Some Parenting Advise with a Rebellious kid

[tx1961whaler]

Re: Some Parenting Advise with a Rebellious kid

I went through a similar situation with my second grader. He was bored out of his skull in school. 100's on pretty well everything. I got blank looks from the principal and teacher when I explained that I'm not pleased with him getting 100's, as that tells me nothing about what he can do or how he is progressing. They would not provide a more challenging curriculum, as there was no requirement to do so. The TAG (Talented and Gifted) class addition was little better. My son was no behavior problem (not his personality...), but some of his friends acted out in some pretty extreme ways. One kid is off-the-charts brilliant, yet he has been pegged as a delinquent, nearly kicked out of school, etc. for his behavior when it would most likely be mitigated by just getting him into a more challenging situation. The kid was bored, convinced that the teacher and school were stupid, and he didn't see any point in being there.
I am blessed to have had the resources available to pull my kid out and put him in a more appropriate school that is a better to his abilities and personality (Montessori/IB school), but I am very saddened by the kids left behind in a system designed to teach to the lowest common denominator, while leaving the other kids to waste away.

 

[dirtyoldman]

Re: Some Parenting Advise with a Rebellious kid

Your post was me as a kid.

I went to public school here and was bored stiff. I knew everything and saw no use in doing homework. It literally worked for me all the way through high school, but my lack of study habits really bit me when I went to college. I had to drop out of engineering school and skate by with a degree in history. It was never about being rebellious, it's about being bored.

If I can offer any advice it would be to take any means necessary to find a way to challenge the kid and make them enjoy learning. If Liam is as smart as I was, learning can be a blast if you are actually learning. I'd look into private school. I know it's a lot of money, but I would take a second job to make sure my kids have a better chance at life than I did - and mine is pretty great all things considered!

 

[HVAC Cruiser]

Re: Some Parenting Advise with a Rebellious kid

Hey DirtyOldMan LOL

Yep it was me Too as a kid, BTW I love your handle LOL.

I agree with you 200% I went through the same and almost self destructed because of it.

Hey Tx1961

I have to say I am very happy to see I am not alone, Thank God for the internet some times, bridging the miles. I think, from reading replies to my problem, we have all been through similar situations in our lives. whether it be us personally, or those we love and care for.

From what you stated its kinda what I am going through right now, Liams attitude is like ok, got a 105, 100% plus the extra points whats next Yawn. Ironically today I just received a summer packet for Montessori, I am going to research it more tomorrow and see if there any way I can afford it.

EDIT- Sorry for the addition but I am really ready to PUNT !!! I sent a letter into school today,responding to the teacher. Liam tells me the teacher read it BUT low and behold I received no response. MAN I am so glad some of us can live on Tulsa Time. My letter was trying to confirm Friday (tomorrow). If Friday was not good for her, I could sit in Monday and Tuesday heck I said I would clear my week, month, year, if necessary. This is my child, I never thought I would have children again, then he came along after 16 years of wanting more children.

 

[cheburashka]

Re: Some Parenting Advise with a Rebellious kid

Hey DirtyOldMan LOL

Yep it was me Too as a kid, BTW I love your handle LOL.

I agree with you 200% I went through the same and almost self destructed because of it.

Hey Tx1961

I have to say I am very happy to see I am not alone, Thank God for the internet some times, bridging the miles. I think, from reading replies to my problem, we have all been through similar situations in our lives. whether it be us personally, or those we love and care for.

From what you stated its kinda what I am going through right now, Liams attitude is like ok, got a 105, 100% plus the extra points whats next Yawn. Ironically today I just received a summer packet for Montessori, I am going to research it more tomorrow and see if there any way I can afford it.

EDIT- Sorry for the addition but I am really ready to PUNT !!! I sent a letter into school today,responding to the teacher. Liam tells me the teacher read it BUT low and behold I received no response. MAN I am so glad some of us can live on Tulsa Time. My letter was trying to confirm Friday (tomorrow). If Friday was not good for her, I could sit in Monday and Tuesday heck I said I would clear my week, month, year, if necessary. This is my child, I never thought I would have children again, then he came along after 16 years of wanting more children.

How much longer in the school year? It may be time to go to her superiors. It's not always the best course of action, but I've known it to work in the past. If she isn't giving you any options for helping to fix the problem then it's not right for her to threaten to hold your son back. I think a nice chat with the principal ASAP might help smooth things over.

