Respect the boat!

[emoney]

Re: Respect the boat!

I've got two grown kids, and I've taken them, as small children on other people's boats. There was no residual for the owner to take care of when we were finished. It's not hard to do, this thing call "parenting". And for those people that are being critical of the OP, then you need to take personal stock of how your interactions with others are, because you may be missing quite a few "messes" of your own. Not everyone has a "it's no big deal....who cares" attitude, and just because it doesn't agree with yours, doesn't make it wrong.

My house, when the kids were growing up, was usually a disaster zone, or at least it felt like it. I never minded the chaos, as it was signs of a healthy, happy family. However, that didn't mean, to me, that the disaster zone came with us as we traveled out and about. As for us, we started teaching our kids about respect and caring for the opinions of others as soon as they could understand the spoken language. That didn't make us strict disciplinarians, but more what I considered "good parents". The "never a lender nor a borrower be" theme isn't a bad one, ftr. My kids are now 22 & 24 and I rest comfortable knowing that they respect the opinion and property of other people. Oh sure, they may come to my house and still take over like they've just won a "king of the mountain" battle, but when going to others, they're mindful that they're not "home". Having kids isn't "easy" but it also doesn't have to be "hard". We actually said "no" to a lot of things, fun things, that we were invited to do as young parents, simply because it wouldn't be appropriate to take the kids when they were small. Other times, we had a "chat" with the inviters about how the kids could react in certain situations to make absolutely sure we were all on the same page. If, and when they did make a mess, just being kids, I would NEVER leave that mess to be cleaned up by someone else. That's just utterly nonsense in my opinion, old fashioned as it may be.

Ok, I'm off my soap box, but OP, I get where you're coming from.

 

[Geko45]

Re: Respect the boat!

If, and when they did make a mess, just being kids, I would NEVER leave that mess to be cleaned up by someone else. That's just utterly nonsense in my opinion, old fashioned as it may be.

Ok, I'm off my soap box, but OP, I get where you're coming from.

Thank you for that. This is all I'm getting at too. And again, if you replace "boat" with "car" in my story then I don't I would have anywhere near as many critics.

I also think you hit upon a significant point. Some people leave a trail of chaos everywhere they go, of course those would be the same folks that would think this would be "no big deal".

 

[UncleWillie]

Re: Respect the boat!

I am with you Geko!

I am the captain and one of the reasons I bought the boat was to entertain 4 Grand Kids by proxy. (Not Mine.)
When they come on board. The PFD go on and stay on.
They are informed that they are to remain seated whenever the boat is in motion, if they want to change seats, they ask first.
There is No walking around carrying food by the little ones, one hand holding on to something at all times.

Chips or anything that can be blown in the wind are a bad idea. Mini Pretzels, Carrots, Cheese sticks are much cleaner.
I supply the snacks, and they will get a small handful in a plastic Glad-ware container with lid at my discretion.
Ginger Ale, 7-Up, and Mt.Dew are much better choices than Red Fruit drinks.

When they start the "I'm Hungry" routing every five minutes, I remind them we came out here to go Tubing and this is NOT a Dinner Cruise. "Do you want to Tube or do you want to go back in and eat chips?"

They are Not hungry, They are bored. They want attention and having you serve them food gets it.

They also want and respect fair discipline from an authority figure. There are rules and consequences.
Most parent today haven't figured this out.
It is amazing how an answer of "NO" with no explanation shocks kids today! It seems they know how to say it, but they never hear it from an adult.

They have a great time. There is no complaining. They talk about it for days and keep asking when we can go again.

Someone needs to be in charge. If you do not act like you are in charge some one else will take charge.
And we have seen where that leads.

 

[Geko45]

Re: Respect the boat!

I replaced the carpet with marine vinyl, now I can either sweep up a dry mess with a broom and dust pan or just hose the boat out.

