Re: 1987 14 Bayliner Capri
Guilty as charged! My first car was an 84' model that was white. Only went into the shop one time and that was when I thought I had the 4WD version. Turns out, they do sink in 3 feet of mud!
Oh dear. Another Lynx owner.
IN that case, I have to call "You're doing it wrong". You need to build up a sufficient enough head of steam (which is a laughable concept in an Escort/Lynx, but humor me here for a second...). They are very light, and will skip off of mud, major puddles, small lakes, and in some cases, telephone poles if you hit them hard enough.
Other nuggets of Mercury Lynx wisdom:
The brakes experienced major fade at anything over 40 mph, especially when chasing a down your friend in a 1993 Mercedes 190E at 3:00 a.m. with the headlights out. In the rain.
The wheels were steel and didn't seem to care when you had flat tires.
THere was no clutch interlock on the ignition. Also, the bumpers were made of extremely hard steel with 5mph impact absorbers. These two facts are interrelated.
The door locks were merely suggestions.
0-60 was measured in wheezing bouts of out-of-control laughter.
Top speed was front-drivetrain-vibration-limited to 65 mph if your health insurance was active.
The car will shed various items (mufflers, carburetors, etc) at very inopportune times, like when going over a railroad crossing with an extremely hot girl in the car.
TO get the car to run correctly, my mechanic tuned it in such a way that it belched smoke and backfired whenever you let off the gas. This meant dropping your girlfriend off "after hours" required serious creativity. Thank God for manual transmissions....
Between the oil leaks and the startup smoke, my car was a rolling superfund site.
I am sure I can come up with more...
