Wife told me she is not into boating as much

[Home Cookin']

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

regardnig the timing issue--I have the advantage of tides, which set the agenda when it comes to fishing. My wife and I love going fishing together, but when the tides don't work for her, I go by myself. But the best set-up is when the good tide is in the morning, not ungodly early, but earlier than she would usually want to go, she'll go a couple hours earlier than her preference, the crack of noon.

But we will still go when the tide's not right if it's an otherwise good day and time to go out. We jsut do other stuff, try a little fishing but don't focus on it.

AZ is setting his agenda on outside temps. Out by 7 am home by 11 am. He needs a different scheduler. Or move to tidal water!

 

[lncoop]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

I know it's frustrating, and I hope you don't think I was judging you. I bite my tongue a lot (major component of any good marriage) on Saturday mornings in the summer, but I think you're on the right track. Management of one's expectations is often the key to enjoyment of any pursuit.

 

[AZBoatDreamer]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Ok a quick summary.
I hope some of you have learned from my mistakes. Does this classified as boating mistakes. Not sure!
I think this is more deep rooted than that.
I have to be more in tune what my family likes to do as weekend activities.
Some bullet points to make boating a family activity and not just my obsession.
• Don’t try to force boating on my family.
• Don’t stress so much getting them out the door so early.
• Have them invite Friends.
• Go boating for short durations.
• Go romantic boating with Wife.
• Go boating alone if it comes to that. Boating alone is better than not boating.
• Find other activities to do with the boat beside turning and burning.
• Go to the lake early if I want and have family arrive later. This is very doable.
• Sell the boat. Over my dead Body.
• Take the trailer and boat to the lake. This is doable at the lake 30 minutes away. I would tow one and go back home and tow the other.
• Get the kids away from Electronics. I think every teen parent has this problem.
• Make boating more relaxing for wife.
• Ask kids what they like to do at the lake.
Thank you everyone. I started this thread because I know you good people would have some advice. Also I wanted to see if anyone else was in the same boat “Pun intended” as I am.

 

[AZBoatDreamer]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Incoop no worries. Its not only the heat but the boating traffic as well. It gets busy.
Canuckjgc at 10am the temps are over a 100 in August.

 

[ezmobee]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

So the camping season is coming upon us as well in AZ. Last night I said to the family lets plan a camping trip not this weekend but next. You should see all their faces light up. Even the dog. Do I get the reaction when I said lets go boating. Nope! OK I think I get it now.

This is a huge positive. It's not like your family is a bunch of stick-in-the-muds! or completely inseparable from their electronics. I think you'll be able to reach a mutually beneficial arrangement.

 

[LippCJ7]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

April 1st huh, was there still ice on the lake? I got another 7 inches of snow on Saturday night, today I'm riding the Harley to work 75 degrees! but that is Colorado one of the things I love about this state.

The heat deal in AZ is just one of those things, we never cared about it in AZ it was going to be hot, for me and my wife the hotter the better but then we could be weird I don't know, we have never said its going to be too hot to boat. try Roosevelt its Higher in elevation compared to the closer lakes to Phoenix/Gilbert and should get you a little relief. If you can figure out a way to have two tow vehicles you could save some time too maybe tow the camper with the F250 and have her tow the boat with another vehicle? Don't know your wife but possibly? Stay away from Apache trail with the wife Towing but I'm sure you already thought of that even though I love Apache Lake, SOOOOOO many great memories of Burnt Corral, hot boat's and HOT WOMEN!!! WOOOHOOO oh wait I'm married now...


HEY ITS NOT A CAMPER SHELL!!

 

[AZBoatDreamer]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

No Ezmobee they are not stick in the Mud LOL. The electronics stay home. The trailer is equip with a flat screen TV and thought of hooking up to satellite service. I said nope to myself. Bad Idea. It does have a DVD for Watching movies at night.

 

[atx111]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Man, I feel for you AZBoatDreamer. I've kind of picked up some hints from my wife that she may not be that into being on the boat this year too. We've had our boat for two years, and she's really been into it. We use the boat for 100% relaxation. There has never been an agenda. If we got out there an hour or so later than I had planned, so what, still on the boat. My wife is super laid back and in order to keep it fun for her, I have to be flexible too.

The one big thing that changed was that this time last year, she was pregnant with our twin boys. We did manage to have her parents baby sit a couple of times last summer to take the boat out ourselves, but the majority of the time I would call up some friends and go. So, everybody was happy. This year, she is terrified at the thought of putting the kids on the boat. I've decided not to force the issue at all, and just kind of see how things go.