That's actually not a bad idea at all. It would have certainly cut down on clean up time. Still, I was surprised at how those little bits found their way into everything. Between cushions, in the cup holders, stuck between the trim on the panel, etc, etc. It was bizarre.

 

[MJG24]

Re: Respect the boat!

I also think you hit upon a significant point. Some people leave a trail of chaos everywhere they go, of course those would be the same folks that would think this would be "no big deal".

This little incident/story gets more dramatic (and ridiculous) everytime you talk about it. You have refered to some spilled potato chips by a child, as a 'disaster', 'chaos', and 'disrespectful', and calling your guests "drooling idiots". Come on... That's why you're getting the reacion you are.

And for all of you being critical of 'parenting', and I do whole heartedly agree, let's not forget this is a single mom and a boyfriend...

 

[Geko45]

Re: Respect the boat!

Someone needs to be in charge. If you do not act like you are in charge some one else will take charge.
And we have seen where that leads.

I put my foot down on wearing PFDs and one other issue I hadn't previously mentioned. I had told the kids to stay on the boat until we had the motor off and lines tied. The little one climbed off anyway while I was tieing off (no, neither of the other two adults stopped her). On the return trip, this issue was reiterated with much more urgency and I made sure I got an acknowledgement from both of the kids that they understood.

But you are right, I'll need to work out some of the other non-safety related details of my pre-trip briefing.

 

[Geko45]

Re: Respect the boat!

Remember, its just a boat. Your family and friends come first. And if they really are downright destructive and the parents totally apathetic, you know not to invite them again.

Exactly right on the last part. On the first part, I just want to elaborate on what I think is a crucial point. A belonging is not just a belonging as the old saying goes. A belonging represents something you worked hard to attain. A belonging represents days, weeks, perhaps even months of hard work on your part to be able to acquire it. "Friends and family" that treat your possessions without respect are essentially saying "I don't care about your hard work." I've cut both friends and family out of my life for such behavior and will continue to do so in the future.

I once made the mistake of renting a house to my brother and his family. They were always kinda messy, but it was a rent to own arrangement to try and help them (and my nieces/nephew) out so I wasn't to concerned about how they kept the place inside (as long as I didn't have any HOA notices, I was ok).

Well, when their marriage started failing, they graduated into full scale hoarding. One day, they just all left. I personally (as in me, myself and I) hauled to the landfill 4.5 tons of garbage and sold two dead cars for scrap value. It took 7 months and cost me $27,000 (mold remediation) to get it showable and on the market. I eventually recovered my money and even squeaked out a small profit, but I'll never get back the seven months of frustration and back breaking work I had to put into it just to keep from having the house sink me financially.

 

[Home Cookin']

Re: Respect the boat!

Re: " I come here to vent to fellow boat owners who I think would at least be able to relate to the experience and instead I'm told I have a stick up my butt...."

I think you did not estimate how most fellow boat owners regard their boats and things that happen when you use them. There are a few here who treat their boats like a priceless masterpiece and their guests (few and far between I wager) like visitors to a museum. Most do not. Now you know, if the responses are representative. You are not in the majority; that while you have a point, generally, that guests should be considerate and not make messes, your view takes it too far.

The most telling event of all is that you spent 90 minutes searching for every possible potato chip crumb that may have found its way aboard in 15 minutes. Like you were searching for toxic waste or something like fish guts that would have future harmful effects on the boat. After you got up what you could in 5 minutes, the rest could just stay there and no one would have ever known.

There's neglect, reasonable care and maintenance, and excessive care. The two extremes take the pleasure out of pleasure boating. The middle ground is a wide wide middle, bringing into account the type of boat and how it is used, and one area were cars and houses are good analogies.

 

[greenbush future]

Re: Respect the boat!

