Life goes by fast....

Stachi

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Jul 14, 2009
Messages
1,671
A group of 15-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner.
Finally they agreed to meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View
restaurant because they had only $6.00 among them and Jimmy Johnson, the cute
boy in Social Studies, lived on that street.

10 years later, the group of 25-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet
for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because
the beer was cheap, the restaurant offered free snacks, the band was good,
there was no cover charge, and there were lots of cute guys.

10 years later, the group of 35-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet
for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because
the cosmos were good, it was right near the gym, and if they went late
enough, there wouldn't be too many whiny little kids.

10 years later, the group of 45-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet
for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because
the martinis were big and the waiters had tight pants and nice buns.

10 years later, the group of 55-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet
for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because
the prices were reasonable, the wine list was good, the restaurant had
windows that could be opened (in case of hot flashes), and fish is good for
cholesterol.

10 years later, the group of 65-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet
for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because
the lighting was good and the restaurant had early bird specials.

10 years later, the group of 75-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet
for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because
the food was not too spicy and the restaurant was handicapped-accessible.

10 years later, the group of 85-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet
for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because
they had never been there before.

:D
 

Fireman431

Rear Admiral
Joined
Sep 17, 2007
Messages
4,292
Re: Life goes by fast....

That's 5 minutes of my life that I'll never get back...:mad:
 

QC

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Mar 22, 2005
Messages
22,783
Re: Life goes by fast....

I kinda liked it too. That restaurant has done really well . . .
 

veritas honus

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Jun 13, 2010
Messages
1,876
Re: Life goes by fast....

To that, I'll add...

An 85 year old man goes to the doctor for his annual physical. The doctor tells him, "I have two pieces of bad news." First, you have cancer. The man says,"Cancer, My Lord" What am I going to do? The two of them discuss it at length; and finally, the doctor tells the man the second part of the bad news. "You have Alzheimers Disease." The old man says, "Alzheimers... Oh no... What am I going to do now???... Well, Thank God you didn't tell me I have cancer!!!":D
 

Stachi

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Jul 14, 2009
Messages
1,671
Re: Life goes by fast....

lol....
To that, I'll add...

An 85 year old man goes to the doctor for his annual physical. The doctor tells him, "I have two pieces of bad news." First, you have cancer. The man says,"Cancer, My Lord" What am I going to do? The two of them discuss it at length; and finally, the doctor tells the man the second part of the bad news. "You have Alzheimers Disease." The old man says, "Alzheimers... Oh no... What am I going to do now???... Well, Thank God you didn't tell me I have cancer!!!":D
 

bigdee

Commander
Joined
Jul 27, 2006
Messages
2,667
Re: Life goes by fast....

I use the same logic for keeping all my magazines and not throwing them away.....someday I'll re-read them as new!
 

Tim Frank

Vice Admiral
Joined
Jul 29, 2008
Messages
5,346
Re: Life goes by fast....

To that, I'll add...

An 85 year old man goes to the doctor for his annual physical. The doctor tells him, "I have two pieces of bad news." First, you have cancer. The man says,"Cancer, My Lord" What am I going to do? The two of them discuss it at length; and finally, the doctor tells the man the second part of the bad news. "You have Alzheimers Disease." The old man says, "Alzheimers... Oh no... What am I going to do now???... Well, Thank God you didn't tell me I have cancer!!!":D

Ahhhh, a bit of Alzheimer humour...(you couldn't even be bothered to spell it correctly...:facepalm:)
An insidious disease, which any of us with family members affected can attest has no humorous component whatsoever.:eek:
....very classy. :rolleyes:
 

45Auto

Commander
Joined
May 31, 2002
Messages
2,842
Re: Life goes by fast....

An insidious disease, which any of us with family members affected can attest has no humorous component whatsoever.
....very classy

It was a joke, and a rather classy one as jokes go. It apperantly held your attention long enough to read the whole thing.

Actually, it seems that about 92% of us with family members affected by Alzheimer's feel that the humour associated with Alzheimer's jokes is a necessary part of dealing with the disease. It would probably be beneficial to your affected family member if you would smile, lighten up a little, and enjoy the time you have available with them.

