Girl prolbems, already

[Barbee Q]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

Short and sweet Ryan.. You were maybe the rebound guy.. The shock of old boyfriend didn't quite set in, then she started seeing you to take her mind off the old boyfriend.. <br />Once a girl has had an older guy, it is harder for a younger guy to have a chance..<br />You see this guy knows how to whoo a girl and say thinks that maybe you are just not old enough to understand..<br />The 21 yr old is more frisky and has more freedom and probally more responsiblity..<br />Not that you don't...<br />So if I were you I would, listen like most people suggested be a friend for now... Take a deep breath and relax on this one..<br />Sit back and watch what happens..<br />Don't offer so much to be there for her as much, because it not healthy for a 16yr to be a pawn for someone else, when they feel like it..<br />I wouldn't sit around and wait for phone call either..<br />You are going to meet alot of young ladies and some you are just going to fall head over heels for.. But just sit back for awhile and get to know them.. <br />I have had my heart broken many times and I still get it broken and I'm 38...<br />So hang in there Ryan and you'll be OK...

 

[Pony]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

Its always worth a shot Ryan. None of us know the girl and for all we know everything she is saying is completely valid. PW2 is right, we all learn more from making our own choices than heeding the advice of others.

 

[11 footer]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

From what I know of her, and what others who have known her longer then me have told me, she is a very honest person with good intentions. I don't know of any time when she had ever lied to anyone, thats real hard to find in a 16-18y/o girl.I really don't think she had any bad intentions with me, and kept saying over and over when she broke up with me that she didn't want me to think I did anything wrong and how it was all her. <br /><br />Its not like shes all I've got and I will never find another girl, I've had girlfriends before for a lot longer then two weeks, and NEVER felt this dissapointed when it was all over. Today, this morning espechally is the most upset I've ever been over a girl. This is the only reason I'm trying real hard to do the right thing from here.<br /><br />Although she doesn't go to my school, her best friend does and I'll be seeing her quite a bit tomorow, I expect to find out quite a bit more from her. She of all people would know if I have a chance again or not, I know that the two of them have been talking about it, I just hope she tells me.

 

[KRS]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

Move on.... 16 and already full of baggage... she doesn't know what she wants let alone trying to take care of your feelings... move on.<br /><br />As far as her friend goes, I wouldn't count on a 16 year old girl being honest with you about her best friend.... that should make sense.

 

[PW2]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

Oh, no, Ryan<br /><br />She's giving you the "It's not you, it's me" routine.<br /><br />In the immortal words of George Kostanza of Seinfeld.<br /><br />"She can't use that! I invented the 'It's not you, it's me routine'<br /><br />Ryan, you crack me up! Please let us know how it turns out!

 

[11 footer]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

Well I'm glad you get a kick out of it.<br /><br />Another note about her character, and why I think she's a really good person. I just remembered this,<br />We are at the mall and she finds a wallet, with license, credit cards and cash it in, I didn't count it, but I think it was like three out four 20's This girls parents have very little money, she works pretty much as many hours as posable to make money, and pays for all her own stuff, getting no money from her parents, although I'm not positive, I suspect she even contributes money to her household. And, what does she do with this wallet? Turns it in to mall security right away without hesitation, the thought of doing anything else with it never even seemed to enter her mind.<br /><br />What do you all think of that?

 

[Dunaruna]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

She has a moral code, and she abides by it. That's (unfortunatly) a rare thing these days.<br /><br />Still waiting for the pic.

 

[Pony]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

Man some of you dont seem to want to give Ryan any credit or chance here........<br /><br />Maybe its because most of you don't remember what it was to be 16 or whatever........there are things that I wish I would've done at 16, chances I wish I wouldve taken. I'd now rather take a chance than regret it later. <br /><br />Leave yourself open to other possibilities but dont give up this one necessarily Ryan

 

[PW2]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

Sorry, Ryan. I was 16 once, and do remember how it was back then.<br /><br />Good Luck!

 

[mattttt25]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

you'll go through this plenty more times. and you'll be on the other side as well.<br /><br />when you get older, you'll look back and see it's all part of growing up and maturing. don't get too torn up about it, the feelings will subside when the next hottie walks by...<br /><br />and everyone has their amy. if you don't know what i'm talking about, rent the movie- "chasing amy"

 

[LadyFish]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

Originally posted by Ryan T.:<br /> I don’t expect to be going out with her again by the end of the week, but I’m really hope that by then we’ll be able to talk and go out places together as friends, and work from there.<br /><br />I’m prepared to spend some time doing this, if need be. Wish me luck.

There ya go little buddy, you are handling this the right way.<br /><br />Try to understand that a girl's 'first', especially with an older, more sexually experienced guy, is a tough one to get over. Her emotions are not in check yet. I think a part of her wants to get over him and knows that he may have taken advantage of her, but because of her own pride/dignity she dosen't want to admit that she may have made a mistake. She would prefer to believe that she really means more to this guy than she actually does.<br /><br />The worst thing you can do is talk bad about this guy or angry with him. Part of her still cherishes him and it could come back and bite you in the bootie.<br /><br />Give her time on this one. If she's the great gal you think she is, then she is genuinely distraught over all of this, its just gonna take her a little time.<br /><br />Like everyone had said, be her friend for now. Don't expect anything romantically until she is ready. In the meantime, show her friendship, compassion, and fun. She'll enjoy being with you and not feel pressured since she may feel a little gunshy about getting hurt if she gets too involved too fast. Nobody wants to make the same mistake twice hun.<br /><br />If she has sparked a flame in your heart, she is worth the time. Patience my friend, patience.