 

[dirtyoldman]

Re: Some Parenting Advise with a Rebellious kid

How much longer in the school year? It may be time to go to her superiors. It's not always the best course of action, but I've known it to work in the past. If she isn't giving you any options for helping to fix the problem then it's not right for her to threaten to hold your son back. I think a nice chat with the principal ASAP might help smooth things over.

I agree. I also wouldn't advocate this, but the school year is almost over and a response to a letter like that should be pretty prompt. Maybe some past teachers or a counselor can help also with behavioral questions.

 

[HVAC Cruiser]

Re: Some Parenting Advise with a Rebellious kid

Right now I am livid I sent a letter in yesterday trying to set up monitoring the class next week since Friday was coming up fast, today I sent another one with regard to him making up part of his math final because we were at the NYC Museum of Natural History that day. Based on the schedule sent home his 2 part math final was to be to be Tues and Friday. A multi-family trip was set up for Wednesday, friends from FLA are in. Well Tuesday we received an updated schedule showing the final on Wednesday. Thursday I sent a note, discussing behavior concerns, explaining the Museum trip was planned long in advance, Make up math final etc... NO RESPONSE Today sent a letter asking about Monday, another trip was planned, and again about the math final AGAIN NO RESPONSE!!! What is wrong with this teacher? my biggest fear is that she will not let him make up the final and it will seriously affect his grade. I am really starting to wonder what is her problem? At this point I am contemplating going into school with him and speaking to the teacher one on one. If that does not seem possible, going right to the principal.

Am I being overpowering? My thought, if I am its tough, he's my boy. Through all of this it has been like pulling teeth to get info from the teacher, I am ready to go ballistic.

 

[tx1961whaler]

Re: Some Parenting Advise with a Rebellious kid

You lost me there.
Why are you planning vacations during finals?

 

[HVAC Cruiser]

Re: Some Parenting Advise with a Rebellious kid

You lost me there.
Why are you planning vacations during finals?

Hey Tex, wifes friends are in from FLA. She did schedule the outings between finals in her defense. The day before the teacher changed the schedule.

 

[jonesg]

Re: Some Parenting Advise with a Rebellious kid

I'm sure you know this ,

its always always about the parenting, children are just the copies, we are their originals.

If you have a chat with a child psychologist I'm certain you will gain insight.

Until then I'd leave the teacher alone and leave things be until you see what you're doing wrong, I could tell you but free advise is only worth what you pay for it.

 

[HVAC Cruiser]

Re: Some Parenting Advise with a Rebellious kid

I'm sure you know this ,

its always always about the parenting, children are just the copies, we are their originals.

If you have a chat with a child psychologist I'm certain you will gain insight.

Until then I'd leave the teacher alone and leave things be until you see what you're doing wrong, I could tell you but free advise is only worth what you pay for it.

Hi Jonesq
Thanks for your input, Yep I know its all my fault
He and I both have sat with child psychologists, although he never realized it. My sister is a child psychologist, who teaches special needs children, and my niece is a psychologist working with prisoners.
He is also always around and has spoken with my brother who is a professor at Saint Johns University , and my sister who is a elementary school teacher. What they have said is the reports do not fit the child.

I do accept responsibility for Liam, I have raised 2 daughters and 2 step-sons that are fully grown already ranging from my oldest stepson 36 down to my youngest adult daughter 24 and never had this problem before.

The problem I am having with the teacher is lack of communication. You can not tell me my son is totally out of control in one breath, and the same day I get tests home with a 100% score with smiley faces and she writes what great work he is doing. Can anyone say bipolar ? Not to mention he did not have these problems with his last teacher that unfortunately had to go on medical leave in January. On top of that, I do not have these problems with him not listening at home. Yes there are some issues that I am trying to control with his older sister(15) not being very nice to him at times.

Im sorry but if he was as bad as she says his is there is no way he would be getting those marks, nobody is that smart. Maybe he unless he has tapped into collective thought within the universe. Surely 1 hr of homework each night does not make up for an entire day of schoolwork.


But then again I can be completely and totally wrong.


EDIT- Sometimes I can't see the forest for the trees. Your right, you brought up a child psychologist. We are in one of the best school districts here on long island, there is a full time child psychologist on staff, at the school. With his behavior being reported as it is, why hasn't Liam been referred to her? At the very least I would think he would spend lots of time being sent to the principals office. The only time that happened was when he drew a picture of an FBI agent (big FBI badge on his chest) with his gun drawn, storming a terrorist hideout. There is 0 tolerance for even drawing a gun,