A while back, I posted a short commentary about whether jokes about illness, specifically Alzheimer?s Disease in this case, were in bad taste, funny, hurtful, necessary, etc. The response was OVERWHELMING! Although a few of you felt that they were in bad taste, more than 92% of you told me that they were NECESSARY to keep sanity while caring for a family member stricken by the disease.

http://rahphx.wordpress.com/2010/01/07/alzheimers-jokes-from-families-in-phoenix-scottsdale-az/
 

ngt

Master Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Feb 26, 2009
Messages
874
Re: Life goes by fast....

You forgot the last one...

10 years later, the group of 95-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet
for dinner. Finally they agreed to get wheeled into Dairy Queen restaurant because
their teeth weren't strong enough to chew anything at the Ocean View restaurant.

all jokes aside...life does go too damn fast.
 

veritas honus

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Jun 13, 2010
Messages
1,876
Re: Life goes by fast....

Ahhhh, a bit of Alzheimer humour...(you couldn't even be bothered to spell it correctly...:facepalm:)
An insidious disease, which any of us with family members affected can attest has no humorous component whatsoever.:eek:
....very classy. :rolleyes:

I forgot the apostrophe... Shoot me now!!!:rolleyes:

All kidding aside, Tim... If I've offended you, please accept my sincere apology.

For all it's worth, I'm all to aware of the debilitating and devastating effects of degenerative neurological diseases.
 

NetDoc

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Aug 20, 2011
Messages
517
Re: Life goes by fast....

Let no good deed go unpunished! I thought all the jokes were funny and I have heard them before! :D As for the spelling, the grammar police are even worse:
nogrammar.png
 

lncoop

Vice Admiral
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
5,147
Re: Life goes by fast....

Let no good deed go unpunished! I thought all the jokes were funny and I have heard them before! :D As for the spelling, the grammar police are even worse:
nogrammar.png

As a proud member of the GPD I take umbrage at that characterization. We rarely take audible exception to bad grammar unless it renders a post unintelligible, which sadly is not all that uncommon. In that case I believe it's Dockwrecker who occasionally invokes the spirit of ee cummings.;)
 

RogersJetboat454

Commander
Joined
Jul 9, 2010
Messages
2,964
Re: Life goes by fast....

As a proud member of the GPD I take umbrage at that characterization. We rarely take audible exception to bad grammar unless it renders a post unintelligible, which sadly is not all that uncommon. In that case I believe it's Dockwrecker who occasionally invokes the spirit of ee cummings.;)

As a member of the GPD, I was wondering if you care to comment on whether or not you have SBL in custody, and is he doing hard labor for his offenses? :D
 

lncoop

Vice Admiral
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
5,147
Re: Life goes by fast....

As a member of the GPD, I was wondering if you care to comment on whether or not you have SBL in custody, and is he doing hard labor for his offenses? :D

We have him in custody, but it's up to the juvenile courts to pass sentence. I've recommended probation provided he completes a remedial English class and swears to refrain from shady boat restorations.
 

Tim Frank

Vice Admiral
Joined
Jul 29, 2008
Messages
5,346
Re: Life goes by fast....

Edit: Wonder how the Red Sox will make out tonight? :confused::)
 

Tim Frank

Vice Admiral
Joined
Jul 29, 2008
Messages
5,346
Re: Life goes by fast....

I forgot the apostrophe... Shoot me now!!!:rolleyes:

All kidding aside, Tim... If I've offended you, please accept my sincere apology.

For all it's worth, I'm all to aware of the debilitating and devastating effects of degenerative neurological diseases.

If you'll accept mine...:redface:

A simple "Not funny " would have expressed my opinion just fine (and saved me from my snail-paced typing).
The spelling crack was neither necessary nor "classy".:facepalm:
 

Fireman431

Rear Admiral
Joined
Sep 17, 2007
Messages
4,292
Re: Life goes by fast....

If you'll accept mine...:redface:

A simple "Not funny " would have expressed my opinion just fine (and saved me from my snail-paced typing).
The spelling crack was neither necessary nor "classy".:facepalm:

Now...that was class...:)
 
Top