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

The scumbag was 21 years old, she's 16. It was a very serious relationship (all three mounts of it) and they "did stuff". <br /><br />Ryan: I'm sorry but I just couldn't let this go. Did she date him for three "mounts" or three"months". I've been LMAO reading that typo error.

 

[KRS]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

She has a moral code but she's dating you???? LOL, some humor there to pick you up

 

[oddjob]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

Three mounts!LOL I cant believe the rest of us let that slip..

 

[Haut Medoc]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

T2F....GOOD EYE!.... ....JK

 

[JustMrWill]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

Ok...some advice:<br /><br />This is the toughest to do so as a 16 year old, will probably not be followed (I was 16 and I know back then I couldn't do it)...tell her to take as much time as is needed and until then you will be her friend but don't "wait for her". If you do, you will be the "safe backup guy". She will not chase you cause she doesn't have to. She is waiting for 21 yr old to come back to her. If he gets bored with his newest "playthings" there will be "booty calls" (disguised as the "oh, I made a mistake...I really do love you...") and she will respond (for the first 5 or 6 times atleast). If you continue on with your life...maybe even date a few other girls...she may realize what a catch you would be and come after you (girls always want what they can't have.) Be a friend...but don't ALWAYS be available. Explain to her that you would like for this relationship to go somewhere when it is ready but that you will not be putting your life on hold for it.<br /><br />Now, reality is that you will probably:<br />Wait for her to call...cancelling other plans or just not making them in fear of missing the call. Drive by her work a few times a night when she is working...not stopping in...just checking to make sure she is "alright" (ok...making sure she isn't with HIM). Obsess about HIM. Do stupip crap like hunt him down...key his car...pour sugar in his tank...break windows...etc...until you are caught and either 1. Get arrested. 2. Get the sh!t kicked outta ya. 3. BOTH 1 & 2 at which point you will obsess about him more but now your pride is injured. She now is yelling at you...she wants you to just leave him alone. You become the "bad guy". She runs to HIM...*sigh* Sorry. Sorta got away from me.<br /><br />If it was meant to be...it will be...if not...be prepared to get hurt.<br /><br />-JMW<br />ps Just re-read...was not trying to be funny or negative...I've been there...I've been hurt as well as I had the relationship of my life...it can go either way. Good luck.

 

[SoulWinner]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

Ryan the chick is damaged goods! She let herself get used by a guy who wanted ONE thing! He took it and now he is off looking for his next. Guys like that are looking at the girls like points, ten points for a virgin, one point for a skank that gives it up on the first date. The main characteristic you should be concerned about with her is her STUPIDITY! She got played, and in just three short months she was doing the nasty!?!? I'm sorry, but I'd insist on a clean bill of health (herpes, hep C, etc.) before I'd hold her hand. I mean, come on dude, your 16 and you own a boat, I know you can do better than this.<br /><br />Now for the bad news, every single girl I ever knew with only one exception, turned into a total cheap **** after being introduced to hard leg. So, whether it be revenge or rebounding, or what ever, expect her to start spreading the news for just about anybody.<br /><br />So anyways, good luck with this one. Wear a rain coat!<br /><br />Oh BTW, if you want to see just how hung up she really is on the other guy, feed her a couple a beers Just joking

 

[Haut Medoc]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

Was that your mommy or your wife?....JK

 

[LadyFish]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

Originally posted by SoulWinner:<br /> Ryan the chick is damaged goods! She let herself get used by a guy who wanted ONE thing! He took it and now he is off looking for his next. Guys like that are looking at the girls like points, ten points for a virgin, one point for a skank that gives it up on the first date. The main characteristic you should be concerned about with her is her STUPIDITY! She got played, and in just three short months she was doing the nasty!?!? I'm sorry, but I'd insist on a clean bill of health (herpes, hep C, etc.) before I'd hold her hand. I mean, come on dude, your 16 and you own a boat, I know you can do better than this.<br /><br />Now for the bad news, every single girl I ever knew with only one exception, turned into a total cheap **** after being introduced to hard leg. So, whether it be revenge or rebounding, or what ever, expect her to start spreading the news for just about anybody.<br /><br />So anyways, good luck with this one. Wear a rain coat!<br /><br />Oh BTW, if you want to see just how hung up she really is on the other guy, feed her a couple a beers Just joking

DAUM SW, I think you could give her the benefit of the doubt, she could have very easily made a huge mistake in her life. It happens you know.<br /><br />Its just not right to classify all girls into the same category because of your experience(s).<br /><br />The way I see it she made a HUGE mistake but that dosen't mean she's a ***** or going to be for Pete's sake.

 

[SoulWinner]

Re: Girl prolbems, already

Very true LF. However, it doesn't mean she'll be an angel either. I generally don't give anyone or anything the benefit of doubt. Hope for the best but plan for the worst.<br /><br />J.Kopec, both LOL!