When the water warms up, and we get out there a couple of times, I might suggest we take the kids for a short afternoon trip with some friends. Their safety is my number one concern too, but as long as the kids are old enough(almost 1 year old), it can be enjoyable for all. Like you, the primary reason why I bought the boat was to spend time as a family. So, the main thing that I realized is just to keep things flexible. If I've learned anything about my wife, its that once I start putting demands on things, she totally shuts down. This is especially true when it comes to the boat.

 

[AZBoatDreamer]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Lipp there wasn’t any Ice on the lake. Several boaters were out enjoy the low 70 degree weather.

If we did take the trailer and the boat to the lake it would be for a few days. Too much work for a day trip.
I think our Mini Van can tow the boat. Believe it or not but it does have some towing capacity. I would have to check the towing rating. Towing a boat with a mini van how cool is that.
Never been to apache lake. I heard the launching is awful.

ATX Your boat is new and I’m sure you have a lot invested into it. At least you will get your kids into boating at an early age and they will grow up to love boating.

 

[rivermouse]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

After reading of your delima you have no choise but to throw away your captains hat and wear this instead.lol

 

[AZBoatDreamer]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Rivermouse: I rather have a different color than blue.

Bubba I’m glad you had a meaningful talk with Mrs Bubba. I think I need two boats now
I want to ski and wake board. A toon for lazy relaxing boating and a ski boat for water sports.
I even considered getting a Jet boat. That would go over well.

 

[hog88]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Ok I let this thread cook over night and I had a feeling I would get all the reactions.
Friscoboater I cried to but I don’t think this is a lost cause. Everyone has given me some good Ideas.
Yamaha I do not fully understand why she doesn’t like to go. I guess I need to have a Heart to Heart with her even though I will be sad.
Bonairll your post makes me even sadder. I do a lot for my family and I hope my wife will atleast go boating with me so I can atleast ski. Also I want to take up wake boarding this summer.
Southkogs. Thanks for the advice. Like you said I got to get boating out of the “My” system. Even if its two hours at the lake if fine with me.
Jeep Man you have a point. My wife likes to go canoeing. I have an electric motor for our canoe so we don’t paddle. She likes the slow quite sightseeing boating. This is where we differ. I like canoeing but I like to go fast on our boat when the water is smooth. I like the speed of boating. All three boys have kayaks that we use for camping. They like to Kayak. I would like to get a pontoon and put it in a slip. So we have a boat for my speed fix and a Pontoon for relaxing.
So the camping season is coming upon us as well in AZ. Last night I said to the family lets plan a camping trip not this weekend but next. You should see all their faces light up. Even the dog. Do I get the reaction when I said lets go boating. Nope! OK I think I get it now.
Lipp I was at chatfield res april 1st just checking out the lake. I had lots of time on my hands that day. It was a sunny warm day and a couple days later it snowed. Go figure.
Incoop my compromised was 7:00am out the door. I think this was doable. Spend a summer in AZ and you will understand get in and get our early at the lakes.
Pokman and Old Jeep. I think you have zeroed in on me. I get frustrated when everyone isn’t out the door at a specific time. This goes with everything. Not just boating. I realize now I make it stressful.

Right there is your solution. Rent a spot for your RV where you can set it up and leave it all summer by a lake, that way you can just haul your boat back and forth. Your wife and kids can camp, kayak sleep in or whatever, you can go boating whenever you want on the weekends. Simple solution and everyone is happy.

 

[QC]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

• Go romantic boating with Wife.

• Take the trailer and boat to the lake. This is doable at the lake 30 minutes away. I would tow one and go back home and tow the other.

Do these two together and I think you're good to go. Find a way to keep the boat in the water overnight and that stress is eliminated once you're there. My .02

I think I need two boats now

No!! You need seven. I've done a lot of research on this.

 

[ezmobee]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

ever going to get to the pontoon project I've had waiting for a year. (A 30' tri-toon)

yeah I've been waiting on that too.

 

[Chinewalker]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Man, it's a post like this that reminds me of how fortunate I am to be married to my wife. She enjoys boating and everything that goes with it. She actually did the legwork when acquiring our 18-footer - found it in a field, tracked down the owner, etc. She's come home with outboard motors in the trunk - ones she's found at garage sales, at the scrapyard, etc. Her ideal summer Sunday is a lazy cruise out and about in the boat... And she's the one who will grab the bottle of Spray-9 and a chamois and spend all morning cleaning the boat. And, no, she does not have a sister...