I can't tolerate the parents of kids who do nothing when their own cause this kind of mess, and feel no obligation to clean the entire thing up. Untrained kids is normal, but you really cant blame a kid for what they haven't been trained for. As a kid I knew better than to trash anyone's property, you just didn't do that to anyone. You have every right to vent, but in the end these parents you invited for a 15 minute ride should be smart enough to know what their kids do, and how to make right these kinds of messes. So sad that parents just don't know how to train kids for public events, I was always on my best, or I knew I would be in deep do-do. You want to live like a pig at home, fine, but don't think it's OK to trash others personal item, and walk away.

And BTW there is a cool boat snack called Pringles, and will keep most messes down to 2 minute drills.

 

[HeloMech]

Re: Respect the boat!

Geko...

I don't have kids, I don't want kids, I don't even like kids. My friends with kids know that if we make plans to go somewhere, it's understood that I mean them. Not their wife, kids, family dog, aunts, cousins, etc.

I sympathize with your post and the fact that others have just blown you off.

My personal opinion is that people with kids have already become numb to the results of their kids being around and getting into things. As if they've just accepted that "kids are kids so I might as well accept that my things are going to be broken, messed with or otherwise disrespected".

I don't live in a museum, I don't make alot of money. What I have, I work for.

Next time, tell them to leave the chip eating little monkeys on the dock!

 

[82rude]

Re: Respect the boat!

GEKO your boat your rules .HELOMECH love your last line!set the rules ahead of time.if you dont want the little people eating tell mom no goodies were only going a mile if not good enough for her or anybody else too bad its your boat.personally i dont care about a little mess as my boat actually cleans up easly but still what i say goes and if you dont like it i will stop and you can get out and walk home.

 

[Geko45]

Re: Respect the boat!

Glad to hear that I'm not completely alone on this. It was surprising to see that this relatively trivial rant was so polarizing. As for the naysayers, I suspect a casual stroll through the marina looking at the various conditions of the boats would be indicative of their owner's stance on such issues.

 

[TerryMSU]

Re: Respect the boat!

Kids will be kids... But adults are the bosses. Mom abdicated the throne. Kid took over. Boyfriend is the joker. Sorry, but when I took my daughter anywhere she was under control. Admittedly, it was Mom and I working together who controlled her.

Years ago, when I was single, I had kids on my boat with single mothers. The difference was that I knew these kids were desperately in need of a male role model and so I gave them a lot of slack. Also, my boat was a Hobie Cat, and it inherently was self hosing down.

The one area I did not compromise on was safety. Frankly, if I see a kid in danger around water, I will speak up and I do not care whose boat the kid is on. I would not take that friend out with a kid ever again.

There might be a couple of messages there. BTW, my first thought was mostly in line with Geko.

TerryMSU

Took some friends out on the boat yesterday. Just a quick run down to a lakeside restaurant for dinner and back. It was me, my buddy from work, his girlfriend and her two kids. Well, for some reason my buddy thought he needed to bring a cooler with snacks and drinks for the kids for this short trip. Fine, no problem.

Well, on the way there the little one was left unattended with a full bag of chips which ended up completely emptied onto the carpet in the bow seating area. The mom did try to pickup what she could, but they quickly ended up as trampled soggy bits that you can't pick up with your hands. Grrr, frustrating, but accidents happen (I've got to go back out there and vacuum those up in a bit).

On the way back, the same little one starts playing with the front locker hatch. Open, slam shut... Open, slam shut... You get the picture. I ask them to take it easy up there (my buddy and kids were in the front). What does my buddy do? He tries to physically climb into the freakin locker!? He seemed more concerned with making sure his girlfriend's kids thought he was cool than not damaging my boat. It's built tough so I'm sure it's fine, but still... WTH!?

What is with people and boats such that some turn into complete drooling idiots the moment they set foot on one?

:facepalm:

 

[snowforfun4]

Re: Respect the boat!

Glad to hear that I'm not completely alone on this. It was surprising to see that this relatively trivial rant was so polarizing. As for the naysayers, I suspect a casual stroll through the marina looking at the various conditions of the boats would be indicative of their owner's stance on such issues.

