to go when I am (except the dog) but it sounds like the root of the problem is the fact that you need to relax your standards a little and be more realistic. If the lake is only thirty minutes away why not take two vehicles? You can hit the road whenever you want and they can come along later. Sure you'd burn a little extra gas, but it would be worth it. There's got to be a middle ground somewhere.

 

[floatfan]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

My teens are into Kindles, Play Stations, WII, Face Book, Netflix, Laptops, big screen tv’s and Cell phones. I got to break this cycle.

Maybe the guy that started the thread about building a boat out of ipads a month or so ago could help you build a boat your kids would enjoy more.

I know where you're coming from though. A couple of my nephews and some of my friends' kids won't put down the Nintendo DS or their iphones...even when on the boat. It just baffles me.

 

[JoLin]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

I remember reading last year's thread about the departure time controversy, and I just couldn't wrap my brain around the thought of forcing the family to wake up at dawn on Saturday just for a day on the lake. The compromise you reached was 7:00 a.m.? No wonder they don't want to go. Sorry, but if I were in your wife's shoes I'd take the same position. I understand your frustration with the fact that they're never ready to go when you are. Trust me, I really really do. My girls are never ready to go when I am (except the dog) but it sounds like the root of the problem is the fact that you need to relax your standards a little and be more realistic. If the lake is only thirty minutes away why not take two vehicles? You can hit the road whenever you want and they can come along later. Sure you'd burn a little extra gas, but it would be worth it. There's got to be a middle ground somewhere.

Totally agree with this. I simnply had to get used to the fact that we don't leave the dock until mid-late morning. My wife enjoys the boat as much as I do, but that's just the way it is. I often head to the boat on my own until she joins me. I can always find something to do on it, or I can relax with a cup of coffee, watch the boats and help the other boaters until we're ready to go. It ain't worth getting aggravated about.

My .02

 

[pokman]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Totally agree with Incoop,

Sounds like you are making it to stressful. I know you said you like to get out early and back early because of temps. But can't you go later, use your bimini, go beach somewhere with shade etc... I have to small kids and this is what we . I also feel your frustration as I am the type to get up early and want things done fast and correctly, but you need some wiggle room so your family has fun. Also find some boater friends, not everyone goes out in a boat and drinks all day. I am a family man first and foremost and 90% of the time I boat with my family, but the other 10% is spent with friends, fishing, skiing etc... I think you need to find that. Again only my 2 cents

 

[dingbat]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

For us, our hobbies are our get always.
My wife and I have had separate interests (she's horse person, I boat and fish) for the past 30 years and we like it that way. I get on a horse maybe one a year and she gets on the boat maybe once a year but neither one of use finds the other’s activities particularly enjoyable. I do not care to ride around on the back of a sweating horse and she does not like being be cooped up on a hot, rocking boat for hours on end at a time.

My 16 and 18 yro daughters go with me from time to time to get some sun and maybe a fish awhile but that’s about it. They would rather stay at home and lay around the pool

 

[oldjeep]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Your threads last year hold the key to what she is saying this year. There still might be time to turn it around, but it'll require you to wake up and realize that boating should be fun and not an overly scheduled grind.

 

[AZBoatDreamer]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Ok I let this thread cook over night and I had a feeling I would get all the reactions.
Friscoboater I cried to but I don’t think this is a lost cause. Everyone has given me some good Ideas.
Yamaha I do not fully understand why she doesn’t like to go. I guess I need to have a Heart to Heart with her even though I will be sad.
Bonairll your post makes me even sadder. I do a lot for my family and I hope my wife will atleast go boating with me so I can atleast ski. Also I want to take up wake boarding this summer.
Southkogs. Thanks for the advice. Like you said I got to get boating out of the “My” system. Even if its two hours at the lake if fine with me.
Jeep Man you have a point. My wife likes to go canoeing. I have an electric motor for our canoe so we don’t paddle. She likes the slow quite sightseeing boating. This is where we differ. I like canoeing but I like to go fast on our boat when the water is smooth. I like the speed of boating. All three boys have kayaks that we use for camping. They like to Kayak. I would like to get a pontoon and put it in a slip. So we have a boat for my speed fix and a Pontoon for relaxing.
So the camping season is coming upon us as well in AZ. Last night I said to the family lets plan a camping trip not this weekend but next. You should see all their faces light up. Even the dog. Do I get the reaction when I said lets go boating. Nope! OK I think I get it now.
Lipp I was at chatfield res april 1st just checking out the lake. I had lots of time on my hands that day. It was a sunny warm day and a couple days later it snowed. Go figure.
Incoop my compromised was 7:00am out the door. I think this was doable. Spend a summer in AZ and you will understand get in and get our early at the lakes.
Pokman and Old Jeep. I think you have zeroed in on me. I get frustrated when everyone isn’t out the door at a specific time. This goes with everything. Not just boating. I realize now I make it stressful.

 

[canuckjgc]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Yeah getting everyone out at 7am sounds nasty. We leave when we leave, usually 9am or 10am. But we don't have intense heat to worry about either. I bet if you just put boating aside for awhile and focussed on camping and having fun, they may come around again. Little give and take there.

 

[salty87]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

save the speed trials for your solo morning runs. most females aren't into that.

have you ever tried a weekday after work trip? i love a deserted lake and an empty parking lot/ramp is even better.

pack a bottle of wine or something that BOTH of you will like...no, grab something the wife will love. make the trip about her. cruise around at idle speed or whatever she wants to do, find a secluded spot and spend some time together. that's what she probably wants...time with people. meanwhile, you've been lining up trips like you're going with buddies...early morning, fast runs, etc.

whoever said the kids are bored is probably right. getting dragged around the lake like luggage gets old.