Our 2-1/2 year old is a River Rat in the making. If he even SEES his lifey (lifejacket) he goes bonkers and runs around the house wanting to go for a boat ride. LOVES the boat. It's scary because he has a "Radar O'Reilly" type of feel for when a Laker is coming through the Seaway out front, calling out "Big Ship" a good 5 minutes before anyone else sees or hears anything. Even bath time involves an entire armada of toy boats and ships.

 

[jmarty10]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

My oldest son started getting fed up with it last year and my wife started complaining about the hassle of helping the kids on and off the tube and dealing with the rope. 3 kids also fight alot. So.....we started scaling back the family outings on weekends and I go out during the week when nobody is out. I am also letting one kid take a friend sometimes on weekends. Now I captain the boat and handle the rope for the tube. No biggie in my mind. We also did a fishing trip last fall with a guide and my kids loved it so the boat will now double as a ski and fishing boat. Change it up a little AZboater, there are plenty of other ways to enjoy your boat.

 

[DECK SWABBER 58]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Bubba I?m glad you had a meaningful talk with Mrs Bubba. I think I need two boats now
I want to ski and wake board. A toon for lazy relaxing boating and a ski boat for water sports.
I even considered getting a Jet boat. That would go over well.

I recently bought my second boat, a toon! My lady is some what nervous on the water and DOES NOT like to go fast.
The toon is just perfect and the two dogs will love it too. If I want to go fast I can just go by myself in the other boat.

Do these two together and I think you're good to go. Find a way to keep the boat in the water overnight and that stress is eliminated once you're there. My .02

Most of our lakes here in The Shawnee Nat. Forest/Crab Orchard Wildlife Refuge have campgrounds right on the water.
In fact the marina where I plan on docking the toon is right in the middle of a campground.
These two activities definately go together. Since the family already likes camping I think your problems will soon be solved.

No!! You need seven. I've done a lot of research on this.

One of those projects I keep waiting for the "round tuits" to show up for. I've been wrestling with just flipping it for a buck or two, putting it in my pond as a dock / fishing / swiming platform and selling the trailer for a decent buck, turning it into a paddle wheeler, or something competely different. Guess now my decision has been made for me. After all, I finally figured out that when momma is happy, my life is soooo much better.

Or.... when momma's not happy no ones happy.

 

[dvtran]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

My wife likes to relax during the weekends and not be in a rush. Hench go camping and relax or spend the weekend doing much of nothing. I'm on the go person and have to be doing something.

There isn't many places to take the Travel Trailer and Boat at the same place in AZ.

No way would I let my 17yr take boat and truck to the lake alone with friends. I have no problem leaving the two older boys at home alone. We do that often anyway and they even baby sit the youngest

My dad got me my first 10 foot aluminum when I was 10 years old. Me and my best friend were the only grade 5 kids with our own boats. By the time I was 13 I knew how to launch a 16 foot fiberglass all by myself. We were really safe on the water until we hit the party age of 16. I honestly have no idea why my dad let me take the family ski boat out whenever I wanted with a boatload of friends and beer. We had to pick up the beer at an undisclosed location after launching mind you. But i will instill a different mindset with my kids when they get to that age. Hopefully they listen better than I ever did. I don't know what I am going to do when my son asks me for the boat keys. I got some time to think about it. By then, my boat will be about 11 years old and shouldnt mean as much to me as it does now.

 

[AZBoatDreamer]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Jmarty a change is in order. Thanks.
DVtram 17yr hasn’t given us much trouble in life. I think he doesn’t have the driving experience to trailer a boat. Not sure if I still would trust a bunch of teens in a boat without adult supervision.

 

[BTMCB]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

MY admiral and I met at age 10, dated at 16, married at 19 and are still together nearly 40 years later (59 years old). So, needless to say, we have been "friends" for a long, very long time! While the boat is not her favorite past time (riding her horse his) she knows it is my favorite hobby and my form of relaxation, fun and therapy. So, she does enjoy going out and we do have fun. But, I realize it is not something she wants to do every chance we get. We have to come to a reasonable compromise. Saturdays are our "boating" day. We go, she participates (to some extent) in the prep, launch and retrieval process with a smile on her face. We have a good time. She even goes on Saturdays when the temps are cold (for CA) - cuz it is our boating day. Then on Sunday (as well as other days during the week), she rides her horse with no complaints from me. I simply take the boat out solo. I often do the same during the week when I get the chance. This works for us. It is all about negotiation, compromise and respect. My 02. Good luck David!