Geko, In no way am I downplaying the issue, it is your boat and you have the right to feel however you wish. I have an old Bayliner, but it is all mine and I pride myself on keeping it tidey. The family loves to take one of the dogs on the boat with us. Used to drive me ape**** having to clean up all the fur after the dog went for a swim. Then it hit me, he added enjoyment to the trip for me and the family so it was worth it to me. (kind of changes in attitude, changes in latitude). Made subsequent trips with the mutt less aggravating and more enjoyable to me. Point being was the increase in enjoyment enough to offset the added labor. For me it was, so dog gets to go. You may feel otherwise, but as others have noted, your boat, your rules.

 

[HeloMech]

Re: Respect the boat!

LoL, I like dogs... not kids. If I have to clean up after a shedding kid, there's going to be trouble.

 

[snowforfun4]

Re: Respect the boat!

Not so bad if you make the kids clean up after the dog then the Admiral clean up after the kids.

 

[Geko45]

Re: Respect the boat!

I have an old Bayliner, but it is all mine and I pride myself on keeping it tidey. The family loves to take one of the dogs on the boat with us. Used to drive me ape**** having to clean up all the fur after the dog went for a swim. Then it hit me, he added enjoyment to the trip for me and the family so it was worth it to me. (kind of changes in attitude, changes in latitude).

I get your point (and I'm a big Jimmy Buffett fan too). Maybe part of it was that having a friend's girlfriend's kids on board wasn't really much added enjoyment for me. In fact, I felt a bit more like an unappreciated chauffeur than part of the group having fun. It would probably be different if it were my nieces or nephews, but then again I don't think they would have behaved like that (well, except for one that is).

Kids aren't gonna be a regular occurence for me, I think. I got the boat mostly for me and for adult female company more than anything else. Dogs are probably more welcome than kids too (of the canine variety, not ugly chics ;-).

 

[laserbrn]

Re: Respect the boat!

You guys swear like kid did some real damage here. He spilled some chips, the mother cleaned them up (best she could with an available vacuum). What do you want? I'm sure she apologized and felt bad that it happened. If not, don't invite her back if it bothers you. It is indeed your boat and your rules, but it doesn't mean it's right to be a jerk about it. It's a couple of friggin' chips...it bothered you so much you had to come on here and vent about it...sheesh. Buy a nice handheld vac and keep it stowed away on the boat or the tow vehicle so you can have your guests help you out cleaning up.

I will admit that one of the most annoying parts about owning a boat is that you are ALWAYS the one stuck cleaning the boat after a long day of fun. But it comes with the territory. I understand a 15 minute ride shouldn't have to lead to cleaning the entire boat, but you should relax a little. It cost you what...2 minutes? Annoying yes...worth all this hub-bub? Only if you want to have a coronary at 50.

 

[Geko45]

Re: Respect the boat!

I understand a 15 minute ride shouldn't have to lead to cleaning the entire boat, but you should relax a little. It cost you what...2 minutes? Annoying yes...worth all this hub-bub? Only if you want to have a coronary at 50.

Meh, all the "hub-bub" is a measly little internet rant. It's not like I went tearing into them over it in real life. And, isn't that why we come here? To share the ups and downs of boating?

 

[MJG24]

Re: Respect the boat!

This just keeps getting better. If anyone disagrees with the OP, they have no right to judge, but the OP is quick to jump on the bandwagon that anyone that isn't apalled by this situation has to be a bad parent and/or a slob with their boats and possessions. The hypocricy and childishness is quite ironic.

Well, my kids are VERYwell behaved everywhere they go, especially as guests. Trust me, they know better. And my boat, cars, and everything I own is absolutely spotless and maticulously maintained. My boat will be cleaned back to a freshly detailed state after every use, regardless of the time it takes me, and I don't **** and moan about it.

It is actually possible to have a clean boat and also actually be a good parent, while not get all bent out of shape about some spilled potato chips by a kid...